


FireStarter

by queenLiz



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Alternate Universe, Dom Thor, Dry Orgasms, Mental Health Issues, Modern/human setting, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Self-Harm, Sif is a bitch, Sub Loki, Unhealthy Relationships, graphic details of rape and child abuse, some non/con, thor and loki are not brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-05-16 05:46:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5816500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenLiz/pseuds/queenLiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to Loki's dismay, he must share his wife with Thor a man that he both hates and loves. But as their relationships progress, the dynamics of Thor and Loki's relationship takes a major shift and Sif sees herself being pushed out.<br/>And while all of this is happening, Thor is trying to figure out who burned down his house which was the catalyst for the threesome to start in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [火源 （FireStarter)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411397) by [EvchenKi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvchenKi/pseuds/EvchenKi)



> This is my first Thor/Loki and the first time I'm writing explicit scenes.  
> This is darker than any of my other works.  
> No beta. Reread for mistakes.

Thor watched as Loki moved at the speed of lightening around the kitchen muttering to himself. “Why am I always late?” He was asking himself. “I can never be on time.”

Thor sat on the counter watching him make breakfast for his wife wanting to ask, _why are you making her breakfast if you’re late?_ “Do you want me to plate it for you?” He eventually asked when Loki turned the fire off the eggs.

Loki whirled around to him. “Oh my goodness yes. I will be forever grateful to you.”

“For like five minutes.” Thor smiled taking the utensils out his slender hands.

Loki snorted ah he continued to gather his things, shoving files in his messenger bag. He hadn’t even had time to put his contacts in, he was wearing his square frames and his chin length hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail.

Loki was beautiful. He wasn’t the sort of man Thor usually found himself attracted to. Usually he liked the twink kind. He liked them thin, and feminine like. It appealed to his bisexuality. But Loki was all male. Shorter than Thor by just an inch with a broad back and lean body.

Sif came down, her night gown flowing behind her looking like an angel.

Thor knew better though. Loki was fooled into believing she was an angel but Thor saw her for what she was. It took a while. She was more passive with what Thor would call abuse. But it was there and when she wanted to, she had the power to reduce Loki to a pitiful state.

Loki adored his wife though and did everything he could to make her happy or at the very least content. Thor thought it was more than she deserved. “Hey my Love I have to go.” He said, green eyes sparkling as they always did when they gazed upon her.

“Did you plate my food?” What the first question she asked.

“Thor did it.” He answered grabbing a banana off the center of the table. For her, he cooked eggs, bacon and homemade waffles because Sif was too good for Eggos.

She grunted her displeasure. She liked being served by Loki. In that he agreed with Sif. If he had his way, Loki would be both their subs.

He leaned down to kiss her. “I love you.”

She took his kiss and kissed him back but she didn’t return the ‘I love you’. Thor didn’t think he’d ever heard her actually say it not in the year he’d lived with them. It was such a given that she wouldn’t say it, that Loki didn’t even stick around to see if she would. Instead, he walked over to Thor and kissed his cheek. “Have a good day.”

Thor smiled and watched him leave. Theirs was an odd relationship. Originally Thor moved into the home as a lover and Dom for Sif but all along he knew what he wanted. He wanted Loki. From the moment he first laid eyes on him Thor wanted him. The defiance in those green eyes and that mischievous smile that said he just behaved and if he hadn’t, then he was about to made Thor hunger to dominate him.

“He’s not gay.” She told him again, for the thousandth time.

Lately, it had been a recurring conversation and that’s really because lately, Loki had become much more comfortable with Thor around. Thor knew that hadn’t been part of her plans.

When Loki first approached him at The Avengers Club that Thor and Sif frequented, he did some investigating about the couple. Turned out, their marriage had always been open but they almost always had a woman as their third. The problem with that was eventually, at least according to the owner of The Avenger’s Tony, Sif had a problem with watching Loki with other people. She was possessive, apparently even with a man she no longer loved.

So she kicked the poor Domina to the curb and asked Loki for a male. Loki, being the obedient husband that he was found Thor and brought him home for his wife. Thanks to Loki’s past, Sif was safe in the knowledge that Loki would take no pleasure in Thor’s presence.

How silly. Straight men don’t kiss other men goodbye, unless maybe they were relatives. Loki wasn’t gay and he wasn’t straight. He was somewhere in between and Thor was going to bring that out of him. If only he could get Sif out the way.

“And even if he was.” She continued when Thor didn’t answer. “He isn’t a sub.”

There was another topic they disagreed on. It was true, Loki was not part of the scene. When he went to The Avengers he was an observer and appetizer eater. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have submissive qualities. Loki’s biggest submissive trait was his intense need to please everyone. It wasn’t easily seen with his sarcastic remarks and snide comments but Loki was gutted when he failed someone. Thor had seen it firsthand the first time he moved in.

But there was no time to dwell. He had to get ready for work as well. “You’re too hard on Loki.” He told her as he placed her food in front of her and started to grab a cup of coffee.

“You’re too soft with him.” She countered making Thor grimace.

Sif was not a full time sub, though she promoted herself to be. She didn’t even try to bend her will unless it was during sex which annoyed Thor a bit because though he didn’t expect a perfect sub, he expected a sub who tried.

“That’s a strike for arguing with me.” He told her making her pout. “I’m going to go get dressed for work.”

The three of them worked for the same police precinct but in different departments. Sif was a detective for Vice, Thor worked in Homicide and Loki worked with the Crime Scene Investigations unit. There were times that their worked over lapped, but more often than not, once they went their separate ways, they didn’t see each other again until that night.

Much to Thor’s delight, when he pushed open the bedroom door that night, Loki was already home and sitting on the bed looking through files. He was a bit disheveled, his white shirt untucked from his black work pants and his hair was pulled out of the pony tail covering his face as he quickly scribbled notes in his elegant handwriting.

“Hey there good looking.” Thor smiled closing the door behind him. “Did you have a good day?”

“Indeed I did.” Loki looked up, green eyes smiling. “My team made a huge discovery today in the Brown case.”

Thor had heard about the case on television and had a little inside information from Steve, the lead detective on the case. A man, Joe Brown, was found in the alley dead with his head bleeding and a broken bottle glass at his feet. Prints were impossible to pull form the bottle as it was left in tiny little pieces. It was the only evidence they had and they had no leads.

“What happened?” Thor asked pulling off his own winter coat and boats.

Loki kneeled up pushing his sleeves up his arms revealing old scars and fresh cuts on his fingers. That was disconcerting. “Ok, so I was looking at the bottle and recognized part of the label as a foreign beer. So I bought a bottle and made a mold of it and glued the broken pieces from evidence back together on the mold.

Thor tilted his head. “It worked?”

“It took Jane and me seven hours to put all those pieces together.” Which explained the new cuts. The old ones Thor knew were self-inflicted “And lifted a print.”

“What?” Thor was genuinely surprised. Everyone thought that case would go cold.

“And we ran the print and got a match. HIS WIFE!” Loki seemed genuinely excited about it.

Thor’s jaw slacked. “What? Steve said there was no way she was involved.”

“I know! She was all weepy and somber but she totally bashed his skull in. I even managed to pull DNA off the glass that matched Brown.”

“Oh I love it when you talk DNA to me.” Thor teased as he sauntered over to Loki and pushed him on his back. “Talk police tape to me next.”

Loki laughed allowing himself to be pushed down. “You’re such a freak Thor.”

“Talk to me about UV Lighting.” Thor covered Loki with his body noticing that Loki’s legs automatically opened to Thor’s hips. It took everything Thor had in him not to grind himself down on the lithe man underneath him.

Loki smiled up at him. “I bet you say that to all the forensic scientists.”

“No.” Thor sobered. “I only say that to you.” Yes he was coming on strong, but he didn’t know how long he had before Sif would come strolling in screaming about him not being gay. He had to be quick and to the point though every part of him wanted to seduce Loki not divide and conquer him.

The smile on Loki’s face withered away into almost a frown and for a moment Thor thought maybe he had gone too far or misread the man completely. But then, Loki took a breath and said in a voice so low Thor almost didn’t hear him. “Kiss me Thor.”

Thor’s mouth actually watered. His heart sped up to heart attack speed as he lowered his head. He could smell Loki now, like cinnamon, and he watched as Loki’s lashes lowered. “Thor.” He breathed again. He touched his lips to Loki’s but Loki suddenly jerked away causing a moment of confusion in Thor until he realized he heard Sif come home.

A playful smile flared on his face again as Sif pushed open the door. “Come get your boyfriend off me. He gets turned on by geeks.”

Thor watched Sif as she took a moment to take in the scene in front of her. For a moment, Thor thought she might have been turned on, but that thought quickly vanished as her blue eyes darkened in anger. “Unhand my husband please.” Her voice was tight. She was not pleased.

Thor released Loki who popped up from the bed. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Sif didn’t wait one minute after the door closed. “He isn’t gay.”

Thor smirked. “Sif, straight men don’t spread their legs and let a gay man slide between them.” He wouldn’t mention him asking for a kiss. No, that was for his ears alone.

“Loki maybe curious but he would never sleep with a man. Not after what his daddy did to him.”

Thor wasn’t too sure if Loki knew how easily Sif shared his secrets. It wasn’t long after he moved in that she told him Loki was abused as a child in every way someone could abuse a child and it led him to have severe issues as an adult. It didn’t take a psychiatrist to see something was off with Loki but he wasn’t sure if the other man would want the man sleeping with his wife to know some of the more intimate problems he had.

“What his daddy did him isn’t what I want to do him.” I informed her keeping his voice low and light. “Calm down Lady Sif, I wasn’t going to pop your boyfriend’s cherry.” Yes he was. Actually he was going to pop that cherry so hard Loki wouldn’t have been able to walk for a week. But he wasn’t going to tell her that. “I’m going to go cook.”

Normally, Loki cooked. Loki took care of all household chores and it wasn’t because he was omega male to Thor’s alpha. Loki wasn’t even a beta male. It took some research on google but he found the perfect description of Loki’s personality under the gamma male heading. In a nut shell, Loki was a social outcast, clingy to those he loved and manipulative when he needed to be. He had traits of alphas, omega and betas but he wasn’t truly any of them. He had the ability to masquerade as anything someone wanted.

And that was Thor’s dilemma. He was never sure what Loki actually wanted. His mind wandered back to the first night he came to the house while he started dinner. Sif was quick to sleep with him and Loki was quick to hide himself into a room. After screwing Sif into the mattress, Thor went in search of water when he came across the guest bedroom where a light was shining through a partially closed door. Since Loki really was the one he wanted in the first place, Thor figured he’d go in and try to screw him into the mattress as well but as he got closer to the door, he started hearing a slight sniffing. When he peaked in the room he realized Loki was crying.

Loki was standing by the window, looking out into the night, crying. Obviously, giving his wife to another man was not something that Loki wanted.

But then the next day Loki came down the stairs making the most obscene and sexual comments about being kept up all night by Sif’s constant moaning. “At least have the decency to shove her face in the pillow. Or gag her. Isn’t that what your type does? Can’t you just demand silence? What’s the point of giving you my wife is I have to stay up late listening to her anyway?” Was just some of the things Loki said while sipping his coffee and eating a donut.

And then a few months later came the almost hateful remarks that would spew out of Loki’s mouth like venom. “Did you really take the last of the creamer? It’s not enough that you fuck my wife but you have to take my creamer too?” Followed by an almost useless fact. “Did you know that creamer in tea tastes just as good as creamer in coffee?”

Sometimes Loki had Thor’s head spinning.

Then last month, all of a sudden Loki’s whole attitude towards him changed. Instead of yelling about creamer he was making Thor’s coffee and giving him kisses goodbye. For a little while Thor contemplated the fact that Loki might be trying to kill him. He did work in forensics, he’d know how to do it. But then he realized that the friendlier Loki was to him, the angrier Sif got at Thor and as a result, she would spend more time with Loki.

Now, Loki asked Thor to kiss him and Sif was nowhere around. In fact, when he heard her coming, he made sure to keep a distance and make a joke so that she wouldn’t suspect that Loki was giving special attention to Thor. Why would he do that if he just wanted to make her jealous?

Before he knew it, Thor had food cooked and he barely remembered cooking it. In front of him was fried chicken and potatoes. He hoped it tasted good because he didn’t even remember seasoning it.

He needed a shower. He needed to clear his head.

He walked back upstairs and wasn’t surprised at all to see Sif riding Loki while he laid flat on the bed. It wasn’t a sign of love but a sign of dominance. She wanted to prove that Loki was hers and hers alone.

Sif moaned. “Oh Thor. Come join us?”

Yeah right. “Let me shower first.” Thor tried to walk past the gasping couple without looking at Loki. The man didn’t have a football player physic or even a basketball player but he was so lean and pale. The things he wanted to do to skin.

Loki never made noise while having sex with Sif. Thor had made it one of his missions to make Loki scream with pleasure. To make him lose himself. To take Loki so far out of himself that there was no way Loki to could hide. He wanted to reveal what Loki really was.

He showered quickly and wasn’t surprised to see Sif sitting on the bed looking a bit put off and Loki fully dressed when he went back into the bedroom. More than likely, at the threat of having to actually have sex with Thor, Loki ended her fun early ensuring there would be no joining them after the shower.

That was alright though. Thor wasn’t as put off by Loki’s desire not to have sex with him as much as by Sif who wanted to flaunt that Loki was hers and always would be.

“I’m going to get some food.” Loki said now dressed in green pajama bottoms and a yellow t shirt. “It smells good.”

Thor watched Loki leave and turned to Sif. “I haven’t forgotten your punishment. I think tonight Loki should watch. Maybe this will introduce him to our world.” Thor could play her games too. Given the choice between submitting and dominating, Loki would choose the latter.

Her eyebrow arched recognizing what this was. “Loki isn’t going to sit by and watch you hit me with anything. Not after what he lived through.”

Thor snorted pulling on some night clothes. “You bring up his past a lot.”

“It has a lot to do with who he is today.” She answered quickly.

“I’m sure it does. But I’m also sure you are using it to your advantage. Are you afraid he’ll want to start whipping you? Or are you afraid he’ll start to want to be whipped?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” She answered confidently. “I don’t have any reason to be. Loki is all about me.”

“Maybe he’s getting tired of you not being all about him.” Thor countered. “Maybe he’d like someone who was all about him?”

Sif got from the bed, naked and livid. Angrily, she started pulling on clothes. “I don’t know what you hope to achieve here.”

Thor shrugged. “Nothing. I’m simply playing by the rules you set forth. I was not to touch Loki unless he initiated it.” She made that clause, Thor knew, because she was positive Loki would never initiate it. “I’m simply saying lets offer him the chance.”

She pushed past him and went downstairs to the kitchen. Thor followed behind her.

Loki was sitting at the table eating when Thor entered the kitchen. He had served them both and was more than half way done with his own food.

Thor sat across from Loki and watched as Sif slid into the seat next to her husband placing one lovingly hand on top of his idle one. “Sif and I had a disagreement.” Thor said before Sif could choose the dinner topic.

“Oh really?” Loki asked in a disinterested tone. “About what?”

“You actually.” Thor answered. “One of us thinks you should be present for Sif’s punishment tonight and one of thinks you shouldn’t be. What do you think?”

Loki looked up sharply, confusion knitting his eyebrows together. “Who thinks I should be and who thinks I shouldn’t?”

A typical Loki answer. “Doesn’t matter. She came off disrespectful and that deserves punishment. I’m asking you if you’d like to be present. There really isn’t a wrong answer.” That wasn’t entirely true. The wrong answer would be agreeing to be there. But he knew Sif wouldn’t hold this one against Loki, no, she’d hold it against Thor.

Thor watched as he tried to figure out what Sif would have wanted. He wanted to make her happy and for a moment Thor started to feel sorry for putting Loki in that position. But then something changed in the other man’s face and he stared hard into Thor’s eyes. “I want to see it.”

000

Sif was furious. No, she was beyond furious. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want Loki to see the punishment as much as she wanted to isolate him from it. It was something the he couldn’t give her and therefore she could get from someone else. As long as Loki failed her in some area, she didn’t need to be faithful to him.

She didn’t know what Thor was playing at. Perhaps he only wanted to place Loki into a submissive role and it really didn’t have anything to do with her. Only it did. Because Loki belonged to her.

They had other playmates and though at first Loki never would join in the fun, eventually, each one of them talked him into it. It boiled her blood to see someone else touching Loki even though, in a very real sense, she didn’t want him anymore.

Her love for Loki diminished long ago but she knew his love for her only grew stronger. Because that was the way Loki loved.

His love was suffocating and consuming. His love was unhealthy and at times scary. She knew that wasn’t really his fault. His sadistic step father enjoyed punishing Loki for the simple act of being born. Loki was a product of rape and his mother insisted on carrying the child full term. Unfortunately, that decision would kill her. While giving birth to Loki she died and her husband hated the very sight of Loki.

There was nothing Loki could do right in his eyes. Whether Loki was a good boy or a bad boy he was punished severely. It distorted Loki’s sense of love. Simply put he didn’t know how to love or how to be loved.

Instead, he sought to please. To pacify. To be someone’s everything always and when he’d fall short of that, he would do things out of character to bring contentment to the object of his affection. And that’s what Sif stood around for. She liked the idea of being obsessed over.

After dinner, Loki cleaned up and Thor called him upstairs. He had laid out all the implements of punishment that they’d agreed on when they contracted with each other. A variety of belts, whips and paddles laid out on the bed. He’d even taken out the canes but she figured it was more for Loki’s benefit. He was testing the other man, she knew, and she hoped with all her might that Loki failed that test.

Loki came in tentatively. She knew this would be hard for him. He worried tirelessly about turning into his father, either one of them really. It’s why she was able to get away with so much. Thor smiled, grabbing him by the hand and pulling Loki towards the bed.

“What should I use?” Thor had asked him, bringing Loki’s attention towards the implements of torture.

“Not the belts.” Sif wasn’t surprised by that. She knew it was his daddy’s favorite weapon. “What did she do anyway?”

“She talked back to me in a disrespectful tone.” Thor answered.

Loki gaped. “You can punish her for being disrespectful?”

“Yes.”

“Can you discipline her when she’s disrespectful to me?” Loki’s dark brow arched making Sif’s eyebrow follow suit.

Thro smiled. “We’d have to contract it.”

Sif opened her mouth to spit something disrespectful at them but then closed it again when she remembered she was there because of that disrespect anyway.

“You should punish her for the disrespect she was just about to show you.” Loki said. “You should add to her punishments.”

Thor chuckled. “No she stopped herself. If anything that deserves a reward.”

“This lifestyle has too many rules and I’m getting board. What are you going to hit her with?”

“That, I’m leaving up to you.”

Loki frowned. “How much punishment are you giving?”

“Just one stripe.” Thor told him.

“So then it should be something heavy. Something that carries a bite.” Loki decided. “But how I can tell what you should use? I don’t know what they feel like. What would you usually use?”

Thor frowned a bit. “A paddle.”

“Okay, so then I have to know what the paddles feel like.” He peeled down the side of his pajama bottom revealing a milky white thigh. “Lay one on me.”

Thor hesitated and Sif had to admit, she would have too. She hadn’t imagined Loki would actually consent to watching her get hit and she certainly hadn’t thought he’d want a test run before she got her comeuppance.

She watched as Thor collected himself and grabbed a starter paddle. The thing barely cause pain and it would take quite a bit of hits to redden the skin. She watched as Thor place a relatively hard smack to Loki’s exposed thigh. It was louder than anything else and Loki didn’t even flinch.

“That was nothing.” Loki complained. “Try another one.”

Again, Thor hesitated before choosing one that was a little heavier than the starter paddle. This one had some sting to it but it was bearable. Depending on how thinned skinned you were, you might get some pink on the skin.

Thor again, landed a blow slightly below the one he placed on Thor prior. Loki winced a bit but shook his head.

“These are not deterrent paddles. This is the kind of pain one might cum to. Come on, you have to have something there that would make her not want to back talk again.”

This time Thor didn’t hesitate, in fact, Sif noted that the bulge in his pants grew. He was enjoying this and was enjoying Loki enjoying the paddles.

He picked up a much heavier paddle. It was the largest paddle that Sif could take. It had a nasty bite and no matter how tough skinned you were, that thing was going to cause significant redness perhaps even welts or cuts.

He didn’t hesitate as he brought the paddle against the fleshiest skin Loki had exposed closer to one of his cheeks. Much to her surprise Loki didn’t cry out. In fact, his eyes rolled back as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. “That’s the one.” He moaned before he pulled his pants up. He jumped up to sit on top the dresser. “Hit her!” He shouted as he clapped in gleeful way.

Sif frowned. She had not thought Loki would take delight in this.

“Pull down your pants Puppet.” Sif liked that nickname. He only called her that and in truth, she really did like Thor. There was a short time that she contemplated leaving Loki for him. “Hands against the wall.

Thor had on his dominate voice which never failed to make her wet. She did as commanded and waited for the hit. She knew it was going to hurt, but she didn’t want to cry out. Normally, she had no problems being vocal. If anything, sometimes she exaggerated it because she knew it cut Loki deep to be unable to give her what Thor could. But tonight, she wanted to outdo him. If Loki could take the hit without crying out, then she wanted to as well.

The swat came at a moment that she was unprepared. She had no time to ready herself and she was dismayed to hear her own voice cry out in pain.

She heard Loki clapping behind her. “Yay! That was fun.”

Then she heard him jump off the dresser and leave closing the door behind him.

She was livid with herself for yelling out and she was even more upset when Thor took her from behind. It wasn’t because her submission had turned him on or even because she had taken the pain well. He took her from behind so he could imagine her black hair was Loki’s.

000

Loki looked in the mirror examining the cut in the full length mirror in the guest room. It really wasn’t a guest room any more, it was his. It was his hideaway when Thor and Sif wanted to play their games or have sex. Sometimes he’d sleep in the bed with them. He would spoon her and she would be holding Thor. But that was only when it didn’t burn him so bad to watch them sleeping together.

Loki hated Thor with a passion that was ridiculous. He was everything that he wasn’t. He was a constant reminder of his failure as Sif’s husband and yet at the same time, he longed to be the center of his attention.

He knew he’d lost Sif’s love. He wasn’t really sure when but he knew she wanted out. He vowed he’d do anything to keep her but it seemed the more he did for her, the farther away she became. He started to resent her. He started to blame her for his inability to love her right. But at the same time, if she’d just tell him one more time that she loved him, his resentment would wither away and his love for her would consume him again.

“Are you alright?” Loki started a bit at the sound of Thor’s smooth voice. It was hard to look at the man knowing that he’d just screwed his wife but it was equally hard to show just how much it hurt him.

“Yup.” Was his answer as he righted his pajama bottom. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Let me check you.” He said pushing himself into Loki’s room.

“There’s no need.” Loki informed him walked towards the bathroom. “I’ve nursed welts before.”

It was true, he had. He had nurse cuts worse than anything Thor could give out. He didn’t need Thor’s aftercare.

Much to his dismay, Thor followed him into the bathroom. “I didn’t ask you about your experience nursing welts. In fact I didn’t really ask you a question. To demonstrate his point, Thor pushed into Loki’s space. “I put the mark on you, therefore I check it.”

Loki hated every feeling this man invoked within him. Fear, hope, hatred and love all rolled into one nauseating punch in the gut. He lowered the pajama bottom again.

Thor ran a warm hand over the inflamed skin slowly while staring into Loki’s eyes. Loki could get lost in Thor’s blue gaze for hours. It took everything he had to will his erection away. How could he want the man that was actively taking his wife away?

“You have a small cut.” Thor said as he used his body to push Loki further into the bathroom and pulled his medicine cabinet open. He retrieved a small tube of ointment out. He squeezed out a small dab and rubbed it into Loki’s skin.

Loki stood still willing his body not to tremble at the man’s touch. Thor rubbed the ointment in longer than he really needed to but Loki didn’t call him on it.

“There.” He said. “All better.”

They stood there for a moment in the bathroom staring at each other before Loki took a step to leave the bathroom. Thor seized that moment to bring Loki closer to him. With a large hand on the small of Loki’s back he pressed them closer letting out a small sigh.

Loki didn’t physically fight Thor but he let his words come out in a venomous fashion when he felt Thor’s arousal through their pajama pants. “What? Did fucking my wife not satisfy you?”

“I would have fucked you had you stayed.” Thor’s quick response left Loki momentarily speechless. “Don’t worry Kitten. I’ll be gentle with you.” Thor said before adding. “At first.”

Despite himself, Loki let out a whimper so low he thought maybe Thor hadn’t heard it.

But then Thor smiled and said. “Good boy.” Before claiming his lips in a passionate kiss.

Loki kissed him back with just as much passion forcing his tongue into Thor’s willing mouth and biting his lip. He clamped down so hard on Thor’s bottom lip causing the man to recoil harshly, his bottom lip bleeding.

Thor arched a blonde brow. “Bad boy.” He said before roughly pushing Loki against the wall so hard it knocked the wind out of him. Thor took that opportunity to use his knee to spread Loki’s legs. He sharply brought his knee to Loki’s groin eliciting a moan out of the other man.

“Hush now Kitten. We don’t want your purring to waking up the Puppet.”

Loki tried to get himself together. He tried figure out a way to regain the upper hand but the insistent pain in his testicles was making it hard to think.

“See I figured you out Loki.” Thor was whispering in Loki’s ear. Sif complains about how hard it is to get you to come when you fuck her. She hates that she can’t get you off and blames your daddy and his buddies for that one.”

Despite the pain it caused, Loki tried to push Thor off him suddenly raging. How dare she tell him about that? How dare she share something so intimate, something that hurt him so much to give Thor the ammunition he needed to knock him off his feet?

Thor gripped Loki’s hair, putting weight on his shoulder and forcing him harder on his knee. The increased pain stilled him. “But I know the truth Loki. You can’t cum because you don’t need someone to coax out your orgasm. You don’t want someone to loving you bring you there. No, you want it demanded from you. You want it forced from you. For all the romance and love you want, you need a stronger hand to take the choice from you.”

Loki gasped trying to deny it. But to his utter horror, he felt his balls tense and the tingling in his spine. He was going to cum. For the first time in three months he was going to cum and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. It was as if his body betrayed him as his back arched, his eyes slid shut and the first wave crashed. A long groan left his mouth as Thor’s hand covered his lips to muffle the sound. It seemed to last forever. Each contraction brought his body under an assault of pleasure. He had no control over it and was helpless to stop it.

He finally sagged thankful that Thor removed his knee.

Thor placed a peck on his forehead. “Good boy.” He said before adding. “There is one more thing we have to discuss.” He roughly pushed his hands into Loki’s pants pulling Loki’s foreskin back and squeezing the head of Loki’s sensitive cock.

Loki gasped out a horrified as his hands gripped around Thor’s wrists.

“You don’t bite me kitten do you understand?” Thor’s grip was tight as he rapid squeezed Loki.

Loki seized and thrashed but was able to get a weak, “Fuck you.”

Thor smiled at Loki’s fight as he increased the pressure. Loki arched, almost completely as another powerful orgasm ripped through him. This time he was eerily silent and completely shocked as his treacherous body spasmed without his consent.

His sensitivity heightened as Thor continued to ruthlessly stroke him.

“It only gets worse Kitten.” Thor promised. “Say sorry and I’ll make it stop.”

Loki tried to take it but only one full second passed before he was gasping out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

The torture immediately stopped. Loki tried to catch his breath as watched Thor bring one semen soaked out of Loki’s pants and into his own. He could fell Thor stroking his impressive length but made no move too exhausted to do anything more.

Thor didn’t seem to care though as he it took him only a few tugs to cum. He trembled but made no noise until it was over. Then he took his hand, pushed it back into Loki’s pants but instead of moving over his cock, Thor slid his fingers between Loki’s cheeks.

As if he was being electrocuted Loki moved to get away from the finger while whimpering. “No, Thor no.”

Thor’s gripped Loki’s hip stilling him. “Shh shh shh.” He said. “Calm down Kitten.”

It took Loki a moment to realize that he was just rubbing his anus and not penetrating it.

“When I take you here,” Thor said. “It won’t be up against the wall. It will be in your bed, not the bed you share with Sif, because we both know you find no pleasure there. No it will be the bed in here, in this sanctuary you built for yourself. And I will show you how much pleasure your body could take.” Thor gave Loki a thorough kiss. “Now this is what you’re going to do. You have three minutes to shower and one minute to get into bed. You are going to set your damn alarm for an hour earlier, your tardiness really is unacceptable, and you’re going to lay in that bed. I’m going to wait exactly 4 minutes and then I’m going to fuck your wife in her ass, and pull on her black hair imagining it’s you I’m pounding into and you’re going to listen to it as you usually do. But this time, you are going to know that she is a pale substitute for what I really want. When I’m finished you’re going to sleep. Do you understand?”

Oh how Loki wanted to say no. Tell him go hang himself. But he only nodded.

“No Kitten. I want words. Say ‘yes Thor’.”

Loki trembled still sensitive everywhere. “Yes Thor.”

Thor claimed his lips harshly and this time, Loki kept his lips pliant and open. Thor groaned. “Very good. Good night Loki.”

Loki watched Thor leave and despite himself he hurried to follow Thor’s orders. He took exactly three minutes to shower and 1 to put on fresh pajamas and set his alarm, but then stopped. He looked at his bed and at his clock, everything in him telling him to rebel. He didn’t have to listen to anything Thor said. He didn’t have to be in bed in exactly four minutes if he didn’t want to.

How would Thor know anyway? And even if he did, who cared? He wanted Thor to know he wouldn’t get in the bed. He wouldn’t follow his stupid instructions and took no pleasure in pleasing him.

The sound of his phone vibrating startled Loki. He picked it up and opened the text message. It was from Thor. “Get in the fucking bed!” It read.

Loki’s eyes widened. How did he know? He put his phone down without answering and slid between the covers of the bed. As soon as he did he heard Sif moan and his heart fluttered. He wasn’t thinking about how he wanted to be the one causing his wife such pleasure. Instead he was thinking how he wished he was the one able to accept such pleasure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the bathroom scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta, but I reread it.  
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos!

Thor stood in the shower, hot water cascading down his body as he tried to figure out at what point last night he lost control. Somewhere between the second and third paddle, he knew Thor knew he had to taste Loki before the end of the night.

But this wasn’t just any other person that ignited his passion. This was a man raised with men bulling and hurting him. He was used to men forcing him and now his name was on a disturbingly long list of men who had taken advantage of him. He might have just ruined any chance he had of actually creating something beautiful with Loki.

Loki only asked for a kiss. And yet Thor had taken much more.

He turned off the water, grabbed a towel and walked out the bathroom. Sif was still sleeping and probably would be for another hour and half. He could hear Loki fumbling in the kitchen to start cooking.

Despite being a bit disgusted with himself, it aroused him to know Loki had followed his orders and woken up an hour earlier this morning.

Thor threw on his clothes and steeled himself for whatever Loki was going say. He deserved it and would take it and he would try to salvage what he could of their already rocky relationship. He would take whatever rage, pain or feeling of betrayal that Loki harbored towards him and be that rock that he didn’t think Loki ever had.

When he made it to the kitchen, he saw Loki filling up the coffee pot with water, staring off in his own thoughts. The coffee pot already over filling and spilling out onto Loki’s slender pale hand but the man didn’t seem to notice. He took a steadying breath before calling to the other man softly. “Loki?”

Loki jumped a bit, crashing back down to earth and realizing water was running out the coffee pot. “Shit!” He cussed turning off the water. “You’re up early.”

“I wanted us to talk.” Thor walked into the kitchen and slide himself on to the counter across from the sink watching as Loki poured out a bit of the overflowing water from the coffee pot and resumed with his normal tasks.

“So then talk.” Short and clipped a sign he really didn’t want to talk Thor.

“I wanted to apologize.” Thor started but Loki turned around so harshly it made his words cut off.

“Apologize?” Loki questioned, green eyes fierce and angry. “Apologize for what exactly? Apologize for forcing me into the bathroom? Or maybe for crushing my balls? Or was the torturous hand job? Oh now I know, you want to apologize for spreading your semen over my anus as if you had to mark your territory?”

Thor blinked a few times thinking over his options. He could lie and say he was sorry for all those things but he knew he wasn’t. He had to check if he’d broken the skin after the paddling. Any good Dom would. And as much as he hadn’t wanted to cause Loki serious pain, he wouldn’t apologize for bringing Loki to climax twice. No, he should be honest with Loki. He deserved that at the very least. “None of that actually.”

Loki’s face actually darkened to an unnatural shade of red as his eyes seemed to narrow into slits.

Quickly, before Loki decided to just throw a punch at him he added. “I’m sorry for not giving you a choice about it though.”

That seemed to pacify Loki some. At least that horrible red color drained from his face.

“Loki, I… I should have told you this a long time ago. I should have told you the truth.”

Curiosity is one of Loki’s biggest weaknesses. There was less anger radiating off him and more of a questionable regard. “About what?”

“Why I accepted the proposal you offered. It wasn’t for Sif. It was for you.” There that was simple enough. No need to sugar coat it.

All anger now left Loki’s stance and a guarded looked came up.

“Loki, I wanted you, not Sif. From the moment I saw you come into the Precinct. You were wearing that emerald green button down shirt over those black pants that look tailor made. You had your hair tied up with a yellow hair tie and you were stunning.” He remembered that day so vividly. He was actually looking forward to going to homicide crime scenes hoping Loki would be the investigator there so they’d have a reason to talk. “When I found out you were married I was gutted. But then my house burned down and not even 24 hours later you walk up to me at the club telling me about Sif and all I could think was that it would be the only opportunity I’d ever have to get you. And if that meant sharing you, then so be it.”

A sudden look of panic spread across Loki’s features before he turned back around and started cracking eggs for Sif’s breakfast. When he turned back around, the guarded look had returned before his dark brows knitted together in confusion. “What?”

Thor smiled at Loki’s obvious confusion about being wanted. “Loki, I’m here for you, not Sif. It was never Sif. It was always you.”

For one whole minute Loki scrambled eggs while slightly hyperventilating. Thor waited to see if Loki could get himself together, but as he plated the eggs Thor saw those slender fingers trembling. That prompted Thor to jump off the table, pull Loki away from stove and turn him around. “Settle down now Kitten.”

“Oh gees, what’s with the Kitten thing? I hate that.” Good, the anxiety was receding and the anger was returning. Thor could work with anger.

Thor smiled a bit. “Then retract your claws sometimes.” That seemed to work. The shaking and hyperventilating stopped as that annoyed look took its place. “Listen, I’ll give you three options ok? First one, I leave. I tell Sif I want out of the contract I have with her and you never see me again. The second, I help you win her heart back. I’ll give you all the tools you need to keep her faithful. I’ll let you use me to make her love you again and then I’ll leave. Or, we examine what we are. The same way I examined what Sif and I were. It’s separate from anything you two have together. I’ll teach you my tastes and we’ll discover yours and see where it goes. But it has to be your decision Loki. I won’t take that choice from you again. I will not touch you until you ask for it and I will not leave unless you tell me to.”

Thor watched a strange array of emotions pass through Loki’s face. Fear, disbelief, anger and something else that Thor couldn’t quiet place before his eyes hardened. “Sif will be up soon. I have to finish her breakfast.”

Thor nodded and left it at that.

000

Sif couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something off about Loki. He was subdued and aloof and though at any given time he was aloof he was almost never subdued. All attempts to pull information from him failed as he kept giving vague, clipped answers.

But she wasn’t stupid. Thor was a virile man but there was no way he could have taken her twice in that short of space and produce that much scum. No, something happened with Loki after she went to sleep the first time and odds were, Thor couldn’t finish with him and so used her to do it.

That was twice in the same night she was used as a Loki stand in. And she was pissed about it. Loki was supposed to be the baggage, the third wheel, no her.

She waited until Loki was dressed, ready on time for the first time ever, and leaned in for a kiss before expressing her displeasure by dodging his kiss and silently getting up and walking out.

As expected, Loki followed behind her, concern written all over his face. “What’s wrong?” He asked as they reached the bedroom

“Isn’t that what I’ve been asking you all morning?” She threw back at him watching a slow panic building in him. “It seems you think it’s alright to keep secrets from me Loki. Something happened between you and Thor last night.”

Loki gaped for a moment before he was able to answer. “Sif… it was nothing really.” Right, nothing. That’s what happened to make him so contemplative and quiet.

She turned around sharply knowing her back to him would hurt and disorient him better than any of her words could.

As expected he quickly changed his tone. “Ok, alright, we kissed. He… I… it wasn’t planned. It wasn’t like it meant anything.”

She had two choices now. She could turn around and give him a hug, kiss him and tell him not to do it again, but that wouldn’t put Loki back in his place. No, she had to make it sting and there was no better to do it than by giving him nothing to fight against.

After a few moments of pulling out her clothes, she knew he was waiting for her response. Waiting for her forgiveness. When none came he walked a little closer to her. “Sif?” She could hear his breathing start to quicken and the quiver in his voice. “Please talk to me.”

This is what she liked about her relationship with Loki. She could reduce him so easily. She could leave him, find someone else that she actually loved but then she wouldn’t get the many perks that came with being married to a man with no self-esteem.

So she walked out the bedroom, into the bathroom and closed the door knowing he was standing on the outside of the door on the verge of tears wondering if he should go in and make things right or give her space because her rejection would hurt him too much.

He choose to leave.

But she knew she’d be on his mind all day.

000

Loki had barely been able to concentrate on work all day. His brain felt foggy, his body heavy and it didn’t help that he had a distant ache in his testicles thanks to Thor’s ridiculously firm knee.

By three he called it quits and told his boss he was ill and taking the rest of the day off.

In truth he felt like he was being torn in half.

Thor’s confession this morning had already left him unnerved and then Sif’s intense anger toppled him over. Why was it that he could never find peace? It’s not like he actually did anything. But then, with further contemplation, he realized exactly what he did wrong.

He agreed to watch Sif be disciplined. The world Sif and Thor shared their relationship in Loki had always worked hard to stay out of. He had resigned himself to the fact that what Sif needed and what turned Thor on was something he could never take part in. And the question was brought to him and he saw a chance to be something significant to them. He figured he’d either make Sif happy by trying to understand her need to be dominated or make Thor notice him. He was fine with either one.

It was safe to say Thor noticed him. And if everything Thor said was true, he had noticed him a long time ago.

He wanted to believe Thor. He wanted to believe that he could be wanted so much by someone so amazingly perfect. But what were the odds? Could he trust that? And wouldn’t that destroy everything that he was trying to salvage with Sif.

Should he even try to salvage anything with her? She wasn’t a liar. She was honest about her feelings. She wasn’t in love with him anymore and hadn’t been for years. She had given him an option of filing for divorce or allowing her indiscretions outside the marriage. He couldn’t think of his life without her. He couldn’t imagine living a life so empty. Sif was all he had. He had no family, no real friends. If Sif left him then he was losing everything.

But what if Thor could give him what he needed to get back her love? What if he could give her all those things that she sought others for? Did he want to?

He liked what Thor did to him. He liked being so wanted that he was almost needed. He didn’t really have a desire to dominate Sif, not when she very much ruled him. It wouldn’t be genuine and that would shine through. He would fail and if he sent Thor away, he’d have to worry about the next person that would take her interest and possible move him out his own marriage.

He found himself in front of a coffee shop and suddenly wanted a lemon iced muffin more than he wanted air.

He walked in, enjoying the heat of the café and the smell of baked goods layered with coffee beans. He ordered a mocha coffee and his muffin and took a seat in the farthest, most isolated corner in the place. For a few moments, he was able to relax and enjoy his treat, but so slowly the tension was resuming in his shoulders. The less of the muffin he had left, the closer he got to having to go home. He’d have to find a way to pacify Sif while trying to stay completely neutral in front of Thor, who less than 24 hours ago hemmed him up in the bathroom and forced two orgasms from him like he was a 16 year old child.

Bastard.

He should give him a piece of his mind.

He took out his IPhone, and dialed Thor’s number. He intentionally dialed the number to fuss and complain but as soon as Thor answered, Loki froze.

Bastard.

He took a breath. “Thor?”

“Loki? I didn’t even know you knew my number.” He said. “Are you alright?”

Was he alright? Was that a joke? “How soon can you get out of work?”

“I can leave right now if you need me.”

If he needs him? Why does he have to frame everything like it was Loki’s choice? “I’m at a coffee shop on 5th. Can you meet me here?”

“Of course. I’m on my way.”

Of course he was. Why couldn’t he disappoint him so he could hate him again?

He was there remarkably fast and looking apprehensive.

Good.

Bastard.

Let him feel nervous and worried because that was Loki’s natural state every day. He wanted someone else to feel what it was like to feel as if he was perpetually standing on a cliff and was about to shoved off.

“Hey Loki. Are you alright?” He asked pulling off his coat and sliding in the chair across from Loki.

Loki nodded his response but said nothing else because in the last fifteen minutes, he lost all his bravado. He raging anger was gone and what replaced it was something two shades away from hope.

When he said nothing for what felt like fifteen minutes, Thor asked. “Have you an answer?”

For whatever reason that sparked his anger again and he couldn’t stop angry words from spewing out his mouth. “I hated you Thor.” He said, eyes shooting daggers. “I hated you. You came into my house with your blonde hair, tanned skin and wife beaters making my wife swoon every time you entered a room like you were some hero off a romance novel cover. I hated everything about you. I hated that you worked out four times a week. I hated that you have perfect vision, and no allergies. I hated that you are so very adored by everyone like you are the freaking rising sun. And then I hated that you were everything I wasn’t. Looking at you is like looking at everything I’m not and would never be. And then you come barging into my bedroom, forcing me to swoon over you like Sif does and making me forget that your very existence is a threat to me. Now you tell me you only had eyes for me and all this other romantic crap and all I can think is how this man, with all his glory and charm possibly see me and see something worth having? You know what that means Thor? You’re an idiot.”

Thor laughed at Loki’s monologue though he visibly tried not to. He probably shouldn’t have though because that made Loki even angrier. He was not in the mood to be ridiculed.

“Are you aware that I ruin everything I touch?” Loki told him in a light tone as if he hadn’t said something completely self-deprecating. “You know Sif was actually a nice person at one time.”

Thor snorted. “I doubt it.”

“She was.” Loki insisted. “I turned her into what she is.”

“No Loki. She was always a horrible person. You just didn’t notice it because in your eyes everything she does is right.” Thor corrected. “But we’re not here for Sif. At least I’m not. So let’s get back to the important parts of your speech. You started with ‘I hated you” which means you don’t any more. It’s nice to know you find me attractive, and I can assure you my mother has read many novels with main characters that look very much like you. And if you’re telling me that you think you are a setting sun in comparison to my rising one then I can assure you that is only your opinion of you. I look at you and see someone so intensely beautiful and chaotically attractive that it’s impossible not to be fascinated by you. If that makes me an idiot, then so be it.”

“STOP IT!” Loki screamed in a hushed whisper. “Stop saying all the right things at all the right times.”

Thor laughed again. “Loki, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Loki leaned back deflated.

Thor reached across the table and moved the rest of Loki’s mocha and muffin to his side before he started eating it. They sat in silence for a few moments before Loki jerk up to attention in his seat. “And another thing,”

Thor smiled and waited for the next monologue of nonsense.

“I’m not submissive.”

Thor nodded. “You have submissive qualities.”

“You cannot give me rules and tell me not to break them. I’m going to break them. And if you want me break them, then I won’t because it’s in my nature. I will embarrass you at all your club parties. There is no way I’m kneeling down at your feet, or calling you Master or any of the stupid things you make Sif do. I will be beaten so often your arm with be more sore than my butt.”

Thor nodded. “Everything you said is true. You will break the rules and you will fight against every instruction laid out. But just like you did last night, you’ll follow some of them before you could stop yourself and when you get stuck, I’ll be there to guide you.”

Loki’s face became insanely hot. Rage boiled in his stomach so intense it made his jaw clench. “WHY? Why do you have to have an answer for everything? Why can’t you just…”

“Put my feeling’s in Sif’s body?” Thor interjected.

Loki deflated again.

“I’m sure it’s easier to be loved by a female.”

It really would. Whatever Thor saw in him, he wished Sif would see. “How do you know all that stuff that happened to me anyway?”

“Sif likes to talk about it.” Thor admitted.

Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’s very arousing conversation.” It bothered him that Loki knew so much about him. He would never have told Thor about those things and with good reason. He would never want a man to have that much power over him again.

“It might arouse her, I’m not sure. But it doesn’t arouse me. Except it inspires me to show you that what was done to you isn’t what I’ll do to you. It will feel very different. You will like it.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed at the promise. “You are talking like I said yes already.”

“Loki if you weren’t interested, you wouldn’t be trying so hard to convince me you suck. We’ll start off with a two week contract. We don’t have to involve sex. We’ll keep it basic.”

Damn right they wouldn’t be involving sex. “What’s basic?”

“You eat three solid meals a day at specified times. You go to work on time every day. You sleep and wake up at specified times.” Thor rattled off as if he already had a list of things he wanted Loki to work on. That certainly sounded like he had been waiting for Loki all this time if he thought so much about this.

Three rules. That was all it was. Three simple rules and it made Loki think of every possible way he could break them. “Alright. Then here are my terms. You can’t touch me. Not one touch unless I initiate it. That extends to your implements of torture as well. No belts, whips, canes, paddles, brushes, towels, nothing.”

“Towels?” Thor frowned.

“Don’t ask.” Loki muttered.

Loki watched as Thor sat back with an amused sparkle in his blue eyes. “Alright. But I want to add a rule. No swearing.”

Loki shrugged. What was the point on resisting rules Thor had no way to implement? Right there in the café, Thor drafted a contract on a napkin and they both signed it. If nothing else it would be fun just to annoy Thor for two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks of Loki breaking rules and Thor reigning him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no beta  
> Thanks for your comments and kudos!

Sif was not happy, Thor could tell. If he had his way, he wouldn’t have even told her about the developments in their relationship but Loki insisted on not keeping secrets from her. So he sat there at the kitchen table watching her give Loki the evil death eye as Loki stared down at the table looking like a scolded child.

“I don’t really understand what the problem is Sif.” Thor said eventually trying not to sound as upset as he was. He didn’t want Loki to feel like his sudden interest in following contracts was causing everyone displeasure in one way or another. “Everything on the contract is for his betterment wouldn’t you say?”

Sif glared at him as if he’d slapped her. “Betterment?”

“Yes.” Thor was sticking to his guns. He wanted this. She was not going to ruin it. “Three full meals, on time for work, proper English. I can’t see how that offends you. And the punishments are something you’d see in a domestic discipline relationship. Nothing involves sex. So what exactly is your argument against this?”

She didn’t have one Thor knew. She simply didn’t like the idea of sharing this world with Loki but she would have to tell them why if she wanted Thor to back off. She would have to admit that she’d been actively making Loki miserable.

“I’m not necessarily against it.” She lied, Thor knew. “I just don’t understand his reasoning for wanting a contract all of a sudden.” She stated tightly returning her evil death glare at Loki. “He isn’t into the scene.”

Thor waited to see if Loki would answer her, but he didn’t so Thor did it for him. “He still isn’t into the scene. He’s into trying something new.” He made it sound like something light, with little meaning, but it was exact opposite. This bit of trust Loki just extended meant the world to Thor.

“Something new?” She repeated before going quiet and looking Loki over in a more contemplative stare than a ridiculing one. After a few moments she nodded. “Alright.”

Loki looked up surprised. “Alright?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “It’ll be fun.”

Loki looked relieved but Thor wasn’t. No part of him believed Sif was actually alright with this arrangement. But he didn’t say anything about it letting Loki take the lie as a reassurance. He knew Loki needed all the reassurances he could get.

Despite things settling in the house that night, Loki still opted to sleep in the guest room. Thor had wanted him close but he hadn’t wanted to push either. He had done enough of that and he wasn’t sure how much Loki could actually take.

Thor was too excited to sleep anyway. It was ridiculous that he was this excited to dominate a man he wasn’t even going to sleep with. It was just the idea that Loki was willing to try to submit to a man. After everything he’d been through, Loki was trusting him when he really had no reason to. Sure Loki had heard him and Sif play a few times but that was no guarantee that he never went too far. As far as Thor knew, Loki didn’t even know what was in their contract.

It was making him unbelievably hard though.

He didn’t want Sif to feel it. He didn’t want to give it Sif. This erection was for Loki and Loki alone. He would suffer with it as a reminder of the tension Loki must be feeling with submitting to him. So he rolled over, his back to her and let his mind wonder over the contract he signed.

Thor liked a challenge. He knew he would be using corner time and treat deprivation as punishments, though neither was really a deterrent. It just made sense to start as basic as possible. He didn’t want to scare Loki and he didn’t want to put him in a situation that would possible cause a flash back of sorts. Though he knew of Loki’s past, he didn’t have all the details. He was lucky his little bathroom scene didn’t cause any damage. He wasn’t going to push his luck.

Thor’s thoughts of a deterrent led to a solution the next morning when Loki dropped his phone and decide to yell a series of obscenities at it before bending down to pick it up. With reflexes that years as a police detective had toned, Thor whipped a spray bottle out and sprayed Loki in the face.

The look of utter shock and rage on Loki’s face made it all the sweeter. “Did you. Just spray. Me in the face. With a water bottle?”

The question was asked with so many breaks in it Thor actually had to take a moment to piece it together. “That’s what happens to bad kitties who use bad language.”

The twitch in Loki’s eye put a wider smile on Thor’s face and the harsh “Fuck you!” that followed was washed out Loki’s mouth mid fuck with another spray.

“Are you serious?” Loki asked. “You are going to spray me in the face with water bottles for cussing?”

“I’m not touching you.” Thor said. “Now hurry up you don’t want to be late. That would result in no cake later.”

Loki opened his mouth, probably to curse, but then thought better of it. He left in a huff giving neither Sif nor Thor a kiss goodbye. Kitten was not pleased.

Sif took Loki’s place in the kitchen packing her things for work. “The only reason why I’m allowing this is because I know how Loki’s love escalates. In two weeks, he’ll be calling you and texting constantly.”

“Really?” That didn’t surprise Thor. Nothing Loki did was healthy. Loving made one vulnerable and required physical affirmations of it as well as verbal. Loki would crave that constantly because whether he had reason or not, he’d always feel like he was losing his grip on it.

“Yes. I get ten called from him a day. He’s obsessive.” Sif said with confidence. “At first it’s cute. But then it gets overwhelming.”

Thor thought about it for a moment, really letting her words seep in. That was definitely something that would have to be worked on, but that wasn’t a reason to abandon him. “Perhaps his love just has to be channeled in a healthy way. Sounds like a trust issue, or fear of abandonment. Has he ever been in counseling?”

For some reason that seemed to enrage Sif. She threw her bag down to the floor, her face contorting in rage. “You think a little spray bottle and corner time is going to make a difference. Loki doesn’t know his head from his ass.”

Thor shot up from his seat, grabbing Sif by her thin arm and pulling her close. “That’s one swat for cussing. And seriously, you could be describing any number of slaves who are in search of a master.”

Now it was Sif’s turn to storm out the house without giving Thro a kiss.

Puppet was not pleased either.

Thor managed to make both his subs angry less than 5 minutes apart. This was going to be fun.

He figured he might as well get himself ready for work too seeing as he had ran out of people to annoy. Before he could, his cell phone rang. He snatched it up seeing that it was Fury, the lead investigator looking into the burning of his house. “Hey Fury.”

“Thor! I’m glad I got you. The fire marshal finally declared that your fire wasn’t accidental.” Thor didn’t really think it was an accident anyway. The fire was very contained, neither of his neighbors suffered any fire damage. “By the way. Loki is our prime suspect.”

Thor laughed. It was an ongoing joke in the precinct that Loki set Thor’s house on fire. The day after it happened, before anyone Thor worked with even knew about the fire, Loki waltzed up to Thor, devilish smile on his face and said, “Hey need a place to stay?”

It was creepy and everyone started joking that someone who worked in forensics would know how to set a fire and not get caught. From that, it became Loki being the prime suspect. It was that night that Loki approached him at the club.

“You know before I started living with him, I would never have thought that. Now however…” Thor left that open making Fury laugh.

Everyone knew Thor was staying at Loki and Sif’s house but no one actually knew about the arrangement.

“Well listen,” Fury said. “The next time I get news, I’ll let you know.”

Thor thanked him and hung up.

Well it was shaping up to be a crazy day.

000

A few days had passed and Sif was surprised that Loki was still going through with it. He had spent almost an hour every night in the corner and was sprayed in face almost constantly but he seemed to be actually having fun.

He had his contract amended that Thor had to buy him conditioner for his hair since the constant spritz was making his hair frizz. Thor actually accepted this and bought him a very expensive brand.

Just because he’s a jerk, Loki poured half down the drain just so Thor would have to buy him another one quicker. Loki was like that. He was always pushing limits and trying someone’s patience. She was banking on that to eventually grind on Thor’s nerves.

Loki was smiling more and she noticed he wasn’t working from home at night much, opting instead to watching Football with Thor and randomly shouting out curse words. He didn’t even like football.

The biggest surprise came last night, when Loki actually slept in their bed and slept the entire night. There was none of his usual tossing and turning or getting up for two hours during the night to pace the floor.

Surprisingly, he was on her mind all day. It hadn’t been like that since they first got married.

At lunch time, she walked up to the forensic offices where Loki was standing in his lab coat, holding a vile of what looked like blood. “Hey sexy.” Loki really was attractive. It was another reason she stood around. There was some pride in her when women turned their heads at him while he was holding her hand.

Loki looked up at her and she noticed for a moment, he didn’t even seem like he recognized her. “Sif!” He said when recognition seemed to have dawned on him. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to go to lunch.” She said. “I mean you are supposed to be eating three meals a day.”

A wide smile spread over his lips at the mention of his contract. “Yeah, ok. Let me clean up.”

It took less than five minutes to be in his normal clothes and he followed her to a diner across from the precinct that gave all the cops discounted meals. He ordered a meat loaf with mashed potatoes and broccoli, a meal he never would have ordered if not for Thor’s explicit diet he laid out for him.

When the food came, he took out his phone and took a picture of it and sent it to Thor as he had to do every time he ate without Thor around. After he sent it, he looked up at her. “What are you working on?” He asked.

“A sex trafficking ring.” She answered. “And it seems like it might have spread over state lines.”

Loki’s brows shot up. “What? What…” Whatever he was going to say was interrupted when his phone rang, He picked it up and smiled. He took a moment to think before quickly typing something back. “What are you going to do? Are you going to join forces with other agencies?”

Sif nodded though her thoughts were lingering on what Thor could have responded to a picture of food that made Loki look so giddy. “We might have to.”

“What other states are we talking?” He asked further.

“California, Nevada, possibly…” She was cut off by his ringing phone again.

He looked at, a blush creeping up on his cheeks as he smiled.

“What does it say?” She asked.

He had typed something in and sent it out before putting his phone down. “Nothing. Go on…”

“No. Show me your phone.” She demanded now getting more upset by each hesitated moment. What could Thor have said that made him blush? Especially about food.

Eventually he handed the phone to her.

She unlocked it, he knew better than putting a password on it. After Loki sent the picture, Thor responded “good boy” with a kissy emoji. Loki responded, “I’ve gained three pounds because of you.” Thor’s response was, “Good. I like my man to have a little meat on his bones.”

Sif fumed. Was Loki his man? Because the ring on her finger proved Loki was actually her man.

And what was Loki’s response? “Yeah? I thought you liked twinks.”

Thor had not responded yet and she really didn’t want to see it. “You’re not gay.” She felt the need to remind him of that because lately he been acting very much like a gay man. Not that he sudden had feminine mannerisms, but he was certainly acting like a woman being pursued by a man.

He rolled his eyes. “Give me a break Sif. You act like something huge happened. Our dynamics haven’t changed. I still give Thor the same problems I did before the contract. He still spends just as much time with you as before. Why does the addition of a contract change anything?”

His phone rang again make her squeeze the device in her hand. Is this what they’d do all day? Text each other kissy icons? She looked at it. “He wants to know how you know what his tastes are.” She looked at him with one angry black eyebrow raised. “How do you know?”

His eyes narrowed a sudden rage causing his green eyes to darken to almost a brownish hue. “Don’t you remember sweetheart? You used to tell me all about him after he worked you over while I had you bent over the chair, the bed, the stove. What did you tell me when he agreed to move in, ‘Don’t worry Loki he likes twinks’.” He snatched his phone back. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

She watched him leave remembering that night thoroughly. He was trying everything he could to change her mind about Thor moving in, but she stuck to her guns. “If you love me so much,” She told him. “Then you’d give me this. And seriously Loki, if you don’t like it, you can always leave.”

He didn’t leave. He sighed and resigned himself. It made her wet just thinking about it.

She pulled out her phone and took a picture of Loki’s uneaten food before sending it to Thor with a message. “He didn’t eat it all.”

She’d enjoy eating ice cream tonight while Loki was on punishment.

000

Loki hadn’t been one hundred percent honest when he told Sif she was the one who told him about Thor’s preferences. The truth was, he already knew.

For months before he even approached Thor regarding a threesome, he had been following Thor around. He had to be sure he was perfect for Sif. He asked around to see if there were any complaints about him being too rough, or too strict. He wanted to know if he played safe and if he could be monogamous.

Through his research he had found out about a boy, because really that’s what he looked like, who was infatuated with Thor from another club named Hydra.

At least that was a better club name than the Avengers.

It hadn’t been a very serious relationship, but the boy hadn’t wanted it to end and Thor had just been accepted to The Avengers so he left Hydra and the boy alone.

But he would never tell Sif that and he definitely would never tell Thor.

If he wasn’t having so much fun messing with Thor, he probably would have ended the contract to appease his wife. But it was so amusing to find ways around the rules. It gave him something else to think about besides the normal chaos that clouded his mind.

He started with the whole getting to work on time thing. “I don’t know what happened Thor. I think my phone is acting up. The alarm never sounded.”

That worked for two days before Thor set his own alarm early and waited to see what the malfunction was that was causing Loki to wake up late.

Turned out the major malfunction was the phone’s inability to ring while turned off, because Loki was powering it down before going to sleep. That earned Loki a rude awakening to water spritz and a half hour in the corner while eating a banana and drinking coffee. The punishment continued that night with more corner time and no ice cream.

That didn’t deter Loki though. After a week of eating three balanced meals a day and gaining three pounds he had enough of that rule as well. To him the three pounds was so noticeable that it was making him fat. So he started looking up tasty looking pictures on Google and sending those to Thor.

It worked for a little while until Thor got on the computer at work after Loki and saw his history. Now all three meals had to be eaten in front of Thor and that was rough because timing their lunches was tiring. It’s wasn’t like they knew when crimes would be committed. On the few days they couldn’t be together, Thor forced him to Skype.

Bastard.

But that was alright because there was one, blatant way he was breaking the rules that he had been doing since the third day in.

He was cursing in Swedish. His family originated from Scandinavia and though he hadn’t lived there, he learned the language. At least enough of it to curse.

And Thor had no clue.

It pleased Loki immensely.

Their contract was coming to an end though and Loki wasn’t too sure what to do with that. He didn’t really want it to end if he took a moment to be honest with himself. But he really didn’t want to take a moment. He was afraid of what he’d find. It was easier to pretend like this was all just a game and nothing serious. But Loki had started having dreams, so vivid he thought it actually happened.

The dreams were always about whatever punishment, or game Thor and Sif played that day only Loki was in Sif’s position. It was him that was being teased, paddled or roughly handled. He would wake up unbearably turned on. So no, he didn’t want to take a moment to think about anything.

Loki pushed open the door to his home a little surprised to see they had company.

Sif and Thor had friends at the club and sometimes they had get togethers. Loki had never gone to any of the get togethers in Tony’s house and when they came over he hid in his sanctuary. For some reason though, he really didn’t feel like hiding away that night.

He thought the couples were weird though.

Tony, the owner of the club, was in a relationship with Pepper but he was a service top. Whatever the hell that meant.

Then there was Natasha and Bruce. Natasha was a beautiful woman. She was only about a minute big. His open hand was larger than her whole face. He couldn’t imagine her beating her submissive Bruce. Bruce himself was a quiet guy. A stark contrast to Natasha’s outgoing personality.

Then there was Clint and Jane. Jane had a no nonsense attitude so Loki was surprised when he found out she was the submissive. Clint was a riot. He was always eating something and making the most ridiculous remarks.

Then there was Steve, the sweetest guy ever. He couldn’t see how he was in the scene at all. Usually he was alone but on that night he had a chunky, pretty woman by his side.

“Loki, we’ve been waiting for you.” Thor said, wide smile and blue eyes shinning. He didn’t know Thor managed to make his eyes look like they were shinning, but it really was something he could do.

Loki responded with a confused, “Why?”

“Come,” Thor led him, Steve and his partner followed. “This is Darcy, Steve’s new girlfriend.” Thor explained when they got far enough away from the living room. “Darcy is new to the scene and not very comfortable with this whole thing.”

Loki smiled at the woman. “Yeah they’re perverts.”

Darcy giggled.

Thor narrowed his eyes. “Anyway, we were hoping that you’d entertain her tonight while…”

“You go do perverted things?” Loki offered knowing they really didn’t do perverted things. They talked about perverted things but they didn’t have orgies or anything.

Steve smiled. “Thank you Loki.”

Loki nodded ready to move back to the living room but Thor stopped him. “Can you two go ahead? Loki and I need a moment.”

Loki watched Darcy and Steve retreat to the living room. For a moment he thought maybe Thor had looked up some of the world he’d been saying on Google translate, but then he realized the other man didn’t look upset. “What’s up?”

“I told Natasha about our contract.” Thor told him bluntly.

Loki huffed. “Why?” Why would he tell them anything? It wasn’t like it was something he wanted broadcasted.

“She’s my best friend.” He answered as if that explained everything.

Loki looked at him for a moment wondering what he should even say to that. It wasn’t her business to know and he really didn’t think it was something Thor should have been spreading.

But what was the use of getting upset over it. He was embarrassed and a little hurt but it wasn’t worth it to argue and get on Thor’s bad side. “Ok.” He finally said, eyes to the ground.

“No,” Thor said. “I see it all over you, it’s far from OK. Talk to me Loki.” Thor demanded.

For a reason completely unknown to Loki, he answered honestly. “I’m embarrassed. She must have laughed when you told her.”

Thor frowned. “Laughed?”

“Yeah. I mean you’re used to doing some hardcore things and what we have must come across as a joke.”

Thor moved closer to him, still not touching him. He was always so careful not to cross that line that now Loki didn’t even fear it. “First of all, the submission of a person who kneels for every Dom in the club is not nearly as meaningful as the submission of man who has to struggle to give it. There is nothing laughable about what you have given me Loki. Even if you decide never to sign another contract with me, you just trying it is a prize I will treasure always. Second of all, she didn’t laugh. Her exact words were, ‘I hope you’ve put him on an eating schedule’ and you know why she said that? Because every Dom in our circle sees you Loki and has that instinct to guide you. They have all, at one point or another, even the subs who asked through their dominants, asked about your welfare.”

Loki didn’t know that. He didn’t think any of them thought anything about him. It wasn’t like he hung out with them or had any of their number. Some of them, like Bruce, he probably only spoken to a handful of time over the last year. The idea of it felt heavy to Loki. It made him turn his eyes away from Thor.

“Steve called me earlier as asked specifically if you could befriend Darcy.”

It was weird to hear that. Loki had never really had friends. He would never let anyone get that close so the prospect of having someone to tell about his business was really a foreign concept. Knowing they actually thought about him and not in a derogatory way actually made him feel better. “Why would you tell me anyway? Natasha is tactful, she never would have said anything.”

Thor frowned. “Because that’s how trust if formed Loki. These relationships require a great deal of it. I expect you to tell me everything in your world and you should expect me to do the same. I told her something without thinking and so it is my duty to fill you in and give you a chance to respond.”

Loki was in unfamiliar waters. He was in a marriage where he couldn’t even expect fidelity and yet Thor was talking about full disclosure and trust. “Ok Thor. I’m not used to having people to actually talk too and if I did have someone to talk to, I’d probably tell them too.”

Thor smiled. “I know. That’s why I told Steve yes to your befriending of Darcy. You’re both new to this. Now you have someone to talk to.”

Loki realized then he was being handled and found that it was actually kind of sweet.

He followed Thor back to the living room and stood by Darcy who looked about as uncomfortable as he did the first time they gathered in his house. He cleared his throat loud enough that he obtained everyone’s attention. “So when are you guys going to strip naked and swap partners?”

The collective gasps was worth it alone but the very shocked and horrified “What?” from Darcy made him laugh out loud.

A barrage of “Shut up Loki” was spewed at him and a punch to his arm from Darcy made him laugh harder before he grabbed Darcy’s hand. “Come on. You can help me bake a cake.”

Much to his delight, Darcy had some baking skills. They banged out a cake and cupcakes quickly. They sat at the table drinking a beer waiting for everything to bake when she said suddenly said, “Your wife is a bitch.”

It was so sudden that it cause Loki to laugh out loud. “No she isn’t.”

“She totally is.” Darcy sounded sure of it. “I met her a few times before and I was totally turned off her. When Steve told me you were her husband I was so worried you’d be an ass too.”

Loki smiled but made no move to defend Sif. A lot of people were put off by her. But he knew her heart. She was a kind person when she wanted to be.

“Is she your dominate?” Darcy asked after a particularly long swig of her beer.

It was a loaded question. There was no contract between them, but she ruled him none the less. “You could say that. Is Steve really a dominant? He doesn’t seem to be.”

Darcy sighed. “From what I understand, he isn’t like a hardcore guy. He says its domestic discipline that he does.”

“I’ve heard of that. That’s like loving spankings right.” He knew it to be a little more than that. Thor had explained that was essentially what they were engaged in. Standing in corners, no extreme play, and a lot of talking is what Loki got from that conversation. Though he knew there was more to it. He just wanted to hear what Darcy knew about it.”

Darcy laughed. “I guess. To be honest, I don’t know if I could let someone spank me.”

Loki could very well understand that. He wasn’t too keen on letting a man beat him either. “Well I’ll tell you this. When you guys contract, be explicit about what you don’t want as a punishment. Because if you leave it vague, like saying no touching, you might get a water spritz to your face.”

Darcy giggled. “You get sprayed with a water bottle?”

“Yup. Followed by a very disappointed, ‘bad kitten’.”

“Aww he calls you kitten?” She had that face on that women get when they think something is so adorable. It’s that look Loki had seen on their faces when a baby entered a room.

“Don’t aww, it’s not sweet.” He said, though it secretly liked it. Very secretly. So secretly he wouldn’t even admit to himself.

The smell of the cakes must have been tempting because Clint, Natasha and Thor came into the kitchen looking for sweets. Loki went to go check on the cakes but was a bit careless while pulling them out as he burned the tip of his finger on one of the hot pans.

He hissed before he let out a colorful array of words in Swedish.

“Are you alright?” He heard Thor ask as he looked at his hand, already turning red and pouted at his finger. If Sif had been sitting there, she wouldn’t have even turned around so it did come as a bit of a surprise when Thor seemed visibly concerned.

“Yeah, I’ve got cream in the bathroom.” Loki went to go grab the cream and rub some on his sore fingers.

Burns sucked, especially hand burns. It always stung longer as he had the tendency to touch everything. After rubbing the ointment in, he put the cream back and walked back to the kitchen. Right when he reached the entrance way he heard Thor’s outraged voice. “He’s been cussing in Swedish?”

Loki’s heart sped up as he stood wide eyed at Thor was talking to Natasha. Apparently Natasha was multilingual. Loki did not know that.

Thor and Loki stared each other down for a moment before Thor jumped up and Loki bolted to get up the stairs and into his bedroom in safety. He could hear the Dom’s screaming, “Get him!” While the subs were rooting for Loki. “Run Loki!”

Bruce was even kind enough to accidently drop his bag in front of Thor causing him to stumble a bit.

Bruce was Loki’s new best friend that was for sure.

Loki made it into the bedroom but was unable to get the door closed and locked fast enough. Thor had caught up to him and closed the door behind him with a loud bang.

“You’re not allowed to touch me.” Loki reminded a smug smile on his face. There were no spray bottle around so he figured he’d be getting away with this one.

To his surprise, Thor smiled not seeming to be angry at all. “You’re right, I can’t.”

Loki swallowed hard as Thor sauntered over to him causing him to back up against the wall.

“You know what that means though?” Thor asked, his voice low and sultry. “It means I can’t kiss your lips, or nibble your neck.”

Thor was so close to Loki now that he could feel his breath on the skin of his neck as Thor lowered his head to his ear. His words were whispered to him, like it was a secret.

“It means I can’t run my fingers through your soft hair or run my fingertips up your thighs.”

Loki’s mouth dried as his cock hardened.

“It means I can’t rub on your hard cock, make it throb in need before I put it in my mouth.”

“Geez.” Loki breathed out.

“I can’t wait to show the pleasures that lay inside you. When I touch your prostate Loki you’re going to lose your mind. I’ll rub it as you beg me to finish you. But I wouldn’t, not yet. Not until I’ve tasted you there.”

Loki sucked in his breath unable to even imagine Thor doing something like that.

“I would eat you Loki so slowly. Your little hole clenching to be filled as your cock aches to be emptied.”

Loki was breathing so hard he had started shaking. He took a step forward suddenly feeling like he needed some form of contact with him as he whimpered. “Thor.”

Thor stepped back. “I would do all of that Loki and more… but I’m not allowed to touch you.”

Loki’s jaw set. “What?”

Thor smiled and pulled back. “As you said Loki, I’m not allowed to touch you. I suggest with that perverted party down stairs, you don’t go down with a hard-on.

Thor turned and left leaving Loki seething.

It took ten minutes of thinking about the most unsexy things he could before he could go downstairs. He was actually seething. How dare Thor use his own rule to torture him? How dare he fill him with such need and then leave him with no way to expel it?

He hated when someone got one over on him. It made him feel stupid and that was the one thing Loki knew he wasn’t. He may not have been the most attractive, the richest or even the nicest but he was almost always the smartest.

By the time Loki returned, Darcy had cut the cake and they were sitting down to enjoy it. Darcy placed a plate of cake in his hand but before he could take a bite, Thor leaned over.

“If you think, after breaking a rule in my face for the last week and a half I’m going to allow you to eat cake, you’ve lost your mind.”

Thor hadn’t sounded upset. On the contrary. The statement was made in the lightest of tones and that just made Loki three shades angrier. After making him want to have sex with him and then denying him the cake as well it seemed like an over kill on punishment. He looked Thor in the eye, used the fork to cut off a chewable piece.

Still, Thor didn’t seem to get upset. His tone was still light as he leaned over again. “You put that cake in your mouth, knowing I told you your on punishment, is a breach of our contract and will end it. Is that what you want Loki? Are we ending our contract?”

Loki tried to hold on to his anger. He tried to force himself to say he was done with his stupid contract and that Thor could go fuck himself with all those rules. But the truth was, he knew he’d want to wake up tomorrow with Thor encouraging him to eat some eggs instead of just his usual banana and coffee.

With a defeated huff he tossed the cake on the closest table harder than he probably should have, but then temper tantrums weren’t against the contract.

Thor gave him a sad smile. “That’s my Kitten.”

Those three words shouldn’t have made Loki feel so much better.

But they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I love comments.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki's relationship takes a huge step forward while Sif is away for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating warnings as I go along so please take a moment to look if you are someone with triggers.
> 
> No beta but reread
> 
> This chapter goes into detail about child abuse.
> 
> Thanks for the comments!

Loki liked rain storms. Thor didn’t know why but every time it rained, Loki would go running outside like a little kid. The louder the storm the better. He was calmer, happier, and more mischievous. Thor had asked Sif once why and she claimed she didn’t know. He believed her. Everything she did know about Loki’s unfortunate past she told willingly. There was no reason for her to keep this back from him.

Thor knew the contract he had with Loki was up tomorrow and Loki made no mention of it. He worried Loki wouldn’t want to renew it. After the Swedish cursing issue a few days prior, Thor had been concerned he’d pushed too far. But once Loki cooled down, he actually apologized.

“I just got so excited that I was getting away with it, I didn’t really think about what would happen if you found out.” He’d said.

Sometimes Thor thought that Loki would be a criminal had he not gotten into college and pursued a life on the side of good. He would be a good one too. He was very smart and good at figuring out what criminals would, could do or did do.

But despite their discussion about Loki’s naughty behavior, nothing had been mentioned about extending the contract. Not that Thor wanted this particular contract extended. No, he wanted an all new contract. He wanted to be able to at least, touch Loki. Maybe not penetrate him but some kisses would be nice. Something more than the pecks Loki gave out while running out the door in the morning.

Thor pushed open the front door was surprised to see he was the first one home. Usually Loki was but it seemed he must have gotten a case before he was able to leave.

He started dinner and sent a text to his two subs to search out their whereabouts. Loki text back first with a quick “Still at work” followed by “you’re not the boss of me.”

Thor smiled at the message rolling his blue eyes in his head. Loki was a mess.

Sif walked through the door like a whirlwind talking before he even had time to register her presence. “I have to go to California tonight.” She went running upstairs to the bedroom and started pulling out her suitcase to pack it. “We are so close to busting this ring it’s ridiculous. But we think the king pin is in LA.”

“Will they let you take the collar?” Thor asked watched her moving at the speed of lightening as he leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“I don’t even care. This ass was trafficking children. As long as he’s off the streets I’m fine.”

It was a feeling Thor could relate to. Some of the things they saw was rough. It didn’t matter which prison those scumbags were in, as long as they were imprisoned. “Did you tell Loki?”

“I shot him a text. You know he’s under investigation though right?” She said it so flippantly Thor wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.

Thor frowned. “What? No, why?”

“He shot someone in the head.” Still with that flippant tone.

“What?” Forensic scientists didn’t carry guns. How did he even get a hold of a gun?

“He was on scene and the perp actually went back to try to destroy evidence. I don’t know the specifics.” She said but she didn’t sound terribly concerned.

Thor’s frown deepened. Loki just messaged him and said nothing about it. He hadn’t even hinted at something being wrong. He was really going to have to work on his communication skills.

Shooting a gun was traumatic even to seasoned officers. For someone sent to just collect some evidence, it must have been all the more traumatizing.

“Where is he?” There was a process when you fire a weapon. They questioned you for a long time, making you repeat the story over and over again to try to get accurate information. Then they sent you to the hospital to be sure that there was no physical manifestation of taking a life.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Look I have to go.” She pecked his cheek and ran out.

Thor stood there for a moment trying to process the information that was just unloaded on him before he went back to the kitchen to grab his phone. Before he could dial Loki’s number, he heard his key in the door and watched as he pushed his way in the house.

He looked tired and slightly disheveled but otherwise ok.

He smiled when he saw Thor. “Hey. Thanks for starting dinner for me.”

Thor blinked trying to figure out why Loki’s first words weren’t ‘I shot someone today’. “Why didn’t you tell me you shot someone today?”

Loki frowned as if trying to figure out how Thor knew about that and it seemed to dawn on him. “Because I knew you’d make a big deal about it.”

“It is a big deal.” Thor confirmed. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” He answered taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack. “Luckily he was a bad shot.” The joke went flat. Not even he smiled at it.

The smell of Thor’s rice over cooking on the stove brought his attention back to what he was doing before he received the disturbing news about Loki’s day. “Come into the kitchen.” Thor heard Loki’s footsteps falling behind him with soft thuds. He pulled out the chair from the table and pointed at sit. “Sit down. Tell me what happened.”

Loki slid in the chair, eyes looking distant and heavy. “I was at the scene collecting evidence. This guy came in, I guess he was sent there to destroy wipe off finger prints or something. I didn’t even hear him come in really. I just happened to move when he fired and he missed me. We wrestled for a moment and the next thing I knew, the gun was in my hand and I just shot.”

Thor tried not to look as bothered as he actually was. He gave up on cooking and turned off the stove. There was a part of him deeply upset by Loki’s delay in telling him what happened. Another part of him was trying to register that Loki could have been shot today. And finally, he was sympathized with the traumatic experience of firing a gun. There was no feeling like taking a life compounded with the knowledge that you could have very well been killed. He was bothered by how unaffected Loki seemed by this.

He didn’t know which of those feelings to express first.

He took a moment to collect himself before he asked again. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve some ringing in my ears. But…”

“I don’t mean physically.” Thor clarified. “You took a life while trying not to lose yours.”

Loki shrugged. “Supposedly I’m in shock.”

Supposedly? Did Loki not believe he was in shock? “How’d you get home?”

“A patrol car drove me.” He informed Thor still looking distant and unaffected.

A patrol car? Loki was no runaway or some unloved man. Why didn’t the hospital call someone when they realized he had shock? They left him in the hands of a patrol car? When a patrol car was supposed to be at the scene with him. “Where was the patrol car that was supposed to be watching you at the scene?”

“Wasn’t there when the guy came in.” Loki shrugged. “Wasn’t there when EMS got there.”

Thor was starting to silently rage. There was no way Loki should have been left alone at a scene. There was no way Sif should have come in acting like Loki hadn’t just had one of the most traumatic days in his adult life. Where was anyone’s sense of urgency?

“And why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Thor questioned trying to understand why he was the only one concerned.

Loki shrugged again. “I don’t know Thor. My first thought was to call Sif and that’s what I did.”

Sif. Of course. The one person that he should have called and she should have cared. But she barely seemed interested in this at all. Why would Loki think Thor would care anymore than his own wife? “You should have called me.”

“Why?” Loki suddenly looked annoyed with him. “Who are you?”

“Your dominant.” Thor answered without thought. Had he thought about it, he would have known that was not what he should have said.

Loki’s face darkened. “I called my wife, that is who needed to know.”

“And did she give a flying fuck?” Thor regretted the words as soon as he said them when a look of hurt passed over Loki’s features.

“She has her own job.” Loki defended. “She had to go to California.”

“Bullshit! Has she ever fired her gun?” He knew she’d had. Vice detectives often did dealing with seedy people.

“Of course.” Loki spat out at him.

Thor threw his hands up. “Then she knows how traumatic it is.”

“You know I’m getting real tired of people talking about her as if she’d the worse female that has ever walked the Earth. I feel compelled to remind you fuck her regularly.”

“I feel compelled to remind you that you do too. Therefore she should care that one of the cocks she fucks was almost shot.” Thor spat back at him.

Loki seemed to have nothing to say about that for a moment. “Why are you yelling at me? I’ve done nothing wrong.” The heat was out of Loki’s words but his face was still dark.

“I’m not yelling you at.” Even as he said it, voice raised, he knew he was yelling. But it wasn’t actually at Loki.

“Really? Raised voice, hand gestures and angry words are proof that you are.” Loki insisted.

“Loki,” Thor took a breath trying to get himself together.

“You know Thor, I know Sif doesn’t love me. I know if you and she stopped sleeping together she’d leave me. I don’t need you tell me that.” Despite the very sad words, Loki still looked angry.

Thor never wanted to come across that way. Rubbing Sif’s infidelity in Loki’s face was not what he was aiming at. “That’s not what I was saying Loki.”

Loki cocked his head to the side. “Then what are you saying?”

“That a series of people have failed you today. There is no way you should have been at a crime scene alone. There is no reason that the hospital didn’t have you call someone to pick you up. There is no reason why Sif didn’t at least call me to get to you.”

“Alright, I get it. My life sucks. What would calling you have done about any of that?” And there it was. Loki’s resolution that he was alone and his feelings that nothing would ever break that loneliness.

“Then I would have been there. Someone would have been there that cared!” Thor tried to explain making it as plain as he could.

That seemed to deflate Loki some. “Oh. Why didn’t you just say that?”

Thor sighed. “Because I’m upset that you were alone. I’m upset that you almost died today.”

“So then you are mad.” Loki said cautiously.

“Yes,” Thor admitted. “But not at you.”

“Well then stop yelling at me. Go call Sif and yell at her.” Thor wondered if Loki really wanted him to do that.

“Oh I plan to.”

Loki frowned. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Thor confirmed.

Loki looked contemplative for a moment. “I’m going to call Darcy.”

That sounded like music to Thor’s ears. That was fine. If Loki didn’t want to talk to him, at least he’d be able to talk to someone. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Thor went to leave the kitchen but as he passed Loki he was caught with an overwhelming sensation to just touch the other man. He wanted to confirm that Loki really was ok, alive and though not perfectly fine, fine enough to be home.

Without thinking he pulled Loki out the seat and embraced him.

Loki stiffened for a moment and for a moment, Thor thought Loki was going to remind him about the no touching rule in their contract. But then slowly, Loki returned the embrace, his face buried in Thor’s neck. “I almost died today.” He said.

Thor held him tighter. He knew that was in there somewhere. There was no way Loki could be so unaffected. It was just that Loki has had to be strong for so long, he didn’t know how to allow someone to comfort him. “I know.”

Loki shifted, laying his head on Thor’s broad shoulder. “And she wouldn’t have cared if I did.”

Thor frowned not sure at first what to say. He didn’t want to lie and say Sif would be devastated, but he couldn’t act like he hadn’t heard the statement. “I would have.” He didn’t say it to show himself better than Sif. He said it because Loki needed to know someone did.

After a couple of heart beats, he heard Loki say, “I’m glad you’re here.”

Thor kissed his temple. “Go call Darcy. I’m going to take a shower and we’re going to order some food.”

“Ok.” Loki squirmed out of Thor’s grasp. “I’m off the rest of the week. They want me to see someone tomorrow afternoon.”

“That’s good.” Thor wondered if Loki was trying to ask him to go to the appointment tomorrow with him. He wondered about it the entire time he was in the shower. When he dried off, called his captain and decided to take the time off. Maybe Loki wouldn’t ask him to go. Maybe Loki wouldn’t tell him that he needed help with this. But then maybe he would and Thor wanted to make sure he was available if needed.

Thor woke up early the next morning and turned off Loki’s alarm. The poor man had tossed and turned all night before finally finding rest around dawn.

They had ate Chinese and watched late night television. Loki wouldn’t exactly let Thor hold him but he took Thor’s company and Thor was happy for that. He didn’t want to push his luck any further, but everything in him wanted to feel Loki all night in his arms, just to remind himself that Loki was still with him.

He slid out the bed, careful not to wake him, and started a pot of coffee. Sif hadn’t called yet so he dialed her number to see if she made in to California alright.

She sounded chipper when she picked up. “Thor! What are you doing up so early?”

“Didn’t sleep much.” Was his short answer.

“Why? Miss me with you?” He could hear the smile in her voice.

It made him roll his eyes. “Loki couldn’t sleep.”

“Why?”

Was she serious? “Why? He was almost shot yesterday.”

“Oh, right.” She’d really forgotten. Was he that unimportant in her life? If so she should have put him out of his misery and divorced him. “Is he up?”

“No.” Was his straight forward answer. “Can you come home?”

She stayed quiet for a moment. “Why?”

“Loki could use your support.” It was a simple answer and though it pained him to admit it, Loki would let her in faster than him.

“Is that what he said?”

“Not in those words. But I think he’d like it if you were here.”

She huffed. “It’s not like I’m on vacation Thor.”

“I know that Sif. And so does he, which is why you coming home would mean a lot to him.” Thor explained it as if she were a petulant child wanting know why she couldn’t go a co-ed party.

She stayed quiet for a moment before changing the subject. “The weather is great here. We should come here on vacation over the summer.”

Thor took a breath to argue but decided it probably wouldn’t change anything. It was within their contract that he could have ordered her to come home but Loki wouldn’t appreciate her coming home not because she cared but because she was forced. “A New York girl like you would hate California.”

She giggled. “I got to go. I’ll call later.”

He nodded as if she could see him and hung up.

He made and finished a cup of coffee before getting up and walking back upstairs. He could hear Loki’s voice the closer he got. He sounded upset, somewhat emotional. By the time he reached the bedroom, Loki had hung up with whomever he was talking to and threw his phone on the bed. When he heard Thor enter he whipped around, face red and his eyes watery. “Why did you tell Sif I wanted her to come home?”

What a bitch. Did she really call Loki and yell at him for needing her? “Because it’s my job to get you what you need and what you want.” He answered simply.

Loki turned around, breathing hard and looking sick. “Our contract ends today.” He said.

Thor nodded. “We don’t need to talk about that right now.”

“Yesterday you were yelling about being my dominate and now you don’t want to even talk about continuing to do so.”

This wasn’t about the contract, Thor knew. This was about Sif not caring about him needing her. He wanted someone to care. He wanted to know that someone would take responsibility for him.

Would love him.

“Loki, I don’t need to a contract to tell me to care about you or to take care of you. It comes naturally to me. And you certainly don’t need a contract with someone to get them to care.”

“Really?” Loki sounded as if he really didn’t believe that. “Because I have a contract with someone who is supposed to love me. And for the life of me I can’t figure out why she doesn’t.”

Thor’s heart actually hurt for a moment. He went to go to him but Loki must have sensed it because he jumped out the bed. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Thor stopped midstride. He’d respect Loki’s need for space.

Loki turned around. “What are you even doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I took the week off.” Thor informed him.

“Why?” Loki questioned.

The answer was easy. “To take care of you Loki.”

Loki looked at him for a long moment. It looked as if he was reading him trying to search him for a lie. “Good. You can chauffer me around today.”

Thor smiled as Loki went to shower. He was glad he took off. Loki did want him to the appointment with him.

000

Loki sat the kitchen table looking at the contract he and Thor signed two weeks ago. It seemed like so long ago. It seemed like months had passed, not just fourteen days.

Loki felt exhausted. The doctor he had an appointment with referred him to see a therapist as he was physically fine. Loki had seen therapists before. He knew what to say to prove to them that he was fine. But it would take another week to get in and his job refused to let him come back until he had both physical and psychological clearance.

An idle Loki was a dangerous one. It had been years since he’d taken a blade to his skin but suddenly it was something he wanted to do. Normally he would call Sif but he knew that would just upset her further and that would only upset him further.

Instead, while Thor napped, Loki called Darcy again who decided to take an hour off lunch and spend it with him.

Loki was grateful for the company. It took his mind off the fact that he almost died yesterday.

Darcy was like the older sister that felt like her little brother was incapable of taking care of himself. She wouldn’t even let him open his own water bottle. He had to keep reminding her that nothing was physically wrong with him other than the slight ringing that remained in his ears. She wasn’t hearing any of it and it made him feel good for a reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

But eventually, Darcy had to go back to work and Loki had found himself sitting at the table wondering if he wanted to renew this contract or start a new one completely. The first one was really just to test the waters, have some fun. But he didn’t want to have fun anymore.

He wanted something real.

He just didn’t know what real was.

“Hey.”

Thor’s voice startled him. “Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yeah. What have you been up to?” Thor asked as he took a seat across from Loki.

“Darcy came over for lunch. She has mother hen tendencies.” Loki smiled.

Thor smiled and Loki wondered why he had never realized what a nice smile he had. Thor was an attractive man with is chin length blonde hair and blonde stubble on his face. “It’s a match for Steve then.”

The response caused Loki to stop staring into Thor’s face reveling in its attractiveness as he tried to think of an appropriate response. Luckily, Loki didn’t know Steve all that well so he left that alone.

“What are you doing?” Thor gestured towards the contract.

“Just looking at our expired contract.” Loki answered knowing Thor already knew that. But he didn’t know what else to say. ‘I’m trying to figure out if I have the balls to take what I want’ didn’t seem like a good answer.

“Do you want to renew it? Are you really feeling up for that discussion?”

“Yeah, I do.” Loki wanted to do anything to keep his mind off of what happened and the fact that his wife wasn’t there to help make it better.

“Loki… I… I would rather have no contract and we start a relationship than to have a contract and I can’t touch you.” Thor said suddenly. “If you don’t want a relationship, but want to explore this life style, I can put you in touch with Doms that will take you on and teach you without sex. If you want a relationship with no kink factor, I will do my best to keep that from you. I can take subs and not sleep with them Loki. This life style isn’t about sex and all I want is your happiness. And taking a sub doesn’t have to happen for a long time. You can even be there so be sure I wouldn’t betray you.”

Thor’s speech was both sweet and cruel. It was giving Loki every option available while showing him all the ways Sif betrayed him if what Thor said about the scene was accurate. “Thor, I don’t know how much I can give you sexually. I don’t think I could sexually perform with you, despite the bathroom incident.”

“Loki, the only time I mentioned sex in what I just told you is how I wouldn’t do it with anyone outside our relationship. I know things happened to you and I’m not trying to rush you. When I say touch, I mean hold you. Caress your face. Not fuck you into the mattress.”

Loki swallowed. “But what if I want to see how far I can go?”

For the first time since the start of the conversation, Thor didn’t seem to have a fast answer. He took a moment to think about. “That’s when your safe words would come into play. You say them, we slow down or stop. No guilt.”

Loki nodded. “And the punishments for the misbehavior we both know I’ll seek out to do?”

Thor smiled at that but then put on his serious face. “Before we even venture into that, we’d have to start talking about your childhood.”

Loki had figured that. Though he didn’t know a lot about this scene, he knew some things and he knew this scene could bring up a lot of the same feelings he felt while being abused. “What would you need to know?”

“What he did to you. In detail. What he used, when he did it. I need to know if you’ve ever been in therapy, how healed you are from that.” In other words, he needed a play by play of worst years of his life.

Loki nodded. “Then let’s talk.” Loki’s voice carried a bravado that he didn’t actually feel.

Loki could see happiness in Thor’s eyes, though he had the tact not to allow it to touch his lips. He knew Thor wasn’t happy to hear about the violent details of that time in Loki’s life but Loki’s willingness to share that with him. “When did the abuse start?”

“For as long as I can remember.” There was no time in Loki’s memory that his father hadn’t been beating him.

“When did it stop?”

“I ran away when I was fourteen.” Loki was sure Laufey, his father, would have killed him had he not left home.

Thor nodded. “And the sexual abuse?”

That was always the hardest to talk to about. It was what he was the most ashamed about. Even though Laufey wasn’t his biological father, there was a stigma attached to the act that reflected badly on him. “I don’t remember when it started and it was the reason I left.” It was after a Laufey had passed him around to two of friends and they took turns inserting what ever they found around the house into his anus. Plungers, a broom stick, a soda bottle. It didn’t matter to them.

“How did he beat you?” Loki wondered if Thor somehow sensed his struggle in talking about it and decided to turn the conversation back to something he could handle.

“His hands when it was just slaps. For beatings, the belt.” For some reason, his hands were always worse.

It seemed like Thor was struggling to listen to him as much as Loki was struggling to talk about it. It was oddly comforting. “And the rapes?”

“He… um… when he first started, it was only when he was drunk. But then, it was almost nightly.” It was always after telling Loki it was his fault his mother died and so would take her place to please him. “When I was, I think ten, he started inviting people.” And it was always worse when there were more two of them. They were bolder and it seemed less inhibited.

Thor took a deep breath, it seemed to steady himself. “Did you orgasm when they raped you?”

Why would he ask him that? Loki tried to think of something to say to soften what he would imagine would make him sound disgusting. It wasn’t like he wanted it. It wasn’t like he even enjoyed it. He thought about lying about it for a little while but opted against it. Instead he felt his eyes water and he nodded guiltily.

Thor moved to the chair next to him and turned Loki’s chair to face him. “Listen to me Loki.” When Loki didn’t face him, he cupped his check and pulled up gently. “Orgasms during rape are not uncommon and is not a reflection on the victim.” He caught a tear spilling from one of Loki’s eyes and started rubbing his face. “It is in no way your fault. You were a child.”

Loki nodded but said nothing. It wasn’t the first time he heard that but like all the other times, it didn’t help him feel any better.

Thor nodded as if he knew his words wouldn’t change Loki’s mind. “What happened when you ran away?”

“Um, ACS picked me up. I went into foster care.” Foster care wasn’t that much better than Laufey, but at least the rapes stopped. “That’s when I met Sif and we got married. She went to the same high school as I did.” Loki really didn’t want to talk about her though.

“And therapy.” Thor continued on.

“Foster care forced me to go. I can’t say if it helped me much.” Memories started flooding his thoughts. He was so scared living on the streets and even more afraid in foster care. It seemed like his entire childhood could just be summed up in one word. Fear. “Can we stop?”

Immediately Thor nodded. “Of course. You did well.” He was softly rubbing Loki’s knee. “Stay here, I want to go get something.”

Loki took a moment to get himself together while Thor went to where ever it was he disappeared to. He had to stop crying in front of this man.

Thor returned carrying a small stack of papers and some highlighters. “Printed on these papers are lists of sexual acts, punishment and rewards. Some are very basic and some are very outlandish. Take this green marker and highlight everything you like and want to do. Not something you want to try, but something you have done or know you will like.”

That part was easy. Loki know what he liked with Sif and assumed those things would transfer to Thor easy enough.

After that Loki was instructed to use the yellow highlighter for the things he didn’t like.

That took a little but more thought. Truth was Loki wasn’t really comfortable with intimacy as a whole but there were somethings he disliked just based on principle. Like orgasm denial. Who’d like that? His brain denied him orgasms all the time and it was frustrating.

After that, came the red highlighter to mark out things he’d never want and while Loki that he’d easily be able to run through that list it was what he struggled with the most.

There were things he knew he would never want to do. Some of the extreme tortures involving bodily fluids really wasn’t something Loki wanted to experience. But then there were things that he knew Thor liked that he didn’t think he could do.

Like beatings.

He knew Thor loved them. He had every kind of whipping implement someone could have and Sif would tell come home and show him the marks he’d left. If he said no to that, Thor would be deprived of something he loved to do. Why would he want to sign up with someone he couldn’t’ find pleasure in? Wasn’t that how Sif strayed so far?

So he back tracked and colored it green.

Finally, he was given an orange highlighter for everything that he had never heard of. Surprisingly, there was a few things he had never heard of before. Things like urethral sounding. Wasn’t that a medical procedure? How was that pleasurable?

When he was all done, Thor looked it over thoroughly before give Loki a sad smile. “We both know some of these you won’t be able to do Loki.”

Loki frowned. “How do you know?” Immediately his defenses went up. It was such a strong pull to please someone that he’d do it to the detriment of himself.

“Because I can’t imagine that you’d allow me to take a belt to your back after what you just told me about your father.”

Thor’s candid tone prompted Loki to be just as honest. “You like beatings.”

“That’s not what this is about. Submission and dominance comes in many forms Loki. I get just as much pleasure watching you struggle to watch your words to avoid the spritz as I do when I beat someone.”

Loki doubted that. But he would argue. Instead he just quiet.

Thor closed the packet. “Let’s get something to eat and we’ll try again tomorrow.”

Loki nodded though he couldn’t shake the feeling like he failed a bit. As if he disappointed Thor despite trying his best to please him. Usually Loki could read people and tell what it was they wanted. It was a skill that he was forced to develop. Pleasing foster parents so that they wouldn’t send you back to the orphanage where you were ignored and forgotten was a skill that kept him sheltered and fed.

Thor, for his part, didn’t act disappointed. He was little touchier than he’d been the past two weeks. Not overly so and not in a sexual manner, just minor brushes of his finger tips on Loki’s back or keeping an arm around his shoulders while they watched television.

That night they slept in the same bed. Thor had given Loki a kiss on his forehead but had not tried to even snuggle close to him. Instead, he threw a long arm over his hips and left it there. When Loki was confident Thor would do more than that, he drifted off to sleep.

000

Thor woke up to an empty bed. Loki had been stiff under his arm last night but made no move to turn away from his hold. He had no nightmares and though he did sleep through the entire night, he got more sleep than the night before.

Yesterday had been rough. Loki was having a rough week and it was hard on any Dom to watch their sub suffer. If Loki was deeper in the scene, there were things he could have done to help him through it. But there wasn’t much he could do with a man that laid stiff as a board for an hour just because Thor had laid an arm on him.

He would have to find another way to help his sub. It’s why Loki needed a Dom. And if yesterday taught him anything about Loki, it was that he needed some direction. He was so willing to hurt himself to please someone else that he could see how abusers found him easily. And while Loki probably thought he was the way he was because he was a people pleasure, that wasn’t the entire truth. Thor knew a driving force behind that was Loki’s intense need to end his loneliness. People under estimated just how much of a killer that was.

Thor walked downstairs in search of Loki and found him sitting in the living room with the highlighters as well as the list from yesterday. Loki looked up when he saw Thor come closer and smiled when Thor took a seat next to him.

Thor smiled in return thinking how nice it was to see a genuine smile on Loki’s face. “Did you sleep well?”

“No.” At least he didn’t lie. Loki handed Thor the papers back. “I fixed them.”

Thor took them back and looked through them. It was better but he knew it still wasn’t the honest truth. Loki highlighted the belt part in red but lift the rest of the beating implements in green. Thor really didn’t think Loki would want to be beaten at all but he didn’t want to criticize Loki. He had tried and had been as honest as he could have been and that deserved a reward.

Thor smiled. “Much better.”

“Now what?” Loki asked seeming to feel a lot more comfortable.

“Well, the green stuff is up to me when and if I give them you. The yellow stuff are soft limits. Some of it will be used for punishments. Red things are hard limits, we’ll never do it. Orange things we’ll explore together. I’ll type up a contract…”

“Wait, wait, wait a minute.” Thor looked up from the papers trying to figure out what he could have already to make Loki want to slow down. “What’s the point of telling you what I don’t like if you’re going to do it anyway?”

Thor let out a breathy laugh, standing up and pulling Loki up with him. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Loki followed behind him looking at him suspiciously but curiously. They went into the bedroom where Thor opened the walk in closet that used to be Sif’s before he moved in. “I want you to go in, grab the rack of belts and the chastity device.”

Loki hesitated but eventually did what Thor asked of him. He retrieved both items, the chastity device still in a package.

“Good. Now open the bottom draw on my side of the dresser and put the belts in it.” When Loki did what he asked, Thor pulled a key from off the top of the dresser that was attacked to a simple sliver chain. “Lock it.” When Loki did that he took the key from his hands and put the chain over Loki’s head and settled it on his neck. “This is a hard limit. I will never use these belts Loki and you will keep the key so that no matter what you do, you know I’ll never be able to even retrieve them.”

It was more than that though. The key was a symbol of trust that Loki could hold on to. When in doubt, he had a physical reminder that despite what it felt like, he had control over what Thor did just as much as Thor had control over Loki.

“And what’s with the chastity belt?” Loki questioned.

“It’s on your dislike list.” Thor explained. “You dislike it because you don’t like denial. That can change and if it doesn’t it a deterrent. Put it in the second draw. That draw will be where I keep all your punishment implements.”

Loki smiled. “That’s a good deterrent.”

“And the spray bottle stays.” Thor confirmed, amusement in his eyes.

Loki rolled his eyes though he was amused as well. “So does the condition about my conditioner.”

“I’ll agree to that if you stop pouring half in the sink as soon as you get it.” Thor countered quickly.

A sly smile crept on Loki’s face. Thor figured Loki didn’t know he knew what he was doing. Though Loki had long hair and washed it often, there was no way he was going through whole bottles in three days. “I’m going to type up the contract after breakfast.” Thor informed him. “But give me a good morning kiss first.”

There was only a moment of hesitation in Loki before he stepped closer, closing the gap between them, and pressed his lips to Thor’s.

Loki had an unusually cold body but that didn’t stop Thor from enjoying the closeness of the other man. He took a chance and gently ran his fingers across Loki’s pale cheek. Loki didn’t back away and didn’t tense, so Thor grew bolder and cupped Loki’s head to bring him in for another more forceful kiss.

Loki parted his lips and let Thor’s tongue explore his mouth before he started searching Thor’s mouth with his own tongue. Loki stepped in and for a moment Thor though he would try to take over, as he would when he and Sif made out, but suddenly Loki stiffened and pushed himself away.

Thor wondered if there was ever a time where Loki’s mind turned off and let himself enjoy something. “That was good.” Thor said, leaning his forehead against Loki’s. “You taste so sweet. I can’t get enough of you.”

Loki seemed a bit uncomfortable with Thor’s words but Thor knew it was because no one ever really spoke to him like that. He knew Loki would get used to it though. He’d make sure of it.

“Now,” Thor delivered another peck on his check. “Go cook breakfast.”

Loki frowned. “You know I don’t see why subs have to cook breakfast.”

“It’s a sign of servitude.” Thor explained releasing the other man from his hold.

“It’s a sign that dominants are lazy.” Loki corrected.

“You are well on your way to your first punishment,” Thor teased. “And I can’t even drafted the contract yet.”

Loki opened his mouth, probably to say something disrespectful, but then he looked to dresser and seemed to remember the chastity device. He turned on his heels and headed to the kitchen.

Thor smiled though he was still very much on shaky ground. He had taken subs new to the scene before and he’d dominated subs who had unfortunate pasts before but somehow, with Loki, he felt like he was never sure what he should do next.

Breakfast was a small affair. Loki had made pancakes with some fruit and coffee. Afterwards, he and Thor sat down together at the computer and typed out their contract together. Thor had decided to take that time to show Loki some things on the computer that he’d highlighted orange that morning.

Seeing simple devices though wasn’t enough for Loki. Ever the curious cat, he wanted to see them in action. That prompted Thor to start looking through some made for adults only videos. It was odd watching pornography with someone else and was experience he never had before. What made it even more off was that he was watching the videos with someone who wasn’t looking at the video for sexual purposes.

And he was critical which only made it funnier. He was looking at the videos as if they were nature documentaries while Thor was sitting next to him with a raging hard on.

How could he watch this stuff and not be affected by it?

At one point he actually said, “Oh I like this song.” While the poor sub in the video was being edged repetitively and begging for it to stop.

It caused Thor to laugh so hard his ribs hurt.

Loki spared him a confused look. “What’s so funny?”

“You like this song huh?” Thor though his cock was going to burst and Loki was sitting there, not even a little turned on at the sexual acts in front of him.

Loki’s confusion deepened. “Yeah. Why is that funny?” Loki looked as if he seriously couldn’t figure out what was so funny. It wasn’t until he noticed Thor’s erection that he said, “Oh!”

That caused Thor to laugh harder.

“OH!” He repeated blushing three shades of red when he realized that Thor was turned on by the situation. “Am I supposed to do something about that?”

Thor noticed Loki was starting to become aroused himself. His pupils were starting to dilate and he noticed Loki had become semi hard under his pajama bottoms.

“Oh yes, you are.” Thor stood up, pulling Loki up with him by his slim wrist. Thor’s heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to have a heart attack. He could feel Loki’s pulse through his slender wrist and his heart was racing as well.

“I don’t want to go all the way.” Loki whispered. “Is that ok?”

Thor smiled. There was still so many things he could show him. “More than. I’m going to give you three colors. Green means everything is good and you want to continue. Yellow means you want to slow down and red means stop. When you have a bit more experience we’ll come up with proper safewords.”

Thor claimed Loki’s lips then, not kissing with his usual force but hard enough to remind Loki that he was in control. He gently pushed Loki onto the couch and settled between his legs.

Though Loki was actively kissing him back, his body still felt tense beneath him. He wasn’t surprised. Loki was tense even he had sex with Sif.

Thor pressed his hips down eliciting the softest moan Thor had ever heard. “That’s it kitten. Tell me how good you feel.”

He bit down on Loki’s slender neck hard enough to bruise him. Loki arched and groaned louder.

“Where are we?” Thor asked.

Loki huffed. “What?”

“What color?” Thor reminded.

“Oh green. Very green.” Loki confirmed making Thor even more excited.

Thor smiled and bit down on his neck again. Still Loki was tense but he was starting to pump his hips up and down seeking harder friction. “You want more Kitten? Let’s see how loud I can make you purr.”

He slipped one large hand into Loki’s pants and found his slender cock, now fully hard. Though Loki wasn’t as thick as Thor, he was just as long. “How do you like it Loki? You want a nice tight slow hand or a loose, fast grip?”

“Tight.” Loki breathed. “Tighter please.”

Thor was pleased with Loki’s communication. “Like this Kitten?”

“Tighter.” Loki breathed.

Thor clenched him and it provoked the sweetest whimper from Loki’s lips.

But still he was tense underneath him.

“Where are we baby?” Thor asked.

“Green. Don’t stop.”

There was a disconnect somewhere in Loki. While he obviously enjoyed Thor’s attentions, there was a part of him that just couldn’t seem let go.

A small tremor was starting to overtake Loki proving that he wanted to come. But frustrated whimpers followed each tremor as it seemed his body wouldn’t listen to brain.

Or maybe more accurately, his brain wouldn’t listen to his body.

Eventually an unhappy, “Yellow.” was muttered.

Thor let Loki slip from his grip. “No, red.” He kissed the tip of Loki’s nose. “Good Kitten for safe wording.”

Loki smiled slightly before a frown appeared on his beautiful face. “Doms can safe word?”

“Sure.” Thor confirmed settling on the couch beside Loki.

“Well why?”

“A few reasons. In our case, I’ll safe word if I think you are pushing yourself into something too fast. Yellow would have slowed us down but you safe worded because you couldn’t orgasm. Continuing to stimulate me would prolong your own discomfort. While it turns me on immensely that you’d put my pleasure above your own, you not coming isn’t a choice you made.

Loki stayed silent for a moment before saying, “One of us should get to completion.”

Thor took a moment to think of an answer that would explain his position on this. “Sex isn’t about orgasm. It’s about closeness. It’s for intimacy. I’d say we were plenty intimate don’t you.” That wasn’t it though. Not entirely. He wasn’t able to get Loki’s mind off trying to achieve his own orgasm. Sometimes the pressures and anxiety of wondering if he was going to actually achieve orgasm could make it more difficult to obtain.

Now he had something else to think about. Instead of being focused on his own completion, he’d be focused on Thor’s. Maybe the next time they became intimate, he’d be so absorbed in that, he could allow his own body to respond the way it was supposed to.

It took Loki a few moment to relax with Thor so close to him but eventually fell asleep.

Thor waited until he was certain Loki wouldn’t be easily roused before sliding him out his arms and walking to the kitchen, snatching his cell phone off the living room table. He long pressed Natasha’s speed dial and waited for her to pick up.

“Hey Thor! What’s up?”

Thor contemplated that for a moment. “I’m not sure.”

“Did Loki renew the contract?” He had voiced his fears to Natasha, before Loki’s near death experience, that Loki wouldn’t renew the contract. She had told him to wait it out which was why he waited for the actual expiration date to say something about. Loki had just beat him to it.

“No, we made a whole new one.” Thor told her, but the happiness that should have been in his voice wasn’t there.

“I’m not surprised.” Was Natasha’s honest response. “What I am surprised about is why you’re on the phone with me sounding like a kicked puppy instead of showing him the ropes.”

Best friends were the best. So honest. “I’m torn between listening to his mouth or his body. He needs so much but won’t accept very much.”

“This isn’t your first time dealing with abuse Thor.” She reminded him with some frustration in her voice.

“I know, I thought that too. I don’t know why I’m hesitating.” He admitted.

“It’s because he’s male.” She said with a great deal of certainty in her voice.

“You think so?” Thor wasn’t entirely sure that was it but the more he thought about the more sense it made. All the subs he dealt with that had a rough childhood were women.

“I know so.” Natasha confirmed. “Everyone thinks rape is so different when it happens to a male. I assure you the feelings it invokes are very similar and in a lot of ways are treated in similar ways in therapy. How would you be dealing with this if it was Sif who was abused and not Loki?”

He’d be working harder to relax her. He would surround her with the things she’d love and things that would make her feel safe. He wouldn’t worried so much about contracts and the domination part of the relationship. He would just try to establish something with her.

“Trust me Thor. Don’t treat him like a female but treat him like someone you want to love not dominate.”

It was so simple he felt like an idiot for not thinking about it himself.

000

Thor was acting weird. From the moment Loki woke up the next morning. He just sounded different. Less like someone who wanted to bang his back out and more like someone who wanted to serenade him while he took a hot bath in rose peddles.

Around noon, Thor had placed two hundred dollars in his pocket and told him to go to some spa with Darcy. Darcy seemed surprised too though because she immediately started questioning Loki after they got their hair done. “Is it because you almost died?”

Loki laughed. He was doing better with that. The ringing in his ears had stopped and though sometimes he woke up thinking he heard a gunshot, he had stopped having nightmares. “I don’t think so. I mean, he’s never sent Sif to a spa. And she got hit by that car last year.”

“Hmmmm.” Darcy took a moment to think while they were sipping smoothies and looking fabulous. “Well, maybe he’s just trying to prove that he actually likes you and it’s not just about sex.”

Loki frowned. “Is he romancing me?”

“You should like you just asked me if he called you’re a bitch.” Darcy slapped his arm. “Being romance isn’t a bad thing!

“No, it’s just…” That they were both men and as far as he knew, men weren’t inherently romantic. “It’s one thing for something to be just about sex but…”

“Love is something else? Tell me about it. When Steve first told me about his lifestyle, I thought there was no way I could allow it.”

Loki perked up realizing they were no longer talking about him and Thor. Neither he nor Thor had ever talked about love before. “Wait, wait, have you crossed the line into the world of kink?”

She blushed furiously as she made her admission. “He spanked me.”

Loki’s eyes bugged out his head. It took him over a year to allow Thor to spray him in the face for cursing. How did she just decide to get spanked? “And?”

“I actually liked it.” She looked guilty, like a child who got caught eating ice cream in the middle of the night.

Loki giggled at her discomfort. “Dirty girl.”

“Shut up. At least my relationship isn’t backwards.” She teased. “We started off with the romance.”

“Yeah but we’re both men. Romance isn’t the first thing either of us think of.” It was amazing how difficult things seemed to be just because they were both men. If this was another woman, he probably wouldn’t be struggling as much as he was. But then, women hadn’t been nearly as cruel to him as men had. “My idea of a romantic night is sipping wine and doing a one thousand piece puzzle.”

Darcy laughed. “I haven’t the patience for that. Those pieces are so small.”

“Most people don’t have the patience.” Loki agreed.

“But Loki that isn’t a bad thing. I mean Steve likes country music. We argue every car ride but I let him listen to it because it’s part of him. If someone cares about you, they might complain but they would want to partake in it just to see you happy.”

That’s the way it was when he and Sif had just started. She would go to museums with him and classical music concerts. “Can you imagine Thor doing a puzzle? With his big sausage fingers?”

“Oh geez that’s hilarious! He’ll break the pieces trying to force them together.” She giggled.

Loki laughed but he wondered what it would actually be like. Thor wasn’t an intellectual man. He’d never seen Thor read a book in the year plus he’d known him. Puzzles weren’t really intellectual, but they could be boring. No action happened. It was just the long process of watching a picture progress.

After the smoothies, Loki drove Darcy back home where Steve actually was waiting in front of the house for her. How protective? How sweet?

He remembered the nights when Sif would go to the club and he would wait up to make sure she got in safely. Or the times he took that midnight drive to the Avengers to pick her up when she was too worked over and out of it after scenes to get home alone.

His mind wandered on the way back to his own house wondering if female doms did that. He tried to picture Natasha waiting for Bruce to come home or Pepper. He wondered how much different a female dom would be from a male. When Sif played with female doms, she wouldn’t even let him stay in the house.

To his surprise, Thor was waiting outside for him as well. It put butterflies in his stomach and made him feel oddly missed.

“Did you have fun?” Thor asked pulling him into the house

“Yeah.” Loki answered slowly feeling a little off balance all of a sudden.

“Your hair looks great.” Thor stepped forward once he closed the front door behind them and sniffed him. “Smells good too.”

“Yeah.” Loki found himself giggling. What the hell?

“Come,” Thor said. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Loki allowed himself to be pulled upstairs and into his sanctuary room where he used to hide when Thor and Sif played and was shocked to see what his surprise was.

The room was dimly lit with candles on a table Thor had set up. And on the table was a box of assorted muffins which was Loki’s favorite snack, a bottle of Taylor Port Loki’s favorite wine and a puzzle. 1000 pieces and a picture of thunder storm over a field. On the television was an animated scene of dark clouds and rain. Intermittently, the screen would like up and a roar of thunder could be heard.

Loki couldn’t believe it. “What’s this?”

“You’ve had a really hard week Loki. This is just to help you unwind.”

Loki sat at the chair Thor pulled out for him feeling strangely like he was on a date in his own home.

He started in on the muffins first before drinking some wine.

“I suggest you nurse it. You’re on a two drink minimum.” Thor informed him with a bit of a teasing tone.

Loki arched a brow. “Oh really?”

“I want you loose not drunk.” Was Thor flirting with him?

“And I care what you want because…” Was Loki flirting back?

Thor smiled sweetly in response. “Because you care about me.”

Loki pursed his lips. “Says who?”

Thor’s smile widened but he didn’t answer.

They started on the puzzle and worked in silence for a little while until Loki asked, “Have the investigators working on your fire finally realized they should ask Ms. Henderson if she saw anything suspicious that day?”

Thor looked up sharply. “How do you know my neighbor?”

Loki took a sip of wine and smiled.

“Loki did you set my house on fire?”

Loki laughed at Thor’s shocked tone. “Seriously Thor, I am an investigator. I read the file and she was listed as the one who called 911.”

A relieved sigh busted from Thor’s lungs but that wasn’t the entire truth. Loki didn’t think he’d ever tell Thor the truth about that. “Um, I don’t know. I’ll ask Fury.”

Loki nodded and another silence fell on them but it didn’t last long Loki started complaining about Thor’s methods of putting puzzles together. “You have to do the outer parts first.”

“Says who?” Thor asked looking insulted but Loki’s criticism.

“Every instruction ever made for a puzzle.” Loki assured him in a very matter of fact tone.

Thor smiled. “It’s a suggestion.”

Loki laughed. “Um no. It’s how you do puzzles. And you know those two pieces don’t go together right?”

“They’re both gray.” Thor said as if in order to put puzzles together one must only match colors and not shapes as well.

“But that doesn’t make it right.” Loki was starting to really get worried about Thor’s puzzle completing capabilities. “There is a gap between. They’re supposed to fit snug.”

“It fits.” Thor insisted.

Loki shook his head. “No it doesn’t Thor.”

Thor waved him off. “Listen you do it your way and I do it mine.”

Loki allowed it for the remainder of his glass of wine and the start of his next one before he realized Thor had some of the pieces Loki needed fixed in the wrong places. When he reached out to take it, Thor pulled it out of reach. “I need it.” Loki said.

“No. Not at all. It belongs where I put it.”

“No Thor it doesn’t.” It clearly didn’t. It wasn’t even the same shade of gray so Thor’s whole color argument didn’t even apply. “Give it here.”

“No.” Thor was standing his ground.

Loki’s eyes fixed on Thor determined to get that piece. “Give it to me!”

Thor fixed his eyes on Loki determined to force that piece to fit wherever he wanted to put it. “No.”

Loki stood up to grab it from him but Thor stood up and stepped away. “It’s mine. You know you’ve taken S and M too far when you are trying to dominate a puzzle piece by forcing it to fit in the wrong spot.”

Thor actually laughed at that. It was a guttural sound but it didn’t make Thor hand it over.

“Thor you’re being ridiculous. You know that piece belongs on my side.”

Thor didn’t say anything, just shook his head.

Loki stepped forward and reached for it. Slowly he slid it out Thor’s long, thick fingers. He could smell Thor’s Old Spice and found it oddly erotic.

Loki searched Thor’s face, looking to see the dominance he was so used to seeing but saw none. He realized Thor wasn’t going to start things tonight. If Loki wanted it, he’d have to take it.

He pressed his lips to Thor’s, who opened his mouth to him. Loki pressed his tongue in, kissing him the way he’d kiss Sif. Thor seemed to appreciate it as he ran his fingers through his hair and pressed him closer. But then Loki felt him loosen his grip and instead moved his hand to a less dominating spot on the small of his back.

He was trying not to dominate him. He was trying to curb his natural instincts in order to make Loki more comfortable.

It made Loki’s cock harden so fast he got dizzy.

He deepened the kiss while starting to unbutton Thor’s plaid shirt. Thor allowed him to take the lead for a while longer before reaching for Loki’s shirt to pull it over his head. “Where are we?” He asked breathlessly.

It took a minute for Loki to realize Thor was giving him the option of safe wording, even now, when Loki was in the more dominant position. “Green Thor. So green.”

Thor smiled as he pulled Loki’s shirt off and they tumbled into the bed with Loki on top. Loki straddled him, grinding down on the man who groaned. “You feel so good Loki.” Thor breathed.

Loki was losing control. He suddenly wanted skin on skin contact and started to struggle to get Thor out of his jeans. When he succeeded in that, Thor helped him out of his own, he resumed in his position grinding down on Thor.

Thor planted his hands on Loki’s hips, encouraging him to move faster. Loki felt Thor’s hand straying closer to his butt and then felt his hands parting his cheeks. “Where are we?”

Loki knew what he was asking. He was asking if it was alright to touch there. He was asking if he was ready. “Green. Still green.”

Loki felt Thor’s hand glide over his entrance. Surprisingly, it actually a nice feeling. After a few moments, he found himself wanting more. “Do it Thor.”

Thor groaned. “I need lube.”

“Tell me where it is.” Loki breathed

“Third draw in my room.”

Loki got up and went to retrieve the lube. When he opened the third draw in Thor’s dresser he also saw a box of condoms. Figuring he would save sometime if they needed them later, he grabbed those too try to ignore the other toys in the dresser.

When he returned around he saw Thor laying on his back, stoking his erection. A sudden case of nerves flooded his gut. Thor was long and even more than he was thick. He suddenly felt like maybe he couldn’t do this. He should have left the condoms in the room.

He walked towards him anyway and took his position back straddling Thor placing the lube and the condoms on the bed next to Thor’s head.

“Hey.” Thor said rubbing his back. “Are you still with me? You seems a little apprehensive now.”

How the hell did Thor know? Loki was good at masking his true feelings but it always seemed Thor could see right through him.

“Listen,” He continued when Loki didn’t response. “We’ll go back to what we were doing. When you’re ready we’ll move on and if you aren’t we don’t.”

Loki swallowed and nodded.

Thor’s finger resumed its slow circle around Loki’s entrance. After a few moments Loki relaxed again and he remembered by he grabbed the condoms when he saw them. “I’m ready Thor, do it.”

It was his middle finger that he slid in, Loki could tell because of the length of it. It was intrusive and for a moment felt odd. He was about to ask him to stop when the tip of Thor’s finger hit a spot in him that sent a shock wave of pleasure through him.

He groaned deep as Thor touched it again. “More,” Loki said. “Harder.”

“I need to add another finger for that.” Thor’s voice was rough and low.

“Do it, do it.” Loki was worried he’d lose his courage if they didn’t move things forward soon.

When the other finger joined the first it burned but the pressure on his prostate increased and it caused him to grind down hard to the fingers. After a few moments Loki gasped. “More, more.”

Thor swore taking his fingers away. He reached for a condom and handed it to Loki. “Suit me up and grease me.”

Loki was shaking slightly as he did so. His cock was aching a way it never had before he. He hoped he’d come tonight. It would take him forever to calm down with the way he ached. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Just a few hours earlier he was surprised at Darcy’s bravery in taking a spanking and now he was straddling Thor like he’d been taking cock for years.

“Fuck!” Thor’s swearing took Loki out his thoughts. Thor was thrusting up into Loki’s hands, his testicles tight and drawn to his body.

Loki released him and moved up. Thor made no motion to stop when he positioned him at his opening and pushed down.

The initial pain made Loki cry put and tense.

Thor sat up some, holding on to Loki’s hips. “No kitten. Don’t tense. Go slow, let your body adjust.”

Loki took Thor’s advice. Each inch that Thor slid in, Loki took a moment to calm himself down. It took a several minutes, but Loki managed to push all but an inch in.

The grip on his hips tightened almost to pain when Thor let out a string of explicit words. His eyes were screwed shut and teeth were grinding. Loki smiled, Thor was going to come.

Loki knew Thor hadn’t orgasmed in a few days and when they made out on the couch, Thor hadn’t completed. He imagined Thor wasn’t going to last long. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only one off his game. “I guess you should have rubbed one out first.”

Thor laughed. “Yeah.” He actually looked a bit embarrassed. It made Loki feel even more comfortable.

Loki went to move. But Thor only arched up and stilled Loki’s slim hips. “Wait, wait!”

Loki stilled but an involuntary twitch in his rectum caused Thor to shout out. The next twitch wasn’t nearly as involuntary but caused the same panicked shout.

Loki grinned wickedly as Thor struggled to control himself. “Stop Loki.”

Loki just sped up his twitches until Thor arched and released with a rumbling groan.

When Thor was able to catch his breath, he swatted Loki’s butt cheek. “Naughty Kitten.”

Loki smiled and unseated himself, laying on his side as he watched Thor stand up and go to the bathroom to clean up.

Loki tried to get a hold of himself. His cock aching horribly but he knew trying to get himself off would only make it worse. He was proud of himself for going through with it though. With that hurdle out of the way, he could worry about other areas of their relationship. He knew he could take it.

He listened to the sounds of the television. With his eyes closed he could imagine it actually was raining outside. It helped him calm his breathing. It relaxed him. It sounded like rain hitting the ground and the roar of the thunder was a sound he would never tire of hearing.

“Are you sore?” Loki hadn’t even hear Thor return from the bathroom.

“No.” Loki answered turning around to face him. He watched Thor walk back to the bed, erect again. “Oh.” He said as Thor rejoined him in the bed and claimed his lips in another kiss.

When the kiss ended, both men were breathless again. Thor pulled Loki back on top of him encouraging Loki to straddle him again. “Put another condom on me and grease me up again.” He sounded more in control now but still not demanding.

That coupled with the thunder roaring behind him, Loki didn’t even have the chance to tense.

Loki did as instructed and slid Thor back into him with a groan. This time, Thor slid in more easily but the burn was still there. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as before, but he still couldn’t put the last inch in.

It took him a moment but he soon started a slow up and down motion. Thor left it to him for a little while before gripping his hips and changing the angle. The new angle forced Thor’s cock to glide over Loki’s prostate causing Loki to whimper.

“Geez Thor!” Loki sped up making that cock glide over his prostate over and over.

Thor smiled, much more relaxed than he was the first time. “Let me on top baby. I promise I won’t do anything you won’t like.”

Loki nodded and let himself be flipped on his back. Thor opened his legs wide and delivered three strong thrusts from head to base having Loki take every inch of his cock. The extra inch didn’t hurt as much as Loki thought it would. Although it put his body under a bit more pressure, it didn’t deflate his arousal at all.

Thor trust in deep. “Wrap your legs around my back.”

Loki responded quickly.

“No higher.” Thor urged.

Loki did as encouraged and felt Thor’s blunt head slide on his prostate. He arched off the bed gasping at intense pleasure.

Thor kept his thrusts quick, short and deep. The constant rub on Loki’s prostate was causing harsh shudders through Loki’s lean frame.

“Thor, oh geez Thor, I think I’m going to come.” Loki was surprised at how quickly he got to that point but hoped it would grow until it overwhelmed him.

Thor kept his thrusts constant and consistent, but Loki could feel the orgasm slipping out his reach again. He whined pitifully as his thrusts became more erratic.

“Shhh Kitten calm down.” Thor shrugged off Loki’s thighs, gripped his hips and delivered six perfectly aimed strong thrusts to Loki’s prostate, causing Loki to bite into his lip until he drew blood. Then Thor encouraged Loki to wrap his legs back around his back and continued those short thrusts again.

Loki arched his back. “I’m so close.” Loki felt panicked. His orgasm was building fast, his spine tingling. “Don’t stop Thor please.”

Thor moved faster as shivers took over Loki’s body. He was gasping for air, while clawing at Thor’s back. “Come on Kitten.” Thor urged. “You can do it.”

Loki felt the first contraction in a place inside of him he’d never felt. It caused his back to arch in an awkward position and his eyes to close. The next contraction hit him the same way. Every muscle in his body tensed.

“Fuck Loki, you’re having dry orgasms. Turn over.” Thor took control then, pulling out only long enough to flip Loki on all fours. He pushed back in causing Loki to shudder hard as a fresh wave of contractions hit him.

“Thor!” There was no rise now. The orgasms were hitting him without warning sometimes starting before the last one finished.

His cock ached horribly. He reached down to tug on himself, to end this pleasurable torture, but Thor grabbed his wrists and held them with one hand behind Loki’s back. “Don’t you dare.” He ground out.

Loki’s body slackened unable to fight anymore as another set of contractions made his vision blur.

“You’re coming so hard Loki.” Thor said. “Fuck it’s so good.”

Loki couldn’t even form words as his body continued heave and contract. Thor was hitting his prostate with horrible accuracy and the sound of the storm on the television only seemed to heighten his pleasure. Loki could hardly catch his breath. At the end of one contraction, Loki felt a contraction he was familiar with. His first shot of semen shot so far it hit the head bored. The second fell short only a centimeter of the headboard. The pleasure was so intense, he couldn’t make a sound.

“That’s it Kitten.” Thor encouraged. “That’s my Kitten let it out.”

Seven strong shots left Loki in total, but the dry contractions didn’t seem to care one bit that his cock had ejaculated. His cock was still hard and Thor was still thrusting strong in him.

“Thor,” Loki begged. “Thor please.”

“What is it Kitten? What is it you need? You want it harder?” Thor released Loki’s hands, gripped his slender hips and started to give strong, harsh, unrelenting thrusts to Loki’s prostate.

Loki arms fell to his sides limply as a shout tore out his throat. His cock twitched and let out four more shots of sperm before deflating completely. To his astonishment, Loki realized Thor was not planning to stop. His body quickly became hyper sensitive. Each thrust to his prostate was causing explosive sensations through his body. The contractions were still stopping and starting without warning and now the hits to his prostate was taking the breath from his lungs.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He could barely breathe and Thor was showing no signs of stopping. Swallowing his pride he admitted to himself that he could not take a fucking from Thor. “Yellow.” He whimpered.

Thor immediately pulled out and distantly, Loki felt him pulling himself to completion. He would have been happy to help but he still had no control of his limbs. Even without Thor inside him, the contractions were still over taking him. They were lessening in intensity but it was still strong enough that his body seized and moans where torn from him.

He felt Thor’s arms wrap around him. “Oh my Kitten you’ve got the best bottom I’ve ever had.” He was placing kisses on his neck. “Don’t fight them, just let them happen.” It was hard to do but he tried to relax his body in Thor’s hold as the contractions starting ebbing away. Never in his life had he felt anything like that.

Thor continued to rub his back, helping him to settle down. “You really are beautiful Loki. I know it’s selfish, but I’m happy you haven’t met another man that you were willing to sleep with. Knowing no one else has had the privilege to show you what your body can do makes me so hard. There is so much more to show you Kitten.”

“You’re not helping me calm down Thor!” Loki complained as the dry orgasms continued to shake his frame.

Thor laughed. “Sorry. I just… I’m so happy to be here with you. To see you wracked with pleasure.”

The orgasms were finally subsiding leaving his body throbbing with a dull ache. Loki sighed in relief before he shifted restlessly in Thor’s strong arms for a moment before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

He wasn’t sure how long he was out before he felt Thor get out of the bed and cleaning things up. When Thor clicked off the television he groaned. “No, leave it on.” Thor clicked the storm sounds back on but lowered it some before returning to bed and gathering him back in his arms. “Laufey didn’t like thunder storms.” Loki said, unable to stop himself from speaking. He hadn’t even told Sif why he loved thunderstorms and he really didn’t know why he was telling Thor. “He wouldn’t come for me during storms.” He sighed, exhaustion taking over him. “He won’t come for me now.” Was the last conscious thing he said before sleep over took him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sif has returned and there is hell to pay. But by whom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no beta. I reread it but I'm human. There's probably some mistakes.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and likes and kudos! I get so excited when I see them lol

Thor was stressed out. It had been a tiring day for all of them and it was showing no signs of getting any better.

It started that morning when he woke up with the strange feeling like he was being watched. When he opened his eyes, he saw a red faced and fuming Sif standing over him and Loki who were still naked and tangled in each other.

Crap.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She was seething mad and she looked like she was about to start foaming at the mouth.

Her angry voice woke Loki who took a moment to realize it was Sif standing over him. A smile spread over his face, obviously he was happy to see her but he looked lethargic. He was still affected by their session last night and Thor had wanted to bring him down to earth before taking him on another emotional rollercoaster.

For one small fleeting moment, Thor thought maybe Sif recognized the blissed look and would at least hold her tongue until Loki wasn’t as raw. And maybe she did think it but her anger took her over so when Loki reached a hand over to grab her hand she flinched away as his touch was fire. “Don’t touch me.” She spit out at him.

His face crumbled immediately and he sat up quicker than he should have. He looked unsteady as he tried to reach for her again. “What’s wrong?”

“You can’t figure it out!” She was screaming now. “You let Thor fuck you!”

Thor watched as Loki searched for words. He could tell Loki’s mind was running on slow because Loki was always quick with his words. What came out was an unintelligent, “Oh.”

“Oh? Oh? That’s what you have to say?” It seemed now Loki’s state of mind was enraging her more. “He fucked you stupid did he?” She took a breath and through clenched she demanded to know. “Did you orgasm with him?”

Loki’s face suddenly took on the look of a guilty man and it propelled Thor out of bed and to get Sif away from Loki. There was no way he was going to allow Sif to ruin, in three seconds, what it took him days to obtain.

She was crying now but Thor suspected she wasn’t mad that Loki slept Thor so much as it hurt her pride that he was able to get Loki through an orgasm and she couldn’t. At least not with any consistency. He grabbed her arm ready to escort her out of Loki’s sanctuary and into the bedroom when Loki sprang into action pushing Thor off her.

This wasn’t a dominant protecting his submissive, but rather a husband coming to the defense of his wife. Thor wasn’t the least bit insulted in Loki’s response. “Don’t put your hands on her like that. She’s upset.”

“And you aren’t?” Thor countered. “I’m taking her into the bedroom to calm her down. You are going sit here and wait for me to come back.”

“Oh am I?” Loki was not backing down and Thor couldn’t really blame him. In fact he related with Loki in that drive to protect. Only Thor was driven to Loki.

Instead of grabbing Sif again he grabbed Loki’s arm. It was a strong enough hold to show Loki he was taking control of this situation, but loose enough that he didn’t bruise him. Sif did not come to his rescue. “Loki, you have to trust me to take care of things.”

“She is my wife.” Loki reminded him.

“And you are my submissive who is still coming down from a high. You are not emotionally capable of having this conversation right now and she is too upset to engage you rationally. Our perfect night now has a stain on it and I have to find a way to remove it.”

Loki probably would have fought had his brain not still been foggy. He deflated and let Thor take Sif into the bedroom.

Sif was still crying when they reached the bedroom and Thor closed the door. He took a steadying breath before addressing her. “For one moment Sif, I want you to think beyond yourself and think about our world. Loki just had his first real scene and though he was not worked over hard, it was a strain on him. Think about what you feel like even if we just had sex, no real kink. Now think about it how it feels for him to becoming down from a high and thinking he had disappointed both his dominate and his wife in one single act.”

That seemed to bring Sif back to Earth. He eyes dried and her angry face sobered.

“Yes I fucked him. Yes he came. That we can discuss later. Right now I want you to sit on this bed until I get back and think about what emotional damage you just caused him. I want you to think back to the very first time you submitted to someone and imagine someone you love coming in telling you how angry it made them that you did it.”

Thor left then, trying to shake off his anger before going back to see Loki. When he walk back into the room, Loki was dressed and looking miserable. “Is she alright?”

“She is not who I’m concerned with right now. Why did you get dressed?” Thor knew why. He was feeling exposed and vulnerable and the layers of clothes was used to distance himself.

Loki shrugged.

“Take them off.”

“I don’t feel like having sex.” Was Loki’s quick answer.

“I didn’t tell you we were having sex. I told you to get undressed.” Thor clarified.

Loki hesitated but Thor would cut him some slack with this. This was all very new to him. Eventually Loki did start to strip.

“Good Kitten. Now get back in the bed.” Thor ordered a little more softly.

Loki obeyed but went a step further and covered himself. Usually that was a punishable offense, but again, Thor didn’t think he should punish Loki yet for things he didn’t know and he didn’t have it in him to teach him anything after Sif’s rampage. Right now he was doing damage control. After care was a critical part on the scene and after care didn’t just mean immediately after the sex. Depending on the sub, after care could be needed days after.

He settled on top of Loki, who laid stiff under him. “You were wonderful last night. So responsive. So beautiful.”

Loki started to calm some. “I’ve never felt anything like that.”

“Was it good?” Thor knew it was good. You don’t move and moan the way Loki did if you didn’t enjoy it. But he wanted to hear exactly how much and if there was anything about last night that Loki didn’t like.

Loki looked contemplative which was a good thing. He was remembering last night not just answering without thought. “I think so. It was overwhelming.”

That it was. “I tried to let you lead.”

“Oh really? You tried to let me lead?” Can Loki’s sarcastic reply. “Was that when you flipped me over on my hands and knees? Oh no I know, you let me lead by pinning my arms behind my back.”

Thor gave a throaty laugh. “I guess that’s when I took over.”

Loki snorted.

“But did you like it? Thor pressed. Though he loved to hear if he satisfied Loki, he also wanted to make sure it was a kink Loki enjoyed. Just because he came from it, that didn’t mean he actually wanted to experience it again.

Loki swallowed seeming like he was struggling to answer.

Thor smiled. His kitten had a shy streak. “I’ll make it easy for you. Did you like it when you were filled?”

Loki licked his lips. “Yes.”

“That’s good Kitten because I enjoyed filling you. Did you enjoy it when I took over? When I took charge?” That was really what Thor wanted to know wasn’t it? Everyone liked sex and he was eighty percent sure Loki was a bottom, perhaps if what happened to him as a child hadn’t happened he would have been a top from the bottom, but he would have been a bottom none the less.

“Yes.” Loki answered.

Thor smiled happy to hear it. “I knew you’d be perfect Kitten.” He leaned down as kissed him then, slow and deep. “There is one more thing we need to talk about.”

“What?” Loki was much more comfortable now, his slender hands on Thor’s broad shoulders.

Thor would have to be careful approaching this subject. All subs struggled with this though at different aspects of it. “You safe worded.” Some subs safe worded for everything, some for nothing and some, Like Loki, used slow words when stop words is what should have been used.

Loki frowned and squirmed a little bit beneath him. He was uncomfortable again. “You said I should, and there’d be no guilt.”

“I did say that and there is no guilt. I know now that I can trust you to tell me when I’m going too far. It means I can get rougher with you.”

“Then what do we need to discuss?” Thor was happy Loki wasn’t intimidated by things getting rougher.

“You used the wrong word again. You were over sensitive and it was starting to hurt but you said yellow not red.” Thor explained.

“I wanted you to still get off.” Loki told him. “I knew you’d stop everything if I said red.”

Statements like that made Thor’s cock harden and his mouth water. Statements like that made Loki sound more slave than sub and the idea of owning this man so completely was appealing to Thor.

“I need you to be honest Kitten.” Thor kept his tone light. Loki was still recovering from yesterday and a negative comment would hurt him more than usual.

“Ok.” Loki answered him and it was the right answer but Thor knew this was a lesson they’d have to repeat.

He decided to let the topic go and just enjoy the body underneath him. “Let’s shower together.” Thor stood up and dragged a reluctant Loki out the bed.

“I’ve never showered with anyone.” Loki told him.

“Really.” It did surprise Thor. Sif loved showers with him. “It’s a sensual experience.”

Loki grabbed a sheet to cover himself but Thor stopped him. “Again with covering yourself? I want you naked Loki. You have a beautiful body and I want to enjoy it.”

“People don’t just walk around naked.” Was Loki’s rational response. “It’s weird.”

“It’s weird only because someone told you it was. If I could Loki I’d keep you naked, hard and filled all day and night.”

“Geez Thor!” Loki allowed himself to be dragged into the bathroom and let Thor close the door behind them.

Once he had Loki in the bathroom he started the water. “Lean over the sink. I’ve got to check you.”

Loki frowned. “Check what?”

“If you’ve been torn.” Thor explained. “I was rough with you at the end.”

Loki continued to look at Thor as if he’d lost his mind. “Torn what?”

Thor gave Loki an amused smile. It had been a long time since he had to break someone in. “Loki, I don’t like repeating myself. Do as I told you.”

Loki swallowed hard but did as he asked.

“Open yourself to me.” Was Thor’s next demand as he stared at Loki’s eyes through the mirror.

“Thor come on!” It was a demand too far, Thor knew.

“Kitten I’ve been in you. Why is the idea of me looking at you so mortifying?” A lot of new subs found these intimacies more embarrassing than the actual acts. He understood why but Loki voicing it was just as important as getting him to obey. This was how he got to understand how Loki thought and what made him tick.

Loki looked at him through the mirror as if he was stupid. “Because it’s gross.”

Thor smiled. “There is nothing gross about your body. You’re beautiful everywhere. Now do what I told you do Loki and spread your pretty cheeks.

“Well since you asked so nicely.” Loki did as he asked but turned his gaze away from the mirror so he couldn’t see Thor bend down behind him.

That shy look was what Thor lived for.

Thor bent down. There was no swelling and nothing was torn but he could see old scars. His poor Kitten endured more than anyone should have ever lived. He couldn’t understand how someone could be so cruel especially to a child. As if Loki asked to be born.

“Can you tell?” Loki’s voice broke him from his thoughts.

When Thor looked back up Loki was looking right at him, his head turned towards him as steam started to fill the room. All shyness gone. There was something else in his eyes. Something he couldn’t identify. “Can I tell what?”

“That I’ve been used.” The words were said with such certainty and sadness.

Thor grimaced as if Loki’s words hurt him physically. “You aren’t used.” Thor stood up and turned Loki in his arms. “Don’t say it again.”

“Will I get squirted in the face?” Loki smiled in an attempt to lighten the dark mood his question had made.

Thor would let the topic go for now, but that line of thinking is what drew abusers to Loki. He had to get Loki to love himself or Loki would never be able to love him. “I’ll wash your mouth out with Palmolive.”

“Why Palmolive?” Loki frowned in a grossed out way.

“So you can blow bubbles and I could put you on Facebook.” Thor was joking but a small look of distaste did pass over Loki’s face. From that Thor knew Loki was not an exhibitionist. “Come on, let’s shower.”

Thor pulled him into the warm shower and washed him down and then he had Loki wash him down. Surprisingly, Loki seemed more uncomfortable being washed than washing him. He was used to serving but not being served. He was uncomfortable in his own skin.

Wrapped in a fluffy towel, Thor sat Loki on the bed. “Now, we’re going into the bedroom and I’m going to punish Sif for her insolence. You will do what I say, you will not speak.”

Loki frowned. “What are you going to do with her?”

“That’s for me to know.” Thor had to use his dom voice. He needed Loki to understand that this wasn’t just a game to him. This was a way of life and the same way Sif ruined his after scene afterglow, he didn’t want Loki to ruin hers.

Bitch or not, it was his responsibility to make sure everyone got what they wanted.

“Thor…” Loki started.

“Loki, you have to trust me with her.” Thor interrupted. “You have to know I wouldn’t do anything to her that we haven’t at some point discussed.”

“But I was never included with that.” Loki stated bluntly and Thor liked this bluntness. That way, he could address the problem head on.

“Our contract stated that you’d participate if you wanted.” Thor explained calmly.

Loki nodded, eyes up in the sky a look of mischief taking over his face. “So if I didn’t want to?”

Thor knew Loki was testing the waters, trying to find ways around explicitly written rules. “You safe word or shut up.” Thor smiled.

Loki smirked but closed his lips.

000

Sif waited on the bed torn. She always hated to see Loki receiving the attentions of another person. Male or female it sparked jealousy in her. But she also knew what it was like not to receive proper after care. She had even taught Loki a few things about subspace just to be make sure she got what she needed. Keeping that from Loki was cruel. But Loki’s betrayal was cruel as well.

The door opened and Thor walked in fully dressed followed by Loki who was wrapped in a towel. “Get on the bed.” Thor pointed to Loki who followed as he said.

Thor looked at Sif. “Do you have something to say to your husband?”

It burned her that he’d call Loki that when he knew she didn’t view Loki as a husband. He was driving home that she should have treated him better based on his status in her life. “I’m sorry Loki.”

Loki just blinked at her which told her he was under speech restriction. She knew Loki and even times when Loki knew she was in the wrong, he would have never allowed her to apologize. He would have taken the blame.

“You’re not to say another word.” Thor told her. “We’re going to put your mouth to better use.”

She watched as Thor went into his draw and withdrew the open mouth gag.

She hated that thing. It left her throat open and vulnerable. And Thor was big.

He fastened it around her head. He pulled her off the bed and then down onto her knees. “I’m sure you know what to do.”

It made it a thousand times worse that she knew behind her, Loki was sitting on the bed. She unzipped Thor and pulled him out. She knew once it was in her mouth, he’d take over forcing himself deep in her throat regardless of whether or not she gagged.

She took a deep breath and dove forward. She felt his strong hand thread through her hair and still her head before he pushed forward roughly. She gagged and sputtered, he neck muscles working to accommodate the girth him. The pace was fast and punishing and soon tears were falling out of her blue eyes.

When she looked up, Thor’s eyes were steady on her but he took glances at Loki. She wondered if Loki was hard or if he was angry at Thor’s treatment of her. She wanted Loki to be mad at her punishment. She wanted Loki to get off the bed and tell Thor that he should take the brunt of his anger instead of her.

But he didn’t.

Thor’s thrusts stopped and she hoped the punishment was over but when the grip on her head tightened, she knew Thor had just begun. He thrust in hard jabs causing her to choke and struggle to cough. His pace had quickened and she hoped he’d cum soon. Spit was leaking out the sides of her mouth as he roughly pulled out and started shrugging out his clothes.

“Take off the robe.” She heard Thor say but she didn’t dare turn around as he walked over to Loki. She knew better than that.

But she knew Loki hesitated when he heard Thor huff. “Kitten you’ve earned yourself a punishment. Remove your robe.”

Sif struggled to catch her breath but a bit of her was happy Loki was struggling with it. She knew, as much as Thor was attracted to Loki, he could never surrender to him. Loki would never be able to surrender to anyone. He’d never sub probably but she could. And she would always outshine Loki in this.

Loki must have decided to comply because soon she heard a small hitch of his breath. She knew that it was a sound pleasure though and not a sound of punishment.

“Come here Sif.” Thor’s voice was rough and when she turned around, she knew why. He had positioned himself under Loki and was balls deep in him with Loki’s back to his chest. The position forced Loki into an awkward position, his back arched, his legs wide and his arms struggling to keep himself up.

The sight of it was enough to make her wet. There was something so attractive about two men together and these two particular men were gorgeous. Loki’s pale skin against Thor’s tanned skin made him look almost like porcelain. Loki was an attractive man, she never denied that. She just didn’t like what he was on the inside.

Regardless, she went to them as her dominant ordered. He grabbed her head roughly and shoved Loki’s long cock into her mouth which caused him to arch in a manner that must not have felt good to his back. As a result, it cause him to try to sit up, which only impaled him onto Thor’s cock.

Loki wasn’t Thor, but his dick was long enough that it was at times difficult to get all of him in her. He’d never forced himself in her throat before and she found herself struggling to breathe through Thor’s set speed.

She looked up to see Loki, his green eyes closed to her, his mouth parted and his head thrown back. She couldn’t see Thor’s face from her position she could tell by the way he was speeding her mouth on Loki that he was close. He arched under Loki and came into him.

When he calmed, he pulled Sif off Loki. “Go into the corner.” He banished her.

She did as bidden.

“Now my Kitten needs to learn to do what I command the first time.” Thor said giving Loki a gentle push off him.

Loki was sprawled on the bed looking wanton and hard as Thor went into the closet to retrieve something. Moments later he returned with prostate massager and started to lube it. “Now you are going to follow my every command. For each time you hesitate, I will add another orgasm to the two you’ve already earned.”

Post orgasm torture was horrible. She hated it and was pretty sure Loki would hate it too. The most Thor had ever gotten out of her was two and it was excruciating. There was no way Loki was going to go through with that.

“Put it in you.” Thor demanded.

As expected, Loki did not immediately respond and Thor smiled evilly. “That’s three now Kitten.”

Loki frowned, obviously not pleased with the situation and Sif felt a little better in her position. She took her punishment without hesitation, Loki would always hesitate. He’d always challenge. And now with three expected orgasms for the day already, she knew he’d fail Thor.

She watched as Loki spread his thighs but she knew it wasn’t because he was ordered. It was more because he was curious as to what it was going to feel like. She got Loki to do a lot of things because of his curiosity.

He worked it in.

Thor smiled. “Now stroke yourself.”

Loki didn’t hesitate this time but he stopped when the prostate massager started to vibrate in him.

“Did I tell you to stop?” Thor asked.

Loki started stroking again but had started thrusting his hips softly. He started to get this glazed look in his eyes. He was enjoying himself she could tell.

Thor was standing by the dresser admiring the view of Loki spread out on the bed. She couldn’t blame him for taking in the show. Sif couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Loki so into sex. It certainly hadn’t been that way for the last two years.

Suddenly his back arched and he groaned deep in his throat. But no semen had left his body.

“Are you cheating Loki?” Thor asked his deep voice free of anger and filled with amusement. “Can you imagine Sif, all the Kitten needed to come was a cock in his ass.”

Sif huffed as Loki continued to fall apart on the bed and Thor came sauntering over to her. He released the gag from her mouth. “Not a sound.”

She nodded her response.

Thor walked back over to Loki on the bed and pulled out prostate massager. “That doesn’t count Kitten. I meant three full orgasms.”

Loki didn’t verbally respond but he tried to wiggle away from Thor. There was nowhere to go though. When Thor wanted something he took it. It was what attracted her to him.

Thor grabbed one of Loki’s long legs and dragged him back to the center of the bed. “I’m going to take you harder than I did last night. I want no words unless you are safe wording. Sounds are fine, I like to hear you purr.”

Without any further warning Thor thrust forward and filled Loki completely. A rough groan was torn from Loki’s chest. Hard was not even the right word for what he was doing to Loki.

His thrusts were so strong he had pounded Loki back up the bed and with both hands on the headboard Thor was hammering into Loki so hard the bed was moving. He’d been rough with her before, but it was never like this. Loki was clawing at Thor’s back but made no move to stop him. Suddenly Loki arched his back and shuddered hard.

“Can you imagine Sif?” Thor asked low and rough never wavering in his rhythm. “If I could cum like that I would never leave the bed.”

She had no idea Loki could even have dry orgasms. It never occurred to her to add prostate stimulation to their sex. But then, she didn’t think Loki would have allowed her to.

But he allowed Thor.

There were sounds coming out of Loki’s mouth that she had never heard before. Loki was always so silent when they had sex but it seemed he became something different when laying with a man.

Thor seemed absorbed in Loki. There was a small, smug smile on his face as he gazed down at Loki who was losing his mind beneath him.

A chocked sound came from Loki and suddenly his shot his scum high into the air. Thor actually laughed as he pulled Loki closer. “There we go Kitten. Let’s have some fun now.”

Thor positioned Loki so that his hips were tilted up and his legs were wrapped around his back. Thor knelt up forcing Loki to to lay on his upper back and shoulders which restricted his movements. His thrusts became deep and short and he had pulled Loki’s foreskin back and started rubbing the sensitive tip.

Loki squealed and Sif shuddered in sympathy. She watched her husband shake as if having a seizer but he hadn’t once tried to stop Thor.

“Come on Kitten. You gave me two last night. You can do it again can’t you?” Thor encouraged.

Two? Thor made him cum twice? She struggled to get Loki or climax once!

“Come on Kitten cum for me.” Thor continued to encourage Loki keeping his thrusts deep in Loki’s ass.

Loki arched again and another series of scum shot out of him.

She knew he had to be seriously sensitive now. He was squirming and gripping the sheets until his knuckles turned white. He was grinding his teeth in an attempt to gain control of himself as Thor continued to rub his thick cock over Loki’s prostate and rub the exposed head of his cock.

It bothered her that he wasn’t pushing Thor’s hands away. It bothered her that he wasn’t screaming out he safe words. She knew Thor was pushing his limits. If he got two orgasms last night then he knew Loki would struggle with the third today.

“Can you take it Kitten?” Thor was asking. “Can you take it for me?”

Loki nodded though his eyes were starting to water.

“That’s it Kitten. Why am I forcing these orgasms from you?”

Loki’s voice was horse and his words were coming out between harsh breaths. “Because I’ve… ah! Oh geez! I didn’t respond to you… right away.”

“You won’t hesitate again will you Kitten?” Thor’s voice was filled with amusement and lust. He was enjoying punishing Loki but was equally enjoying that Loki was taking it.

“No… no Thor please! It hurts.” Loki’s voice had taken on a deeper, raspy tone that caused her to close her legs close together.

“I know Kitten.” Thor smoothed a hand over Loki face lovingly. “I want you to hurt. Can you do it for me Kitten? Will you hurt for me?”

Loki nodded and Sif found herself holding her breath. Her thighs were drenched now as she watched as Thor pounded into her husband.

Loki nodded again. “Yes, yes.”

“Cum for me Loki.” Thor was close, she could tell because his rhythm was changing, becoming more erratic. “Oh Loki you feel so good. I can’t get enough.”

Loki was suffering, she could see it in the worried look on his face. She was willing him to safe word but instead he arched and gave Thor the last orgasm. Thor roared his approval now dropping Loki’s slender cock and hold Loki by the hips to slam into him.

“Make me cum.” Thor demanded slapping Loki’s thighs to get him to move with him after Loki slumped in exhaustion.

Loki was dazed and shattered but he managed to prop himself on his arms and started rotating his hips. His arms were shaking and Thor must have still been hitting his prostate because he was mewling and shaking horribly.

Another slap to his thigh left a palm print. “Grip me Loki. Come on Kitten it’s your job to make me cum. Focus!”

Loki nodded, winded and sweating. He moved fast and must have been using his muscles because Thor was groaning his approval. “Yes, yes Loki. That’s it, you got it. I’m close. You’re silk Loki. My Kitten!”

Thor arched and came inside of Loki. She hoped he’d allow her to cum too.

Thor removed himself from Loki’s body. “Clean your husband, he’s out of it.”

He really was. He was shivering harshly, obviously from aftershocks and his eyes looked unfocused. It wasn’t a deep subspace but it was certainly the beginning stages.

She had to fight to get into subspace and here he was, right at the cusp looking boneless and exhausted from nothing more than hard sex and over stimulation.

She did as commanded as Thor cleaned himself. She realized Thor wasn’t going to allow her release, when he grabbed pajama pants from out the closet. It was another reminder that she was not in charge of the situation and if he wanted Loki, he’d take him the same way he took her. She laid next to Loki leaving Thor to lay on the outer part of the bed so she was in the middle. Loki had already won the award of draining Thor’s cock, there was no way she’d allow him to take his comforts today as well.

“I think we’re due a nap.” Thor said taking the available space.

She was too bothered to sleep right away though Thor passed out when his head hit the pillow. Loki took a punishment that she would have safe worded while receiving. But then, she knew outside of sex Loki would fail in following commands and Thor would tire of the nightly punishments.

Being a dom was hard work when you have a sub who couldn’t take direction. Sure it was fun when you got to punish someone, but it was tiring to do night after night and for the same thing. Loki was stubborn and rebellious. He would never fall for a man, not after what men did to him.

That was good enough to get her to relax enough to sleep.

000

Loki woke up to a dull throb in his body. He felt well used but not at all hurting. He didn’t know how Thor managed to do that but he was happy he did. Thor was particularly rough with him and he thought for sure he’d in some amount of pain. He just felt thoroughly fucked but not hurt.

He turned and saw Sif snuggled into Thor’s side and suddenly felt lonely. He was still the third party in a couple despite the fact that he was actually paired with Sif. It was odd to feel so alone while in bed with two other people but then he often felt alone in a room full of people.

He looked away and sighed not sure what he was doing. He was supposed to be working on pleasing Sif but instead he had become consumed with pleasing Thor within the last week. Sif wasn’t going to be happy with him, even after Thor’s forced apology. She would find a way to get her unhappiness across but Loki was surprised that he wasn’t really worried about it. He hadn’t been able to please her in a long time and he didn’t think he’d suddenly start now.

Sif was turning out to be a lost cause. There was nothing he could do to make Sif love him again, but he had a shot with Thor. He thought perhaps he should shift his focus to that and allow her to leave as she had wanted to all those years ago.

A sudden movement in his hair drew his attention to the two sleeping people next to him. It was a smiling Thor that was rubbing is scalp with the arm Sif was sleeping on. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” Came Loki’s lie. It was easy to do. He’s been telling people he was fine since he was a child. Even after his father beat him.

“Was it too much?” Thor asked with concern in his voice.

Loki shook his head. “I wanted you to be happy.” Even after the discussion about safe words, all Loki really wanted was Thor to enjoy being with him.

IT’s all he wanted for Sif too.

“That’s not what I asked you.” Thor admonished lightly.

“No it wasn’t too much.” Loki answered. “It was uncomfortable though. I wouldn’t like a repeat of that.” Yes he would. Just not as a punishment.

Thor smiled. “Good. No more hesitations then.”

Loki sighed knowing he was never successful at learning a lesson. “I want to say I’ve learned my lesson but you might ask something of me that I wouldn’t be quick to do and I just might hesitate.”

Thor snorted. “Kitten I don’t want perfection, I want you to try and communicate with me.”

Loki nodded. “I’m hungry, I’m going to get something to eat. Do you want something?”

“No, you’ve exhausted me.”

Now Loki snorted. “Right, I exhausted you.”

“Hey get my phone and charge it for me please?” Thor asked yawning and snuggling into the bed.

Loki grabbed the phone walking to the kitchen knowing he shouldn’t look through it. He should just put it on the charger and walk away. As rational as that sounded, it wasn’t what Loki wanted to do. Everything in him wanted to open his phone and read through his contacts, messages and emails though he knew he shouldn’t.

It was that kind of behavior that Sif hated. Actually she both hated and loved his jealous streak, Loki knew. It made her feel loved and smothered at the same time.

To Loki, it wasn’t so much that he was jealous as he was possessive. He liked the attention of his significant other. When they first got together, Sif was on his mind all the time and he wanted to be on her mind all the time. Sharing her attention was a huge gift for her but she didn’t seem to appreciate it.

Despite himself, he opened Thor’s phone. He should really speak to Thor about keep a passcode on there, though that really wouldn’t have stopped Loki. He could break codes, bank accounts, locks… but that was all in another life. He tried not to utilize those skills anymore.

He read through the emails first. It was mostly work emails, nothing of any interest so he moved to text messages. One was from Fury, “Got new info, call me back.”

Loki wondered if they finally found out there was an accelerant used in Thor’s fire. Fire investigations were so slow. It took forever for them to come up with evidence it was ridiculous. There were far less fires than crimes, but then in fires a lot of evidence was burned.

The next batch of messages was from Natasha. There was some back and forth from the two. “Bruce is on punishment. He lost his temper again!”

Followed by Thor’s, “I think he does it for your attention.”

“… crap then I gave him exactly what he wanted L.”

“LOL he played you.”

“Have you gotten Loki to spread for you yet? There is a slave in need of a master.”

Slave? Was there a difference between slave and sub? Was Bruce a slave?

“He needs so much. I want him to want it as much as I do.” Was Thor’s last text to her and there was no response yet. It was sent last night, probably before he got home.

He was about to open the next batch of messages when he heard Thor behind him suddenly clearing his throat. Loki nearly jumped out of his skin.

“What are you doing Kitten?” He asked, one blond eyebrow high to his hairline.

Loki thought about lying but he couldn’t think of a good enough reason to be looking through his phone. So he blurted out the obvious with confidence. As if there was nothing wrong with reading other people’s emails. “Reading your messages.”

Thor didn’t look that upset but he had a perturbed look on his face. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to.” Seemed like a good enough answer to Loki.

That seemed to upset him though. He came walking in the kitchen like he was about to engage in a fight. “Are you trying to top me from the bottom?”

Now it was Loki’s turn to look perturbed. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“It isn’t your place to look through my messages.” Thor explained. “You are not my dominant. I am your dominant.” To prove his point, Thor stepped into Loki’s space.

The problem was, Loki knew he wasn’t the alpha male in the group but he wasn’t one to be intimidated either. That annoyed alphas. As it was annoying Thor now.

He kept his eyes level with Thor’s and his head high. “So what you’re saying is that it’s ok for you to ready my messages but I can’t read yours.”

“Precisely.” Thor said with a strong nod and a wide smile.

Loki raised a brow but stayed silent as he and Thor started a starring contest. Loki looking indignant and unrepentant and Thor looking smug and confident.

“Do you need a reminder of your place?” Eventually when he realized Loki was not going to budge first.

Now Loki smiled. “I know my place Thor. I’ve been in it often enough these past few days. But you act like my position is one of subordinate.”

Thor turned is head like a confused dog. “Is it not?”

“No. You can’t do anything unless I ok it. I can start a scene, get you all hot and bothered and then safe word and leave you aching and hard.” Loki smiled seductively. “I have to tell you what will be permitted to do to me and what my limit are. You may wield the whip, but I have all the power to say when, where and how hard I want it. So yes, please, show me my place.”

The look on Thor’s face was priceless. Loki watched as Thor struggled to find an appropriate response. A sea of emotions passed Thor’s face going from frustrated to amused to resignation. “Leave it to my villainous Kitten to find the loopholes of submission.”

Loki smiled but received a sharp slap to his bottom which made him hiss.

“But there is one big problem with your theory.”

“And that is?” Loki asked rubbing his sore thigh.

“You need what I give you just as much as I need what you give me.” Thor placed a small peck on Loki’s lips. “You could pretend you could go back to your old life with unsatisfying sex with women. But we both know you need cock to be satisfied. My cock to be precise. And what it gets in you, you can’t even think straight enough to deny me.”

Loki smirked, pursing his lips. “You are mighty full of yourself.”

“If I had my way, you’d be full of me too.” Thor grinned like a dog with a bone.

Loki rolled his eyes. “How could you still want sex after all the sex we’ve had?”

“It’s you.” Thor said putting a peck on Loki’s lips. “Now that I’ve had you I can’t get enough.”

It was weird. Loki liked this flirtatious teasing back and forth but it was odd to feel like the blushing girl receiving the attentions of a hot guy.

So much for alpha.

Loki had lost this round for sure and Thor he’d won it.

“I’m making a sandwich you want one?” Loki asked stepping away from Thor and breaking the intimacy of the moment.

“Yes. And if I catch you snooping again, I’ll put you in chastity for a week to teach you to keep your hands to yourself.”

Loki looked down demurely. “Yes Thor.” He decided not to tell Thor that chastity didn’t sound as bad as it did when he first put it on his soft limit list. He’d let Thor think he was threatening him and curbing his behavior. He’d wait for a few days before he’d do it again so he could see if he liked chastity as much as he liked forced orgasms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Loki's birthday weekend! Will he have the weekend he deserves or will Sif make sure to ruin it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. I reread it but I know it's not perfect.

The months passed by fast and before Thor knew it, it was spring. Loki had gotten back to work and they fell into something like a routine. Sif had changed a bit, being submissive outside of sex more often. She started making some of the meals and doing some of the housework. Thor questioned the motives behind it but she insisted having another sub simply made her feel her place more.

Loki, on the other hand, had not become any more submissive but Thor found that really didn’t bother him. He liked that Loki’s submission was difficult for him. When he actually did it, it was like a gift. It actually made him giddy.

Loki had fallen into a routine as well. Sif was one hundred percent right in her feelings about Loki’s attentions. It was overwhelming. He received constant phone calls, text messages and Loki craved Thor’s attention and approval.

But it didn’t make Loki unlovable, it made Thor want to love him more.

Thor had seen this before and Loki’s behavior was classic for people who had been abused and abandoned. Thor wanted to put Loki on a schedule, something more detailed than what he already had in place. Loki needed control, he needed choice taken away from him in certain aspects because he didn’t make good choices on his own.

He needed a master.

But Loki would never be a slave. He’d never kneel down at his feet, especially not in the club. But then, he didn’t really need to follow the proper definitions for it. He never really cared what other’s thought of his methods. If it was good for him and his sub then who cared?

The problem was, Loki wasn’t a regular sub and so he’d be real hesitant to give away his will to another man. Another woman perhaps. In situations like this, it would have been nice if Sif was still in love with Loki. He’d have Loki contract with Sif so she’d be able to curb some of his more destructive behaviors. But he was afraid to give Sif any power over Loki. She had proven that she’d take advantage of Loki if she felt like it and that would just make things work.

What Loki really needed was therapy. Maybe even medication. He was hoping when he went to speak to a therapist to get clearance to go back to work, she’d see that Loki wasn’t quite right. Surprisingly, she cleared him after just one session.

Pepper, Tony’s wife, was a psychiatrist and mentioned it was probable that Loki just knew what to say.

He was unsure what to do so instead he did nothing until he was certain that his actions wouldn’t make things worse. Instead he focused on his own behaviors. He didn’t respond to Loki’s messages right away and sometimes sent his phone calls straight to voicemail. He’d read them or listen to them right away, in the chance that it was something of urgency, but if it wasn’t, he’d make Loki wait fifteen to twenty minutes for a response.

The first few weeks, Loki responded negatively to this tactic. The lack of response led to more frantic attempts to get Thor’s attention but then it seemed Loki fell into a rhythm with it.

Passed twenty minutes though, Loki would start with the frantic messages again. At least Loki had made some progress.

The weekend would be a tough one though. It was Loki’s birthday on Sunday and they were going up to Tony’s house for the weekend. Loki didn’t know it yet, Thor had just found out a few hours ago and Loki had never been on one of those weekends before.

It wasn’t that things were so outrageous there. They didn’t have sex in front of each other but the subs acted like subs. If they were to kneel at home then they’d be kneeling there. Whatever schedule they were on at home, they’d be doing there. As for the dominants, they would give out discipline as needed where ever they were at. If they didn’t want their subs spoken to, forever reason, then that rule would have to be obeyed. He’d have to brief Loki and hope he wasn’t in a mischievous mood. He’d be embarrassed if Loki deliberately broke a rule of another doms.

He fully expected for Loki to break his rules though. It’s what made Loki, Loki.

Additionally, he had made reservations for a table at the Avenger’s Club for Sunday. They’d all go out and eat and he hoped they would have fun, but Loki would be exposed to every type of relationship there was. Some were very extreme and some very light. If there was a show that night, there would be no telling what Loki would see and how he’d respond, but he needed Loki to be exposed to it so that he could find Loki’s limits. Where they stood, Loki would not communicate his own limits well. He knew a few times, unfortunately too late, he had pushed Loki too far and he was sore or in pain the next day.

Thor didn’t like that. He wanted Loki to feel it the next day, maybe the next few days, but not in pain. He figured exposing him with their friends there, Loki would latch on to someone, if not him, and he would get that answers he needed.

He heard Loki’s key in the door and braced himself for resistance.

Loki came in, looking so handsome in his black on black outfit. He frowned at the suitcases.

“Hey Kitten.” Thor said to draw Loki’s attention. “How was your day?”

Loki looked at Thor and smiled. “I’m glad it’s over. What’s with the suitcases?”

“Come give me a kiss and I’ll tell you.” Thor smiled as Loki came walking over, a little smirk taking over the corner of his mouth.

Loki placed a chaste but sweet kiss on Thor’s lips. “What’s with the suitcases?”

“We are going to Tony’s for the weekend.” Thor answered.

Loki frowned. “Oh, is Darcy going to be there?”

Ah Darcy. As long as she was going to be there, he knew Loki would go. Their friendship was the best thing for the both of them as Steve informed him, the deeper into their world Loki went, the more adventurous Darcy was with him. “Yes.”

Unexpectedly Loki’s frown deepened. Had they fallen out? Surely Steve would have told him that. “When are you guys leaving?”

You guys? Did Loki really think Thor would leave him behind? That was a sign that Loki felt he was disposable. He wasn’t doing a good enough job of securing Loki’s position in their relationship. Perhaps after this weekend, Loki would see that he had been introduce to every aspect of Thor’s life.

“Loki, you’re coming with us.”

Pure panic gripped Loki’s eyes. “What? I never go? I don’t…” Loki suddenly stopped speaking and a slow smile spread across his face. “Sunday’s my birthday.”

“Yes.” Thor agreed.

“And Darcy’s coming?” His eyes widened. “She’s making me cupcakes!” Loki took off running up the stairs. “I’m going to pack!”

Thor made a mental note to himself. Next time he’d just tell him Darcy was coming with baked goods and avoid the whole ‘I’m not good enough to be seen in public’ thing Loki did every now and again.

Loki came back downstairs in record time pulling a laughing Sif down the stairs with him. “We’re ready!”

“Loki calm down.” Sif said pulling her arm out of his grip. “Her cupcakes aren’t even that great.”

“You’re just mad that you can’t bake cupcakes.” The thought spit out his mouth so quick, it didn’t seem as if he had time to stifle it.

Thor was actually a little stunned. Loki never brought up Sif’s short comings. He was quick to sooth her and reassure her. Thor had wanted to laugh though.

Sif looked surprised too. Loki had never complained about her lack of baking skills before. He baked often because he liked cakes, cookies, muffins, cupcakes of any kind and he’d never shown any kind of bitterness about it.

“I can make cupcakes.” Came Sif’s attempt at defending herself.

“No, Betty Crooker makes cupcakes. You just put them in the oven.” Loki explained. “Darcy makes hers from scratch. And it’s my birthday, so she’s going to make it special. Oh I hope she baked the lemon cupcakes with the lemon frosting.”

Thor knew Darcy was making them, they had discussed Loki’s preferences just to make sure they had food he’d like, and when Darcy found out it was his birthday she told Thor she’d handle everything. She baked a two layer cake, decorations, baked cupcakes, cookies and even lollipops.

But the look on Sif’s face took all thoughts of Loki’s birthday celebration out of his mind. She actually look insulted that Loki was comparing her cupcakes with another woman’s was a horrible insult. But then maybe it was. Thor wasn’t a woman, he wasn’t expected to bake.

“Are we ready to go?” Loki asked not even realizing that he had hurt her feelings.

Thor nodded and followed his subs out to the car.

He got into the driver’s side with Sif in the passenger side. Loki sat in the back playing phone games that made the most annoying and obnoxious noises. They drove in silence for a little while, maybe for an hour before Loki threw the phone down on the seat next to him with a harsh sigh. “Are you going to drive this slowly the whole way?”

Thor looked at Loki through the rearview mirror. “I’m not driving slowly.”

“Yes you are. You are only going the suggested speed limit.” Loki told him.

“Suggested?!” Thor roared. “It isn’t suggested! It’s the law.”

“You are the law.” Loki explained calmly. “Turn on your lights.”

“I’m off duty Loki. Sit back and hush.” Thor knew when he told Loki be quiet that he was not going to follow that direction. In fact he wished he would have not said it because he knew Loki would now think of something disrespectful because he was told to hush. He should have just let Loki get the complaining out of his system.

“But we’re taking too long to get nowhere Thor.” Thor let out a relieved breath when he heard Loki’s response. “Let me drive. I’m a better driver.”

“Better? Did you have to go to court last month for that speeding ticket?” Thor was becoming more annoyed with his backseat driver by the minute and he was no longer concerned about Loki’s come back. He knew damned well he was the better driver. Loki was just talking nonsense. “You say another word I’ll gag you the whole day.”

Loki spared a look at Sif who looked at him amused by their back and forth.

Loki smacked his lips together a few time before he looked back at Thor. “You drive like an old blind lady.”

The car came screeching to a halt and Thor was out the car in a heartbeat swinging the back car door open reaching into one of the bags to retrieve the gag.

Loki was scrambling to the other side of the car laughing hysterically. “No! No Thor wait! WAIT!” Whatever else he was going to say was muffled when the gag clicked into place.

Thor righted himself back in the car as Loki leaned back in the seat, eyes smiling as he picked up his phone and resumed playing his games.

000

Despite her earlier annoyance at Loki, Sif found Loki’s backseat driving amusing. It was frustrating when he did it to her but it was hilarious to watch. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Thor so annoyed.

When they first arrived Thor went through a list of acceptable thing and unacceptable things. Because he and Darcy was new, there were a lot of rules that was lifted but there were a few still in place. Subs were not allowed to be alone in a room with any dom but their own. Sub were to start eating after the doms took their first bite. Punishments would be given freely and in front of anyone. He was to follow the orders of other doms but no one was to touch them and if insulted by anything side, they were to go directly to him to take care of it.

She agreed and Loki nodded.

Her own annoyance was renewed when all the doms started cooing at poor little Loki walking in looking an abandoned cat with his sad, gagged face. Well it really wasn’t all the doms. Steve and Clint laughed hysterically at the sight but Pepper and Natasha were all sympathetic eyes.

“Please ladies don’t fall for this.” Thor was saying. “He’s a villain.”

“How can he be a villain?” Pepper was asking. “He looks so adorable.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “Seriously, where is our room?”

Pepper showed them to their room and they unpacked for the weekend.

When they returned, they were sent to the dining room where the gag was temporarily removed for Loki to eat but immediately returned when he took his last sip of water.

There was a new dominate at the table, Fandral who was like a mixture of Loki and Thor put together. He had blonde hair, blue eyes but had a lean thin body. He was attractive and she found that her eyes were constantly drawn to him. She also noticed that he didn’t come with a sub.

At one point, she thought she saw Loki noticing her eyeing the other man, but his attitude lightened when Darcy brought out Loki’s favorite lemon cupcakes.

Loki looked at Thor pleadingly hoping he’d take the gag off again for desert.

Thor, having a soft spot for Loki in her opinion, removed the gag. “The first disrespectful, foul word that comes out your mouth and you will be in trouble.” Thor threatened.

Loki looked down submissively and nodded. The gag was removed. “Thank you Thor.” He said passively. You’re so good for me.”

Sif saw that for what it was. Loki was playing good sub to get what he wanted. She didn’t think there was a sub at the table that didn’t recognize that look in his eyes. Or a dom for that matter.

Once he ate both his given cupcakes Darcy asked, “How were the cupcakes Loki?”

Loki slapped the table hard with both hands, stood up from his chair and yelled, “IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS!” Before he took off running with Thor hot on his tail.

She was actually a little embarrassed for Thor despite the laughter from the other doms at the table. There was no way Thor could be happy with a sub that openly disrespected him.

“There’s a spray bottle in there!” Tony had yelled out which was followed by the sound of Loki screaming.

That only made them laugh harder.

When the pair returned, Loki’s hair was wet and Thor was slightly out of breath. He didn’t look mad though. On the contrary, he looked amused. He never looked amused when she missed behaved and she had never been s bold as to cuss and scream like that.

So no punishment for Loki tonight?

She got paddles, he got a spray bottle. That was hardly equal.

Loki was pushed into the seat where Thor grabbed both hands and placed them both on the table in front of him. “Don’t move a muscle.” The tone was sever but look in those baby blues were anything but.

Loki had his trademark smirk on his face, pupils slightly dilated. He was turned on. Maybe that’s why Thor accepted Loki’s bad behavior.

Thor took his seat again and huffed.

Loki looked over to Thor, palms flat. He licked his lips as the tension in the room rose. Everyone knew he was going to say something and they were just waiting for it. He waited two beats before he said, “I love you too Thor!”

Tony hollered in amusement. “I love this guy!”

Thor’s face reddened failing to keep that angered look.

Sif struggled to keep the angered look off her face. She knew Loki loved the attention Thor gave him during punishments. In fact, there was one day that Thor actually refused to punish Loki which led to the first time Loki actually cried outside of sex.

It also led to two days of good behavior out of Loki. He had never committed the offense again, what the offense was, she was not told. It seemed Loki kept to only a few rules that he broke, like cussing. And Thor seemed more interested in keeping Loki’s negative behaviors to a select few than to stop all the negative behavior all together.

But more importantly, did he just tell Thor he loved him? And did he just say too? Had Thor told him he loved him while spraying him in the face with a water bottle? What kind of punishment was that?

After dinner everyone retired to their own bedrooms. She had went to shower straight after Loki and when she came back into the room the two love birds were kissing each other. Loki was up against the wall, hands behind his back and looking like a blushing virgin. Thor had encased Loki between his arms putting one palm on each side of the wall next to Loki’s head. He was looking at the slightly shorter man looking strangely possessive and in love.

“Shower’s free.” She interrupted their lover’s moment on purpose.

Thor turned to her. “There’s my good sub.”

She smiled at his emphases on good.

“She may be good to you but she isn’t very good to me.” Loki stated flatly from behind Thor.

Both Thor and Sif turned sharply to Loki who stared back at them with a serious face and sober eyes.

“Sweet heart, is there something we need to discuss?” Thor had asked him sounding concerned with Loki’s serious tone.

Sweet heart? Where did that come from?

“Not at all.” Loki answered with a smile.

Thor smiled. “Good. Be naked when I get back.”

Sif watched Thor leave and looked over at Loki. “Are you sure you’re ok. You’ve been snippy with me today.”

Loki just stared at her with those piercing green eyes and it made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. She’d never admit it to anyone but there were times Loki freaked her out. She knew he wasn’t an incredibly violent man. She’d only seen him fight once when she had gotten into a fight with some man in the street. She hadn’t realized the man had five friends with him. They had not realized that she was with Loki and truth be told, even if they had they wouldn’t have thought him much of a threat.

Still, once she started the argument she wasn’t about to back down and the man had punched her. She’d fallen on the ground and by the time she looked up, Loki had floored three of them.

She was so hot for him that day.

It was like a switch. He went from happy to angry, from angry to sad, from sad and happy in the blink of an eye. Just right there, he went from making kissy faces to giving her his psychotic glare in a second.

“Have I?” He said finally. “I hadn’t noticed.”

She frowned deeply when she realized he must have seen her looking at Fandral. “Are you mad with me?”

“Do I have a reason to be?” He countered.

“No.” She quickly answered.

He smiled. “Then why would you ask?

“Because you’re acting like you’re mad.”

“Sound like a guilty conscious.” He said. “Is there something you’d like discuss? Puppet.”

She frowned at the nickname. It sounded like an insult coming from his mouth. It was as if he was reminding her that checking out Fandral was an insult both to him and Thor. She was going to respond but they heard the sound of the turning off.

Loki pushed himself from off the wall and started to strip. “Calm yourself now good sub.” He started emphasizing the good the way Thor did. “Daddy’s coming back and he wouldn’t be happy to see his two subbies fighting.”

The daddy part made her cringe in but then Thor came out in all his naked glory smiling at his two sub. “I’m in a playful mood today Babes. Let’s play a game.”

Sif smiled. Thor’s games were always fun. It would lighten the mood and sweeten Loki’s sour mood.

“First sub to come gets spanked. Ten swats with the paddle.” He clapped his hands. “This should be fun.”

Thor had been slap happy lately. Ever since Loki okayed a spanking during sex, not punishment, Thor had been doing it often.

He positioned Sif on the bed on her back with Loki on top of her and himself on top of Loki. Before he allowed any penetration he pulled on Loki’s hair, tilting his head back. “Dry orgasms count tonight.”

Loki pouted his response but it was a playful pout and she felt him harden between her thighs in response.

She felt Loki reach down to ensure that she was wet enough to penetrate before he slipped in which he actually thought was sweet, considering his anger a moment ago, but it was unnecessary. The moment Thor walked out the bathroom she was wet.

Then she felt the added weight of Thor entering Loki who bit into his hip.

She knew he’d be extra quiet. They were in a new environment and he’d be worried about someone hearing. She couldn’t wait for him to hear the other’s screaming in either pleasure or pain.

Thor rocked into Loki for a while before delivering a sharp slap to Loki’s bottom. “Switch!” He pulled out of Loki and positioned Sif in the middle. Loki was slipped into her from the front and Thor from the back.

She was stuffed in both holes and her body was shivering with the pleasure of it. The thrusts from both men were sure. Damned Loki knew exactly where her g-spot was and he was not above exploiting it. Didn’t surprise her one bit. Loki cheated at Monopoly, Chess, Checkers and any other game the three of them tried to play. Sex games would be no different.

Then she received a sharp slap. “Switch.”

After three switches both subs had a red ass, was sweating profusely and struggling to keep themselves together.

When Loki was penetrated again, with his cock buried in Sif he groaned pitifully. She knew he was losing it. Thor was not avoiding his prostate and she knew each time he hit it when Loki’s cock twitched in her. A panicked look was starting to form in his eyes. She felt him shift and then felt his finger tip on her clit.

She actually cried out now panicking herself. “He’s cheating!” She found herself saying. “He’s cheating! He’s cheating!”

Thor laughed. “Doesn’t he always?”

Yes. Yes he did. He was villainous with it. She was being edged closer and closer. She was losing it. She wasn’t going to last.

But then she heard the slap and knew they would be switching places. She shouldn’t have relaxed herself though because Loki sped up his finger and the next thing she knew she was falling apart to Loki’s evil cackle.

She’d never been so mad to cum in her life.

True to his promise, Thor pulled out of Loki and got the paddle but he also grabbed cuffs. He walked back to the bed and started to cuff Loki with cuffs made specifically for rough sex. “For my little cheater. Since you can’t play fair, you can’t touch yourself while I beat her. And I know how much you like to beat her.”

Loki pouted.

Thor walked over to Sif and started to arrange her on the bed, head to the mattress, ass in the air. Before he could start paddling, moans started coming from different rooms. Some male, some females.

Loki scrunched his face. “Eww are they having sex?”

“So are we.” Was Thor’s answer.

“You mean to tell me that I have to lay here chained up listening to pornographic noises while you paddle Sif? How does that help my situation?” How he could look outraged with a hard cock and handcuffed to the bed was beyond her.

Thor laughed. “Should have thought about that before you went finger happy.”

Loki pouted harder.

Good for him.

Bastard.

With her butt already sore from the constant swats of Thor’s hand, the light paddle was able to achieve some pain. It wasn’t a punishment beating though and there was a big difference between the two. Sensual spanking brought heat. It was a pain so good it might as well have been pleasure. By swat number eight she’d creamed all over herself and was spent.

Thor turned his attention to Loki on the bed who was harder than she’d ever seen him before. “Your turn Kitten.”

Loki smirked.

Thor slipped between Loki legs and inside of him. Loki arched, hands still cuffed and sighed. Thor started a pace that he hardly ever took with Loki. He went slowly, slipping almost entirely out and then deep back in. There was a reason why he rarely used it.

Loki didn’t like it.

Loki liked harsh, quick, short thrusts. The constant rub on his prostate would send him into obliteration quick.

This was like a tease, nowhere near enough to give him what he needed even for a dry orgasm.

Thor liked it and it showed because he came quickly and pulled out of Loki with a loud plop.

“I’ve got something for you Kitten.” Thor said. “I was going to wait to show you, but after your incredibly naughty behavior today, I realized this would probably be more of an incentive than a deterrent.

Kitten was breathing hard and looking a bit angry with Thor having his body used for Thor’s pleasure only.

Thor returned from his suitcase with a dildo, obviously made for a man because of the angle and with a pump attached.

“I think you’ll like this.” Thor said greasing it and then inserting it. “Seeing as how you like to be filled so much.”

The first few pumps didn’t do much it seemed. It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth pump that Loki let it known that it was doing something to him.

“Feeling fuller?” Thor asked, eyebrow arched

Loki nodded licking his lips. “Don’t stop.”

A few more pumps and Loki was arching in his cuffs. “How that Kitten? Cuming yet?”

A groan answered him. “Yesssss. Thor more! More!”

Thor smiled and gave it two more pumps which seemed to take all the breath from Loki’s lungs. He was shuddering hard, his cock twitched on his belly steadily leaking.

“Can you take one more Kitten?”

Loki nodded and a pump quickly followed which sent scum shooting up into the air.

Thor deflated the machine and Sif was sure he noticed Loki’s erection did waiver. Loki went from not being able to come at all to coming constantly, in all sorts of ways.

Once the pump was out, Thor smiled. “You’re so open.” He slipped three greased fingers in deep with one sure push and Loki started making an odd keening noise. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were getting more glazed.

He was falling.

“You alright Kitten? Are you still with me?” Thor was a conscious dom. He noticed everything.

Loki didn’t answer right away, he didn’t even seem like he heard him. Thor started pinching on Loki’s thigh. “Kitten you hear me?”

Loki seemed to snap out of it a bit and nodded.

Thor added the fourth finger and Loki started moaning, starting from really low but steadily getting higher with each exhalation. Soon the moans turned to panicked screams and his cock started twitching but no sperm followed. His screams were getting louder and she knew everyone in the house had to have heard it, even through their own moans.

She watched as Thor looked at Loki and tucked his thumb in before pushing.

Sif held her breath as she watched Thor push his fist into the screaming man below him. She had never been fisted, never even wanted to, but looking at Loki as he screamed and convulsed made her want to try it.

When Thor was wrist deep and Loki’s body shuddered closed around it, Loki went eerily quiet and his body contorted in a way that seemed to startle even Thor who moved quickly to stop the arch of Loki’s back that would have certainly torn him from the inside.

Suddenly, Loki’s body relaxed completely, with the exception of his cock which was stone hard and visibly throbbing. His green eyes were rolling in his head, his mouth open in a held breath before his body shook in harsh tremors.

“Oh shit!” Thor sounded panicked and she suspected he had never seen anyone so far gone before either. “Kitten! Kitten you hear me?”

Loki was gone.

And Sif was not surprised to feel herself tighten in her own climax without even being touched.

“Sif!” Thor’s panicked voice got her attention immediately. “His wrists!”

Loki’s contortions had pulled hard on his bindings and was starting to leave marks. With a fist in, Thor wouldn’t be able to untie him. She quickly moved and untied him while Thor worked to get his fist out of him. She marveled as how harshly Loki must have been pulling on the restraints that marks were being left. He hadn’t even felt the pain and that was what made subspace so scary. With the wrong dom, serious damage could be done.

The moment Thor’s fist pulled free, he was shoving inside of Loki, cock balls deep in his ass. She moved out the way and watched as Thor put three quick thrusts into Loki when Loki suddenly arched up. Semen shoot high as Loki took what sounded like a pained breath before screaming at the top of his lungs. Thor followed him with a harsh roar, nowhere near as loud and both men sagged.

Sif stared at them too stunned to move.

000

Loki was in and out of consciousness all day Saturday and truth be told Thor was shaken. He’d dealt with subs in subspace before, he’d been a dom and master for over ten years, but he’d never seen anything like what Loki went through the previous night.

Fisting was intense so he expected an intense response. He hadn’t even planned on doing it but Loki was so open and when he pushed in the reaction he got was so honest and beautiful. It so rare that Loki got so comfortable so fast.

Everything up to that point was normal or at least normal enough that he had seen it before. But then Loki went so lax and for a moment it looked like he wasn’t even breathing when he started convulsing over his wrist trembling so hard he thought perhaps he was having a seizure. And then when he entered him, Loki let loose a yell so loud he knew it had to hurt his throat.

What an ego boost is that? To know that he was able to please Loki so much that he stopped thinking about the abuse, his insecurities and his issues and could only feel was something every dom strived to achieve for their sub.

Then Loki passed out on the bed looking dead.

He had attended Sif making sure he hadn’t broken skin and that she got the aftercare she needed. He’d bathed her and rubbed ointment on her bottom, but like him, she was more concerned for Loki.

Subspace could be a scary thing, especially for someone who had lost all control in his life before. She didn’t fight when he wanted to put Loki in the middle of the bed for warmth and comfort.

Loki had come to at some time during the night. Thor had felt the other man stumble over him to get out of the bed. He helped him to the bathroom and got some fluids in him, but Loki was still out of it and wasn’t able to give full answers as to how he felt.

When they returned to bed, Sif had woken up and let him take his position back in the middle where he wrapped himself around Thor and Sif actually held Loki.

Sif’s sympathy ran out though the next morning when everyone was cooing Loki again, Thor could tell by the look on her face. It didn’t help that Darcy was looking at them at if they had tried to kill Loki the previous night. She asked Steve a thousand questions when Loki was unable to respond to her appropriately.

Then, when Thor asked the resident doctor Bruce to take a look at Loki’s red wrists, the outrage regarding the failure of the supposedly safe cuffs lasted well into the night as they all had a pair closets.

Bruce also checked for muscle stiffness, which he said Loki had not showed any signs of. Loki admitted to only soreness. Around 5 Thor had tucked Loki into bed after feeding him an early dinner and figured he would be out for the night.

Surprisingly, Loki had gotten up around eight, fully dressed and looking really pissed off.

000

Loki was seething and he didn’t even know why. He couldn’t catch a thought long enough to analyze it and it was a helplessness he hadn’t felt since he was a child.

And it was because of Thor. It was Thor that saw him losing it and continued to send him into oblivion.

He followed his dom’s voice to the kitchen despite his mind telling him slow down and try to think. It was as if he was acting despite himself, as if he had no control. When Thor looked up, eyes full of love, it didn’t nothing to curb Loki’s anger.

In fact it fueled.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Loki was screaming before he could tell himself to stop. “You see me falling and you just decide, ‘let me keep fucking him ‘til he passes out!’”

Thor quickly stood up, with sympathetic eyes and in a gentle voice he says, “Kitten calm down.”

“Fuck you!” Loki spat. “You calm down.” What the hell was he saying? That wasn’t even a good argument. Thor was calm, he was the one losing control.

“Let’s go upstairs and you can tell me why you’re mad.”

“Are you patronizing me?” _No Loki no he isn’t. Shut up._ “Don’t patronize me! I don’t need to talk. Not to you, the one who caused me to fucking black out for almost an entire day. I’m going out!”

Loki turned on his heels to leave, grabbing the nearest car keys with him which he knew was stupid because he had no idea whose keys they were. Which car was he going to get in to if he didn’t know who the keys belonged to?

“You are in no condition to drive Loki.” Still Thor was calm. “I cannot allow you…”

Loki turned, seeing red. “Allow me? Allow me! Do you think you can fucking stop me!” Loki was inches from Thor’s face now daring Thor to put a finger on him while telling himself all he really wanted was to throw himself in Thor’s arms and cry.

Thor was looking at him with worried eyes. “You are in no condition to drive.”

“Oh yeah? Watch me.” Loki turned to leave while every fiber in his being was telling him to stay that he was he was actually angry for himself for not picking a side and sticking with it. If he was going to be mad then his mind had better get with the program. If he wanted comfort then someone should have told his mouth because he just kept spitting venom at the one person he desperately needed.

He was almost grateful when one of Thor’s large hands gripped his upper arm and started dragging him back into the house and into their room.

The door shut with a large bang it actually made Loki jump which angered him even more. Thor had pushed his back against the wall, holding Loki’s arms to his side.

With everything in him Loki struggled to get out of Thor’s hold. “It’s okay Kitten.” Thor was telling him. “I’m strong enough to take it.” Loki certainly hoped so. Because he needed to fight against this but he didn’t want Thor to go away.

It made him fight harder, until his was starting to breathe hard and sweat was forming at his brow. Then to his utter embarrassment his eyes started to water.

He sagged in Thor’s hold, defeated. In slow waves the anger was leaving him and it was being replaced with an intense sadness.

“I don’t want to be like this.” He was saying. “I want to be normal. I want to be what everyone else is.” And then, without any restraint, he started sobbing. “Why did he do this me?”

He was in Thor’s arms in an instant, his face buried in his neck. “I don’t know why he did it Kitten. But I wouldn’t want you to be like everyone else. If you were like everyone else I wouldn’t love you nearly as much as I do.”

The words made him sob harder, it had been the first time in four years since someone said those three words to him.

000

Thor was worried. Loki had still wanted air after he let it all out and he wanted space from Thor. Pepper had suggested that Bruce and Tony take Loki out for a while since they all had survived abusive childhoods. Though Loki’s abuse had a sexual component, he knew Bruce’s abuse was physical and Tony’s psychological. They were both as lost at one point was Loki was right then.

Thor really hadn’t wanted to let Loki out of his sight. Loki’s drop from subspace had been hard, despite the aftercare given and everything in him wanted to be there to protect him.

But part of being a dominant was doing what was best for his sub, even at the times when he himself wasn’t the best for him. He’d never be able to sympathize with Loki. Both his parents loved him and aside from the few spankings he got as a child, they’d never caused him pain.

So he let Loki go and sat in the living room looking out the window while holding his phone for the past two hours

“He’s in good hands Thor.” Natasha said joining him in the living room. “Bruce has had that reaction and so has Tony.”

“I know.” He really did. He was there for Tony’s which was much more volatile than Loki’s. “He’s in so much pain Nat and I think I’m making it worse.”

“No, it isn’t true.” Nat took a seat on the couch looked relaxed, but Thor noticed she was holding her cell phone as well. “He’s gained weight, he was playful and you know if he wasn’t comfortable with you, he wouldn’t have allowed himself to fall as deep. He was mad that he was weak to another man again. If it was a domme it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Maybe I should let him have one.” The idea of giving Loki to someone else, even if it was only in domination made his stomach flop. “Maybe he should explore this side of himself…”

“Without the love and tenderness involved? A domme will dominate him but he needs his dominant to love him as well.” She told him as if he was crazy for even mentioning it. “He wanted you to stop him, he wanted to fight against someone strong enough to hold him up. He wouldn’t have acted that way with a domme but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t have felt it. Let’s be real Thor, he’s never let on that Sif is abusive. He’s never fought her the way he fights you. With you he’s safe to be what he is. Even if sometimes that means he’s scary.”

Thor sighed. No you’d never be able to tell his wife was emotionally abusing him for who knows how many years. He wondered what Loki would have done had they not met each other. “I know. He needs help.”

“Have you given more thought to changing the contract? He’s proven today he needs to be mastered not dominated.” Natasha told him. “You could get him into therapy, get him the help he needs.”

“Nat, you and I know it’s what he needs but up until about four months ago, Loki didn’t even think he could be submissive.” Thor said knowing that the word master would mean something completely different to Loki than it really meant.

“Don’t kid yourself honey, Loki’s not submissive.” Natasha snorted.

Thor laughed turning away from the window to look at her.

“He submits, but he isn’t submissive. He sized you up ready to floor you.”

“But he’s not a dom.” Thor replied

“No, not even a little bit.” She agreed. “Though he gives off a vibe sometimes. He’s dominatingly submissive.”

“Or submissively dominate.”

“Either way, you fucked him into oblivion and once this fall is over, he’s going to be glued to your side.”

“I know. More than he already was.”

She sat in silence for a few moment before she sudden said, “Hey, I noticed last night at dinner, he said loved you too. I didn’t realize you were talking love already.”

“We weren’t.” Thor said honestly. And that moment he had played in his mind over and over again.

“So wait, you punished him and he said I love you too.” Of course she’d see it like that. That’s how he saw it as well, though he laughed at the time.

Thor sighed. “I know.”

“Maybe you need to take a stronger position.” Her voice had a hard edge to it. She was in her domme mode. She was no longer looking after a friend but protecting a sub who seemed to be hazardous to his own health.

Thor would have taken offense if he hadn’t taken that same tone with her with Bruce was exhibiting troubling behaviors.

“What do you mean?” Thor questioned. “A stronger position?”

“He gets help or you leave. He’s misbehaving because he thinks you punishing him is the same as loving him. This is dangerous.”

“And if he leaves? What good am I to him then? But one more person to leave him.”

“He’d be leaving you.” She clarified.

“He won’t see it that way.” No he’d see it as abandonment. “And now that he’s open to this world, he’ll get into more trouble on his own.”

Eventually Natasha sighed returning to friend mode. “Nothing has to be decided tonight. It’s his birthday weekend and he is going to come home remorseful.”

Thor nodded but his heart leapt into his throat when he heard a key in the door.

He was at least smiling when he came in carrying Tony who was stumbling drunk. Natasha stood up giving Bruce an angry glare. “You took him out to drink! Loki’s recovering from subspace…”

“Domina, he didn’t have a drink.” Bruce explained quickly. “It was all Tony.”

Her face lightened. “Oh mercy. Help him to Pepper, she’s going to pissed her service top isn’t going to be able to do much topping tonight.”

Thor’s eyes were fixed on Loki as he handed Tony to Bruce and while Natasha said good night to them both.

Loki’s attention turned to Thor. His green eyes expressionless. “Are you angry with me?”

“For falling from subspace?” Thor stepped forward slowly. “No, never. All I ever want is your honest emotion and you gave it.” He slowly raised his arms to draw Loki closer afraid that sudden movements would make Loki defensive.

Loki stepped willingly into his hold. “Is Sif upstairs?”

“Yeah.” Thor nodded.

“Can I speak to you first then?” Asked before adding, “Before we head up.”

“Of course. Come into the kitchen, we’ll eat the rest of Darcy’s muffins. She was mad she couldn’t go with you guys.” Thor was trying to keep things light. He had to gage Loki’s mental state.

“Yeah, she actually cursed her happy childhood.” Loki laughed.

Laughter was good.

They sat at the kitchen table, munching on muffins in silence for a while. Thor wasn’t going to rush it, he waited for Loki to start the conversation.

“So, um, how is the investigation for your fire going?” Loki asked though Thor knew that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about.

“They are starting to make a suspect list.” Thor told him.

“They should look as past lovers.” He said shoving cupcakes in his mouth.

Thor frowned. “Why?” Did Loki really burn down his house?

“Before you, I thought I’d burn Sif’s house down if she left me.” Loki was smiling. “But, um, I was talking to Bruce and Tony before he got drunk, as they had similar childhoods to mine.”

Thor nodded. “I know.”

“And um, one of the things they said that helped was therapy.”

Thor’s heart skipped a beat.

“Both individual and couples.”

“They did.” He remembered Natasha’s tirades about it. She hated couples therapy, but Bruce needed it and she never let on to him how much she hated it.

But what kind of slave would Bruce be if he didn’t realize his mistress was unhappy with it. It’s what helped build trust between them. He knew she’d make herself uncomfortable to make him well.

“So I was wondering, if you’d be willing to go with me.” Oh mercy, Loki was actually asking for something he needed. With no prompting or convincing.

Inside Thor was dancing, on the outside he only smiled. “Of course. But what about Sif?”

Loki snorted. “Please, Sif is only here for you. She had no intentions of saving our marriage. But you… you plan to keep me right?”

Thor tried not to cringe at the phrase “keep me”. Like he was an adopted dog or something. “For as long as you’ll let me.”

“So you’ll come with me?” He sounded so unsure.

Thor pulled Loki’s chair closer to him and framed his head with his hands. “To ends of the world.”

Loki took his kiss. “I have another question.”

Thor released him.

“Natasha and Bruce, they are dom and sub?”

Thor frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, their dynamic is kind of weird. Like, Steve and Darcy is noticeably tamer, they are noticeably different. Not more hardcore, because Clint and Jane do some crazy things but different.

Thor sighed trying to find the right words to describe this. He hadn’t noticed that Loki had noticed the different between the relationships. “Bruce is a slave and Natasha is a master, or in her case mistress.”

“Slave.” He didn’t sound confused, it wasn’t a question. “He can’t safe word right?”

Thor frowned. “No, how do you know that?”

“I looked up dynamics of a bdsm relationship on Google.” He was curious, of course he was.

“I’d prefer you come to me with those questions. Online, people sometimes lie or their definitions are different from what I know them as.”

“But it’s something we can talk about?” He wanted to talk about dynamics? What else had he looked up?

Thor wanted to question him further but he yawned.

“You might get some info tomorrow. I’ve made a reservation at the club.”

“The Avenger’s Club?” Loki arched a brow. “Such a stupid name.”

Thor smiled. “I’ll tell Tony that in the morning.”

000

Sif watched from the sidelines with a drink in her hand as Thor and Loki slow danced. What kind of S/M club played slow music? Thor must have specifically requested it. He was carrying Loki around on his arm all night introducing him to everyone he knew as if he was so proud to have him on his arm.

Loki did look radiant. He had put on some weight, thanks to Darcy shoving her baked goods down his throat every minute she got, and his hair had grown out some. He looked like a person who had recently been to spa and she knew he hadn’t.

He had the ‘I’ve been fucked well’ glow.

The most embarrassing part came when Loki first sat down and a one of her friends, a domme named Maria Hill, came over as soon as she set eyes on him. The dommes were swarming around him like vultures smelling fresh meat. He gave off a woman’s sub vibe. Interestingly, male doms stayed away like he was the plague and at first she thought it was Thor’s protective arm that was constantly around him. But then she realized it was the fact that Loki had no problems with being dick to them when needed.

To them he gave off a dom vibe. Loki was always frustratingly confusing.

But when Maria walked over and shook his hand offering her services, Loki declined. “Oh, no I’m with Thor.”

She had frowned deep. “Thor? I though he was with Sif and her husband?”

Loki smiled. “I would be the husband.” Not ‘her husband’ but ‘the husband’.

She went from giving him a hungering look, to a confused one. Loki arched a brow. “Are you alright?”

“You’re Loki?” She asked.

“Yes.” He nodded.

She then looked at Sif as if she was the stupidest woman in the world. She looked back at Loki and then at her. “Are you serious? He’s gorgeous.”

Sif had never been so embarrassed. Of course she had told people at the club about Loki but she never expected him to actually come and take a meal there and even if he did. Where was Maria’s tact?

And now Thor was just whisking Loki around the dance floor like he was a fucking prince. She was seething.

They took their seats when a show started. There was a man tied in the middle of the stage, already looking like had been worked over.

She watched Loki’s reaction as men started to line up on the stage. She knew what was about to happen, they were about to take turns with the man and when Loki realized it, she was pleased to see the panic in his eyes as he turned away.

Thor was quick to his ear explaining how this was all consensual. How all of those men had been screened and agreed to weeks in advance.

In this, Loki would never please Thor. He’d never be able to have both feet in this world. Like her, Thor would have to keep Loki at home while trying to find his bdsm match and eventually he would realize he could find both in a person that wasn’t Loki.

Sif left her husband in Thor’s arms and went to find Fandral.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sif shows Thor who Loki really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta.  
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!

Loki was tipsy, not drunk, just a little buzzed and in Thor’s eyes, absolutely adorable. He was giggling and stumbling slightly as he was shrugging off his clothes to put on his pajamas.

It was Tony’s birthday and he had invited the other subs for an early dinner promising to have them all back safe and sound by 7pm.

It was 9.

Luckily, they had sense enough to call cabs for each other.

“Come on little Kitten. Come into the sanctuary and have a cup of coffee.” Thor said helping Loki up the stairs.

“Coffee?” Loki clung to Thor’s arm. “Is it not too late for coffee? I want a glass of wine.”

“Wine is what the problem is.” Thor told him. “Coffee will sober you up.”

“I’m sober Thor. I’m so sober it’s ridiculous.”

“Sure is Loki.” Thor got him to the sanctuary and went to make coffee, instant would do. When he got back to the room, Loki was sitting in the chair pulling out a puzzle to put together. “Here sweetheart, drink this.”

“Is there whiskey in it?” Loki asked with an arched eyebrow. “Irish coffee?”

“Sure why not.” Thor put the cup in Loki’s hand.

Loki took it and smiled. “Liar.”

“You had fun with Tony?” Thor asked sliding into the chair across from Loki.

Loki smiled. “So much fun Thor. Tony is crazy. Oh hey, you know what? He was talking about his wife pegging him! Can you believe that? I’d be afraid if Sif tried to make me her bend over boyfriend.”

“Why?”

“She’s an angry woman and I am always a bad boy.” Loki smiled trying to snap two puzzle pieces together.

“Why? Why are you always a bad boy?” Thor asked taking the pieces apart that Loki just snapped together.

“Because it’s fun.” It was the truth, Thor knew, but he wasn’t too sure if that was the whole truth. “Why are you doing that?” Loki asked, brows creased.

“They didn’t belong together.” Thor explained.

Loki’s frown deepened. “Yes they did. I put them together myself.”

“Yes I saw you. But it’s wrong. There are no gaps between the pieces.” Thor loved messing with Loki with the puzzle pieces. Loki was so passionate about something Thor found so mundane.

Loki smiled at him. “There aren’t supposed to be gaps Thor.” He snatched the pieces back and reconnected them. “What did you and your family do when you were a child?”

“Play football.”

“Is that the one where you hit a ball with a stick?” Loki teased. “Or the one where you hit a puck with a stick.”

Thor smiled. “It’s the one where I hit you with a stick.”

“Promises, promises.” Loki flirted. “We should have a day where I’m the dominant and you’re the submissive. I read somewhere that it’s a good exercise to see how well you take care of your subbie.”

Thor squinted. “Where did you read that at?” It wasn’t entirely wrong. There were a lot of couples that switched if nothing else then to make that the dom remembers what it’s like for a submissive. But it was deeper than that. It was also to see how the sub treats his dom while his dom was in a place of submission. Usually, they treat the dom as the dom treated them and it was a good was for the dom to see where he’d lacking.

“I don’t know. I beat my partner dot com.”

That wasn’t real, Thor knew that and he smiled at Loki’s humor. “I told you I prefer you asking me questions. What made you do research in the first place?”

Loki shrugged. “Remember when I looked at your messages that time and you threatened chastity?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I looked at it again after that.” Loki smiled then, wide with amused eyes. He almost looked proud of himself. “I saw a message between you and Nat in which she referred to me as a slave.”

Thor shook his head. “Seriously?”

“This was pre-therapy alright, give a guy a break.”

“Oh you’ll be on a long break.” Thor nodded though secretly, he was proud of Loki.

It took them a while to get him into therapy only because at first Loki was refusing to see a psychiatrist, and when he did, he argued against every acronym he was diagnosed with. Eventually, after much research, Loki began to see a bit of himself in all the diagnosis and admitted maybe he wasn’t the healthiest mentally.

The OCD was easy for him to admit to. The PTSD made sense though he was adamant at first that he had it at one time, but not anymore. The Borderline Personality Disorder Loki was not accepting. It was only after Loki did his own reading that he realized that he identified with it. The intense feelings of abandonment, the mood swings, self-harm and intense feelings of boredom where only a few traits Loki saw in himself.

Eventually he agreed to take the meds and though it was too soon to tell if it was working or not, he was proud of Loki for trying to get himself healthy.

“No breaks. A week’s chastity starting tomorrow.” Thor informed him. 

Loki pouted. “I came clean! Doesn’t that count for something?”

“You came clean because you had to tell me why you started researching this life style.” Thor said. “It doesn’t count.”

“Ok, right there. Pause. Why is it a life style? Some people engage in this kink for sex. Why must I submit all the time?”

Thor allowed the change in subject but only because Loki was willing to actually talk about their lifestyle. All previous attempts to start this conversation was met with sarcasm.

It was also a bad idea to speak punishment with a drunk man. Even if he was just a little tipsy.

“I like to have a full time submissive.” It was true. Kinky sex games was fun, but it wasn’t real to him. It was a game and Thor didn’t like to just play.

“But you’re different with Sif.” The puzzle was forgotten now and instead, Loki was sipping his coffee. “You don’t plan her meals or tell her what time to call you. Our dynamics are very different.”

It wasn’t all Thor though. Loki acted different than Sif. Loki actually waited by the door for Thor to come home. There was never a time that Thor came home and Loki wasn’t already standing there waiting. “You need a different dynamic. You don’t take care of yourself well enough.”

“And yet, we have a contract where I can safe word even in punishment. I can affectively keep you from doing something beneficial for me.”

Loki understood their roles far too well and he knew how to play them. It made him a difficult sub but called out to the dom in Thor to control. “Being a slave takes away your ability to say stop. I don’t think you’d like that.”

Loki wet his lips with the tip of his tongue after finishing off his coffee. “No, I wouldn’t. But, what if the idea isn’t that scary in the future. Like once I… get better.”

“We can always renegotiate.” They were starting to enter a territory about limitations and Loki was in no shape to have such a conversation. In his present state, Loki would agree with something that his drunk brain might think was a good idea but once sober, the affects could be devastating. “But for now, let’s get you to bed.”

“It’s early.”

“Yes, and if you remember correctly, you weren’t supposed to be drinking with meds. Pepper may allow for her service top to drink with prescriptions but I don’t. It dangerous.” So dangerous that Thor dug his phone out his jeans pocket and sent a message to Pepper.

Loki pouted. “I didn’t even remember you saying that.”

Thor sighed both at his sub and Peppers response of “WHAT!”. Apparently she had no idea Tony was drinking.

Have a sub was hard work.

Thor returned his full attention to Loki “I remember saying it, very clearly in fact. So it’s night night Kitty. And you’re going to have to sleep without your sleeping pills tonight.”

Loki stood up from the chair and sauntered over to Thor. “Maybe Thor should tuck Kitty in?”

Thor smiled. “No playing while drunk.”

“Then let’s not play.” Loki kissed Thor on the lips, his tongue sliding inside Thor’s mouth as he started to pull Thor out the chair. “Love me.” He said. “Show me how much you love me.”

How could Thor say no to that?

He peeled off Loki’s clothes as Loki peeled off his. They had been doing this a lot lately, nothing kinky. Just making love. Even though Thor’s dominant side shinned through and sometimes Loki’s need to submit determined their positions, there was nothing fast or hard about their time together.

They tumbled to the bed with Loki straddling him as he held the back of Loki’s head pressing him closer to deepen the kiss. When Loki pulled back for air Thor licked his lip. “I want to be in your mouth.”

Loki frowned a bit but nodded. They’d never gone down of each other and Thor knew it was because the men who had used him made him hate it. As a result, Loki had never asked Thor to do it to him either.

Loki moved down his body, eyes on Thor’s face. When he got there though, it seemed he lacked the courage to actually do it. Thor smiled down at his lover and with his thumb opened Loki’s mouth and with his other hand, guided himself in.

He groaned when Loki accepted it and closed his hot mouth around him. Loki’s dark hair fell over his face and Thor reached down to pull it back and hold his head steady. “I’m going to push deep. Will you let me?”

He wasn’t his dominant at that moment, he was Loki’s boyfriend and he would not just take from him, not when he was drunk and not while they weren’t in a scene. He wanted Loki to freely give.

“Will you stop if I ask you to?” Loki asked slowly jacking Thor’s thick cock.

“Always, no matter if you’re my slave or sub.” Thor answered. “Tap my thigh twice when you want to stop.”

Loki nodded, opened his mouth and let Thor slide in. He pushed at the back of Loki’s long throat causing him to gag. Loki endured it for a few moments before tapping Thor’s thigh. Despite the pleasure of Loki’s gagging, Thor pulled away while Loki sputtered and coughed.

Thor’s cock was aching to get back inside that wet heat but he waited for Loki to catch his breath. “It’s normal Kitten. You actually get used to it.”

Loki nodded.

“Can I do it again? This time I want you to swallow when you gag. Are you willing to try it?”

Loki looked apprehensive.

“You don’t have to. I’ll love you the same regardless.”

Loki looked away for a moment, getting control over his breathing before looking back and nodding.

“Remember two taps.”

Loki nodded and opened his mouth. With Thor’s hands still wrapped in his hair holding him still to receive his cock.

When Thor felt him gag he groaned. “Swallow Kitten, swallow.”

Loki did as instructed though Thor could feel the struggle. Thor looked down at him and watched as more of his shaft was pushed in his throat. With enough training, Loki could probably deep throat him. But that night wasn’t the night to do it. Loki didn’t ask to be pushed, he asked to be loved.

Instead he pulled out Loki’s mouth. “That was good.” He pulled Loki up. “It’s your turn.”

A sudden panicked look passed over Loki’s features. “You don’t have to.”

His considerate Kitten. “Lay back.”

Loki did as suggested and Thor swallowed him whole causing Loki’s back to arch off the bed. “Oh geez Thor.”

Thor sucked hard and released him. “Spread your thighs.”

Loki opened to him and Thor smiled knowing Loki was expecting a finger. What he got was his first rim job. As expected, at first Loki tried to close his legs, but when Thor started to jack Loki’s cock while stuff his tongue in the other man’s ass Loki groaned and let his leg fall a part.. “That’s good Thor. Don’t stop.”

Thor pushed his tongue in deeper and he could feel Loki falling apart under him.

He loved Loki like this. When he was so open and willing.

Thor moved up Loki’s body and took his lips in a searing kiss. Loki arched up, legs wrapped around Thor. “In me Thor. I need you in me. Always. It’s the only time I’m safe.”

Thor frowned as Loki started clawing at him but he reached in the table by the bed and lubed himself before guiding himself in.

“Yes.” Loki hissed. “Love me! Love me!”

Thor pulled back and pushed in making Loki groan. “Deep. Go in deep.”

Thor snorted at his top from the bottom. He’d never allow that in a scene but this was not scene. He pushed in deep making Loki groan. But he didn’t take a fast pace. He pushed in shallow strokes nice and slow enjoying the warmth and tightness of Loki’s body. He was gliding his head along Loki’s prostate, making the other man shudder but the slow pace kept Loki from cuming.

Loki snaked a hand between their bodies to reach for his cock.

Thor grabbed his thin wrist. “You don’t need it. You’ll come on my cock.”

Loki squirmed in an attempt to rush the strokes but Thor stilled his hips. “I’m aching.” He complained.

Thor smiled down at him. “Good. I love it when you get desperate.”

Loki groaned. “Faster, please I want to come.”

“Then come.”

“You’re a monster.”

Thor laughed in response. “You love it.”

“I do. I love it. I love how hard you make me.”

“Gosh Loki you’re still so tight. You feel so good.” Thor didn’t know how that was possible. Loki was filled nightly and yet his body was still so snug around him.

Loki huffed, obviously trying to orgasm with the pace Thor set. “Thor, seriously, I’m throbbing.”

Thor knew that feeling all too well. When it was good but not enough and his heart beat could be felt through his cock and the need to orgasm grew to such a height that you actually start to feel stressed and vaguely panicked.

“I love it. Tell me Loki, tell me how much you need it.”

“Thor,” He hissed. “Oh, I’m so close. Touch me please.”

“No baby. You don’t need it.”

“Then faster.”

“No love, just like this. Not demanding, not fast, not consuming. You’ll give your orgasm tonight Loki. Your gift to me.”

Loki was starting to tremble with the need of it as Thor leaned his forehead against his. “Tell me.” Loki said. “I need to hear it Thor. Tell me.”

Thor knew what Loki needed to hear. “I love you Loki.”

Loki arched, shuddered, moan and then erupted in wild thrusts. Each burst was marked with an “Oh” as if he was surprised that it felt so good.

Thor went to pull out but Loki’s legs tightened. “In me. Cum in me.”

Thor smiled. “I’ve never heard sweeter words.” He pulled back to elongate his thrusts. “I could stay in you forever. You feel so good.” Thor went to speed up as his eyes slid shut but hands suddenly gripped his hips and pushed him to his back.

He opened his eyes to see Loki and sat himself on Thor. “No. You’ll cum at the pace I set.” He teased as he started languid movements. “It’ll be my gift.”

Thor laughed. “Loki, I’m never going to cum like this.”

“Of course you will.” Loki smiled. “If I allow it.”

Thor growled. This was why Loki was usually tied up. “That’s enough topping from the bottom.” He flipped them over. “Now lay there and take what I give you.”

Loki allowed himself to be flipped and settled on his back. “So bossy.”

Thor smiled and started his long fast thrusts. He was close. He could feel the contractions about to start when Loki suddenly moved up and he fell out.

Thor opened his eyes to Loki’s wicked. “Oops.”

Thor growled and flipped him on his hands and knees. “Little fucker.”

Loki giggled at Thor started pounding into him. It was harder being that Loki had edged him. He was slightly more sensitive. When he got close enough again, Loki shifted forward suddenly causing him to fall out gain.

Play time was over.

Thor grabbed Loki’s wrists forcing Loki’s face to the bed. He was giggling like mad beneath him groaning at the strain of Thor pounding into him. That was until he realized that in this position, dry orgasms were almost always inevitable.

Loki started to scramble realizing that he was going to lose this battle if he was too out of it to control Thor’s orgasm. “No, no wait.”

“No. no waiting. You did this, now take it.”

Loki’s body imploded, Thor could feel the contractions and he laughed in triumph. Loki was coming in succession now and sounded unhappy about it. “No! Cum already!”

“No, now I’m going to hold it. And I’m going to fuck you until you pass out.”

“What happened to our loving moment?” Loki whined.

“You happened!”

Loki whined louder as Thor controlled his body but he knew Thor was too far gone to keep it up. He only lasted another five minutes but it was enough to exhaust Loki.

Thor felt vindicated.

000

They were making love. There was no other way to put it. Even in the end, when Loki baited Thor into going another round and Thor started swearing at him there was love in their words.

Loki hadn’t told her he loved her in over a month. Not since he started therapy.

And that was fine. She didn’t love him anyway and in regards to Thor, she knew he’d need to her to stick around to be truly happy. Loki would never be able to go deep into the scenes and Thor needed to in order to feel content.

She went down to the kitchen and grabbed a snack. It took a little while but Loki eventually came downstairs to grab something to drink.

“Hey Sif.” His voice was low and slightly horse. “How was your day?”

“Good. You have fun with Tony?” She asked without a hint of the jealousy in her voice.

“Yeah. He got me in trouble though.” He muttered under his breath. “You coming up to bed?”

Why? Did one of them feel in the mood for pussy? “In a minute. I’ve been thinking about doing a scene at the club. I’m sure Thor would love to show off his two subs.”

Loki blinked at her. Yes, he was troubled by this. “What kind of scene?”

“Maybe a whipping scene?” Just like when Daddy and his friends used to beat you. “Then he could take turns with us.”

Loki paled which was a huge accomplishment because he was already paper white. “What makes you think he wants that?”

“We’ve always done scenes you know that. It’s been a while since he played hardcore. I think he deserves it. Don’t you?”

She watched as Loki opened his mouth to close it to open it again. She could hear Thor coming downstairs, probably to see what the holdup was with Loki. “Hey Sif” He said as he walked into the room and kissed her cheek. “You have a good day?”

“Yup. And it’s getting better by the second.” She smiled. “Loki just agreed to do a scene with us at the club.”

For a split second a look of happiness spread on Thor’s face before his brain thought better of it. He looked at Loki. “Are you sure about this?”

If she saw the look of happiness then she knew Loki did. And his need to please Thor would win over his better judgement as it always did with her. Loki nodded like a dummy.

“What kind of scene are we talking?” Thor asked. “Something private?”

“No.” Sif answered before Loki could. “We want to do the whipping scene.”

Thor’s eyes opened so wide they looked like they were going to pop out. “Loki you can’t possibly want to do this.”

“Why not?” Loki asked false bravado evident to Sif but not to Thor. “We already agreed on it.”

Thor kept a moderately concerned look on his face for the rest of the week but his excitement was also evident as the next weekend starting coming around. By Thursday, all apprehension was gone and he seemed almost giddy. In turn, Loki was becoming sterner in doing it, though Sif still didn’t think he’d go through with it.

She wanted Loki to safe word. She wanted to prove to Thor that Loki would never be enough for him. Just like Loki wasn’t enough for her.

When Saturday rolled around Thor had picked out clothes for them to wear, taking time with each one of them to dress them up. He even did their hair. He had them both in pony tails, though Sif’s was longer and higher up on her head.

She had to admit, Loki did look beautifully put together. His outfit was nothing like hers. He was moderately dressed but it fit his body well and accentuated his long lean frame. He looked good in leather.

Better than she thought he would.

The closer to show time it grew, the touchier Thor became. He was getting into the dominant frame of mind and Loki couldn’t have been further from his subspace.

Thor had collard them both as well. Her collar was a red leather, obvious and easy to see. Loki’s was a lot less obvious. A green leather band wrapped around his wrist with that stupid key that kept Thor’s belts locked away dangling from it like a charm.

The whole way to the car Loki was quiet and withdrawn. He was scared. And though a part of her was thrilled at showing Loki up, there was another part of her that realized he might just go through with it. As the car parked she started wondering if Thor was the good dom she thought he was. After all, he should know that his sub wasn’t acting right. He had to have known Loki wouldn’t have wanted to go through with it.

It wasn’t until they exited the car and started the short walk to the club she heard it. It was soft at first and then he repeated it in a stronger voice.

“Red.”

Yes, he safe worded.

000

Loki watched as Thor turned to him slowly, their hands still intertwined while Thor held a backpack full of who knows what. “What did you say?” Thor asked. “Did you safe word?”

At first Loki shook his head to the contrary but then he nodded. “Red. Very red.”

He expected a look of disappointment not a hot look of arousal before being devoured in a kiss.

“Get a room!” Loki heard someone yell, it sounded like Clint.

Thor pulled away from him. “My brave Kitten. You were going to try weren’t you?”

“I wanted you to have this.” Loki’s head was still spinning slightly from the kiss and from the sheer fear he felt three seconds before he safe worded.

“I know. And that’s what got me so hot on Thursday.” Thor told him. “I could see you fighting to please me. I wasn’t going to let you do it through baby. You don’t see how differently dressed you are from Sif?”

It was true. He had on a button down with a leather vest and black leather pants. Sif was almost naked.

“You safe worded.” Thor said. “And the right color. I’m so proud of you. Do you want to go home?”

Loki shook his head though he did want to go home. He didn’t want to see anyone beaten into submission before being reamed in front of a live audience. But he had already pulled Thor’s focus from Sif and sending him home would put Thor in a position of worried about pleasing the sub in front of him but think about the sub at home.

Thor smiled like he knew Loki really did want to go home. “You are too good to me Kitten. Come on. I’ve made arrangements for you.”

Loki let himself be pulled towards the club trying to figure out what Thor would have planned. How did Thor know he was going to safe word? He didn’t even know he was going to safe word until he did it.

The club was crowded. There were going to be a few shows that were going to be going on that night and it had drawn a lot people out. Thor led them into the private section and into room 202. “Start prepping Sif.” Thor had told her. “I have to prep Loki.”

Sif went to do as ordered and Loki frowned. “Prep Loki for what?”

From out his bag Thor pulled a thin, slightly curved vibrator. “Who carried vibrators around you sicko.”

Thor smiled lubing it up before pulling at Loki’s pants. He turned him around and worked it in with little ceremony. “This is to remind you that you are not here alone. Though you aren’t on stage with us, you are not abandoned or forgotten.”

Once righted Loki nodded trying to believe the words that Thor said. He wanted to be able to just go up on stage, strip naked and let Thor beat and screw him into oblivion. But he wasn’t that person. And Sif was right. Thor would need this.

“Come one, I’ve reserved a table for you, Natasha and Bruce. Bruce is a slave tonight. Do you remember what that means?”

Loki followed Thor out the room. “Don’t talk to him.”

“And the other rules of the club.”

“Don’t speak to other doms or subs unless invited to. Don’t let anyone touch me and if they try don’t punch them in the face, tell one of the other doms.” That rule was added after an overly zealous man decided no didn’t always mean no. Though hilarious, and deserving, Thor added the no punching rule as Loki was nearly arrested.

“Tonight, you can ask Natasha all the questions you want once the show starts.” They were still in the private area when Thor stilled and turned back to Loki. “She’ll answer you but if it is something she feels is not her place to answer she will tell you so and you will ask me in the morning. Now, at the appropriate time, you are to return to this room and set it up for Sif’s sub drop. Do you understand?”

Loki was still trying to figure out how he was going to walk around with a dildo rammed inside him. “How will I know the appropriate time?”

Thor smiled. “You’ll know. Come on, I’ll show you to the table. Here is the key to the room.”

Loki followed behind Thor happy for the selection of a long shirt. He gingerly sat down in the chair across from Natasha trying not to star at Bruce sitting at her feet, head bowed and on a leash.

Natasha was nursing a drink looking a little bored when they arrived.

“He’s been briefed.” Thor said to her before grabbing Loki and kissing him possessively on the mouth. “Be a good boy.”

Loki nodded and turned to Natasha who had an interestingly little smile on her lips.

She leaned close. “Did he safe word or you?”

Loki licked his upper lip. “Me.”

Her smile brightened. “Good boy.”

What was it about those words that made him feel so at peace?

The lights dimmed as the first show was starting. There was a sub in the middle of the stage tied down to a bench of some kind. He was blind folded and had what Loki guessed was noise canceling headphones.

“What’s the point of this?” Loki asked not seeing this as anything sexual. “What’s this scene?”

Nat leaned closer to him. “Other tops are going to touch him but he can only cum when it’s his master’s touch.”

That seemed difficult. Without seeing or hearing, what other indicators would a sub have as to which hand was his master’s? “How is he going to know?”

Natasha smiled. “That’s the point. He won’t.”

“Seems impossible.” Loki observed as all kinds of hand caressed the sub’s body.

“It kind of is but there was one sub who managed it. And you’ll never guess who passed it.”

Loki tilted his head. “Who?”

“Tony.”

Loki laughed. “He’s the worse sub ever. Well, next to me.”

Natasha snorted. “You have to be submissive to be a bad one.”

Loki squinted at her. “And you don’t think I’m submissive?”

Natasha thought about it for a moment. “You submit but no I don’t think you’re submissive.”

“You think I’m a slave?” He pressed.

Natasha opened her mouth to say something but then she seemed to think better of it. “That’s a conversation for Thor.”

Loki figured as much. “Well then can you tell me how one can be a slave without being submissive?”

“Being a slave doesn’t mean you’ve submitted.” She was looking down at Bruce. “It’s having a will but trusting your master not to take you further than you can go. It’s believing he or she will always put you first while you put aside your will to do as your master sees fit. Any slave can be a sub but not every sub can be a slave. You do what Thor tells you not because you are submitting but because you trust he has your best interest at heart.”

The slave on the stage groaned and erupted. By the sound of the crowd it wasn’t for his master. “If everyone fails, why do subs do it?”

“To fail and know that you are still treasured.” She said quickly. “That’s sometimes the hardest lesson for a sub… or slave… to learn.

The lights came back on as the stage was prepped for a new act.

Madam Maria came over to them, her and Natasha talking about strange female things which Loki had become adept at ignoring. He was think about ordering wings before the next show started when the phallus in anus started vibrating. The sudden vibration caught him off guard and caused him the grip the table and throw his head back moaning.

Both women were looking at him strangely but he knew they had to have had an idea of why he suddenly decided to start making sex noises out of the blue. It took a moment for him to remember that he had something to do. “I have to go.”

Loki was sure he looked crazy running through the club to the private area but the vibration was urging him on faster.

The next show must have started and as the man on stage was screaming Loki was silently happy to have been called away. He wondered if Thor timed that.

He quickly set up the room for a sub drop. Chocolates, Gatorade, and blankets were all nearby and set up. The vibrations were wrecking him. His pants felt too tight, and he could feel those wicked contractions forming. He tried to fight it off but there was no position he could get it that alleviated the pressure. He didn’t know how long he was there on the verge but he was losing control.

His back arched and the first of his dry orgasms started. Thor came in half carrying Sif.

Loki by this time was on his back ready to tear apart the couch.

“Oh Kitten. You look distressed.” Thor was slightly out of breath but he looked like he was in his element. He loved this, Loki could tell.

Sif was loopy but still conscious. She collapsed on Loki. “I want him to fuck me.”

“You heard the woman. Fuck her.”

Loki groaned as Sif got his cock out and in her in record time.

It was an odd feeling having dry orgasms as his cock was enclosed in her tight heat. It was as if his cock was trying to catch up with his anus. The ache was ridiculous as Thor joined them filling Sif from behind.

“My good Puppet.” He was whispering. “You did so well.”

Sif had started babbling which was the first indication that she was going under.

Loki was just trying to alleviate the pressure in his ass when she arched and clamped down on him. He arched as Thor did, all of them reaching the height together.

Loki was happy Thor turned the vibrations off and as much as he wanted to pull off his pants to dislodge the thing, Sif had collapsed on top of him moaning and shaking.

Thor had covered them with the blanket before setting out to go to the showers.

It had been a long time since he had held his wife and he found that his arms missed her. He ran his fingers through her long black hair kissing on her neck as she came back around snuggling deeper in his warmth. “You smell so good.”

Loki smiled. “You smell like sperm.”

She giggled. She actually giggled as she downed the Gatorade. “I wonder why. I’m going to go shower.”

“Do you need help?”

“No. I’m good.” She was stumbling at first but eventually righted herself. Loki admired her strength. He was always too out of it to think when he went into subspace. Maybe she didn’t go as far under this time.

Loki smiled watching his wife walk away. He wondered if there was a way to make the three of them work. Thor and Sif could give each other what he couldn’t give them and in return with them both he ran less of a risk in annoying them.

In truth he missed his wife. He did still love on her on a very real level. He was just afraid of what he’d do to keep her.

Thor returned showered and looking fresh. “You were the only one that didn’t get naked.” He teased.

Loki shifted. “Can you take it out?”

Thor pouted a bit mimicking Loki’s face. “I’m surprised you didn’t take it out already.”

“You didn’t tell me I could.” Loki explained

Thor smiled pulling down Loki’s pants and pulling out the dildo. “I love that you didn’t pull it out. Where’s Sif?”

“Shower’s. I’ll grab her.” Loki said as he got himself to his feet and righted his pants.

Loki was becoming more comfortable in the club. He was learning where everything was and realized it wasn’t as scary as he thought it was. Everyone was nice to him and once Thor started collaring him before they entered the club, there were no more incidents of people getting grabby.

The only thing he still wasn’t used to was the large amounts of naked people just walking around in the private area.

The woman’s showers were located right across from the men and it suddenly occurred to Loki that he couldn’t just go walking in without looking like a creep.

He stopped a woman, un-collard and asked her. “Was there anyone else in the showers?”

The woman screwed up her face. “Yeah, some trick going down on some dude, which I’m reporting right now. We have private rooms for that.”

The woman went stomping away as Loki stood there hoping the trick wasn’t Sif. She had just had two men screwing her like five minutes ago. There was no way it was her. She probably had went to notify Pepper of the inappropriateness of the couple in the shower and that was what had taken her so long.

The problem was, Loki didn’t believe that. Something in him old him it was his wife. His stomach soured as he pushed opened the door.

There on her knees was his wife and the man she was going down on was Fandral.

He could hear footsteps coming and heard Tony’s voice but his feet wouldn’t work. The couple was so engrossed they didn’t even realize he was standing there.

Tony came up behind him screaming. “We don’t allow this nonsense!”

That made Sif turn around and Fandral open his eyes.

There was something in Tony’s “Oh shit!” and Fandral’s “Loki!” that made him see red. His blood boiled, his brain clicked off and he went charging at the couple.

Tony gripped him, trying to pull him back as he was screaming. “Get Thor!”

He could feel hands holding him back and he was vaguely aware of Fandral trying apologize but there was no amount of apology that was going to calm him. He felt Thor’s hands around his waist pulling him back and out the showers.

He could hear Sif calling out to him and he was fully aware of the eyes on him and that enraged him more. He was embarrassed. Everyone knew him as Sif’s husband. Everyone knew that already Loki had to bring in another man to do for his wife what he couldn’t. It fueled his anger and propelled him forward to get his hands on Fandral.

He couldn’t beat his wife but he could bash Fandral’s face in.

But when Bruce came to help Thor get him out the club, he was shoved in Clint’s car and escorted far away from the scene.

000

Sif sat on the bed, her things surrounding her in suitcases and bags. Loki didn’t go home with them last night. Clint had driven him back to the home he shared with Jane and kept him there. Thor wouldn’t tell her how he was but he did present her with divorce papers already signed with Loki’s elegant hand writing.

She felt both relief and sadness. She was glad it was over. Being able to pull the weight that was Loki was off her shoulders was liberating but Thor had no idea what he was getting himself into. She knew she came off as cruel and mean but Loki was no prince and Thor would come to see that.

She could hear Thor’s footsteps on the steps leading to the bedroom that she had claimed as her for far too long. He wasn’t as hurt when he found out she had stepped out their relationship but that didn’t surprise Sif. They didn’t love each other. They owed each other nothing.

“Your cab is here.” Thor said as he entered the room. “Do you need help?”

Sif snorted. “I can’t believe nearly twelve years of marriage is over and it was him who left me.”

Thor sighed. “Why didn’t you leave him?”

“He owed me.” Came her cryptic answer. “Did you know he tried to kill himself once?”

Thor shook his head. Of course he didn’t know. It wasn’t something that either of them advertised.

“He gave no indication that anything was even wrong.” She started. “I came home one day to an ambulance outside, peeling him off the floor. He had jumped out of our seventh floor apartment window. The doctor’s said it was a miracle he hadn’t died. He was in a comma for a month. He’d broken his back, fractured his skull, the doctors doubted he’d wake up and if he did, they doubted he’d be able to walk or even talk.” She took a moment to take a breath. “I wished he would die.” She was crying now, remembering the desperation she felt. “A month of going to the hospital every day, my whole life on hold all because he was too weak to get over his childhood. I’d never been less attracted to him than I was at that moment.”

She looked at Thor who was looking at her with an unreadable look on his face.

“Then he woke up.” She continued. “And for two years my life was all about him. Hospitals, rehabs, institutions, it seemed like he’d never just get better. Everything was about him and his needs and I was angry Thor. When he got back home I couldn’t stand to be near him. I wouldn’t let him touch me despite his apologies and oaths that he’d never do it again. Eventually I told him I wanted out and he begged me not to go. Said he’d do anything. And I told him what it would take to keep me. I wanted to sleep around, I wanted to get back on the scene and he OWED me. Think me a bitch if you want, but trust me when I tell you, Loki will suck the life out of you.”

She stood up. “Let me show you a glimpse of your perfect little Kitten.” She left the room for a moment and brought in a bag she knew Thor would recognize. “When your little Kitten comes home, ask him how he got a bag of your trinkets and photo albums from the house that burned down. Trust me, this isn’t to make you think Loki is a monster, because he isn’t, but you had better realize that everything he touches he ruins and you will be no exception. Get out, while you still can.”

The cab honked and she left Thor sitting on the bed looking confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Thor forgive Loki for what he did? Can Loki forgive himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. I reread it but I'm human.

Thor looked through the bag astonished at what was inside. The things in the bag were all of sentimental value but how would Loki have gotten them? And how would he have known those things held any value at all? It’s not like they were all in a draw some place. They were spread out around his house, some on mantles, and some hanging on his walls in various rooms.

None of this made sense. Not unless Loki actually did burn his house down.

He was so engrossed by the contents of the bag, that he didn’t even hear when Loki came in. The only alert he had that he was no longer alone was the almost whispered “Shit.”

Thor looked up at Loki who looked tired and disheveled. He was taken the divorce hard, Thor knew but he couldn’t act like he hadn’t seen what he saw. “You burned my house down?”

Loki shook his head. “No.” But offered no other explanation.

“Then how did you get my things?” Thor asked. “How?” He said the word harder than he meant to but he was barely hanging on at that point.

Loki’s face was blank but Thor imagined he must be terrified. It was in the way he licked his lips and closed his hands into fists. “I was in your house when it was set on fire.”

“In my house?” That was beyond creepy. “Why were you in my house?”

“I wanted to know more about you.” Was Loki’s reply. He said it as if it was a normal thing. As if people broke into other people’s houses to start a friendship all the time.

“Start from the beginning Loki because I am having a hard time understanding this.” Because it didn’t make sense. None of it did. People didn’t just break into someone’s house and then bag all of their cherished possessions as said house was burning down.

“Sif wanted you and it was my job to get you.” Loki explained. “But I had to be sure that you were a good guy, so I followed you around for a couple of weeks. The more I knew about you,” Loki took a breath, his eyes glazing over remembering what drove him there, “the more I hated you. You were so loved but everyone. You were so confident. I figured you’d turn me down if I asked you to move in.”

Thor still didn’t think that made sense, but Loki wasn’t entirely wrong. A large reason why he decided to try out the unconventional threesome was that they were offering a room.

“You had no reason to move in other wise. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to know. I started going into your house when you weren’t home, it wasn’t even something I could control. I just wanted to be there.” One arm covered his chest and held the elbow on the other arm.

Thor knew he was starting to feel exposed and though he felt bad for Loki, he couldn’t erase the picture of Loki being in his home and touching his things when he wasn’t there. It was disturbing.

“One day, while I was there, your ex from Hydra came by and started spreading gasoline around the house. I grabbed the stuff I knew you would want and went out through the back door. I sat in my car across the street and watched as he lit the house up. I knew if you had no place to go, you would agree to my proposition. I waited until the house was beyond saving and called it in from a pay phone.”

Thor blinked trying absorb everything he’d just learned. Even after hearing the full version of the story, he still didn’t understand. What would drive someone to stalk someone like that and to be so cold about it? “You realize that’s crazy right?”

“Sif wanted you. I needed to please her.” Loki said it as if that made everything alright.

“Loki you sat there and watched my house burn. That was everything I had.” Thor said. “And then you keep a bag of things? When were you going to tell me about this?”

Loki shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe when you and Sif separated. I didn’t plan that far ahead. I didn’t know you liked me, I would have just asked you to move in if I knew.”

“This is wrong. On so many levels this is wrong.” Thor said zipping up the bag. “I need space.”

“Please don’t go.” Loki sounded so small and unsure. “I love you.”

“No Loki, you’re obsessed with me.” There was a difference.

“What’s the difference?” And apparently Loki didn’t know that. That was scary.

Thor stared at Loki then, trying to understand Loki’s logic but he couldn’t. None of it made sense. “Loki you’re not right. You’re not well.”

“We know that already though. That’s why I’m going to therapy.”

“No, this is beyond anything I could have thought.” Thor said more to himself to Loki. He knew Loki wasn’t right. He knew a childhood full of abuse and a wife that couldn’t look past her own feelings to help her husband had left scars on Loki. But he never would have expected this.

Loki frowned. “You’re going to leave me?”

Thor didn’t really have an answer. “I need air. I need to think.”

“Please Thor,” He was still so calm, his voice void of any emotion. “I can fix this. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

That was what he offered Sif. To make up for his insanity he would destroy himself over and over just so that he was never alone. “No Loki. I need to go.”

Thor grabbed his bag of memories and walked passed Loki. As he descended the stairs he could hear Loki behind him, following his every step.

“Please Thor.” His voice was quivering a bit and Thor knew he was crying.

But he wouldn’t turn around. He wouldn’t do what Sif did. He would figuring out his own feelings and then tend to Loki’s. He couldn’t help Loki if he was broken and scared himself. Without turning back he opened the front door and left.

He got into his car and drove three blocks before he realized he’d left an unwell sub alone. One who had a history of cutting himself and now he knew suicide attempts. He picked up his phone to dial Steve but before he could, his phone started ringing and a picture of the other man popped up.

He answered it quickly. “I was just about to call you. Can you send Darcy…”

“I’m already on my way to pick him up.” Steve interjected.

“What?” Thor was surprised. No more than two minutes had passed by. “How did you…”

“He called Darcy and her you left.” Steve explained. “She said he sounded bad.”

“He shouldn’t be alone.” Thor said sadly.

“That’s why I’m calling you. I’m going to have him pack some things up and stay with me for a while.”

Thor sighed. At least Loki wouldn’t be alone and he found that despite his anger, he was proud Loki called for help. “Thank you Steve.”

“Of course. Once he’s settled in I’ll call you back and you can tell me what the hell is going on.”

“Yeah, ok.” He’d have to explain a lot of things which was going to be difficult because still none of it made sense.

The phone disconnected and Thor sat in the car for a few moments in silence trying to understand how things got to crazy so fast.

Loki stalked him, watched his house burn down to manipulate him into moving to sleep with his wife. Loki hated him. So when and how did that turn to love in Loki’s mind? Or was it that he loved Thor simply because Thor loved him first?

Thor took his car off park and started to Natasha’s house. For the second time in his life, he was homeless.

Steve must have told her what happened because when he got there she had already had a meal prepared for him with a large glass of whiskey. “What happened?” She asked when he settled at the kitchen table. “Steve said you broke up with Loki?”

“I didn’t break up with him.” Thor clarified. “I just needed to think. I need to think”

“About what? What changed?” She looked as confused as he felt. “Is it because Sif is gone.”

Thor snorted. “Not really, though that was the catalyst. Loki knew who burned my house down because he was there when it happened.”

She frowned, one eye lower than the other. “What was he doing at your house? And why didn’t he say anything before?”

“He was stalking me, though if he hear his side of it, he was doing a background check to be sure I was worthy of his wife.” Thor leaned back in the chair no longer hungry. It was Loki’s flippant attitude about it that was really concerning. “He had a bag of my personal belongings. He was in my house as the fire started.”

“That’s creepy. Are you sure he didn’t start it?”

“He said Amore did it.”

“Amore your ex-boyfriend from Hydra?” That was a name she hadn’t heard in a long time.

“Yup. And that is only the tip of it. Can you believe the reason Sif stopped loving Loki was because he tried to kill himself? Imagine, if he had just gotten help then, none of this would have happened.”

Natasha sat back herself now folding her arms over her chest. “He told you that?”

“No Sif did. And she said it as if it was all his fault.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I love him, but I don’t think Loki knows what love actually is.”

“That’s probably true but not entirely his fault.” She looked angry though Thor knew it wasn’t at him. She was listening to a story about Loki but comparing it Bruce’s. “It’s not like anyone has ever loved him properly. How did this come out? He told you?”

“No. Sif gave me a bag full of things from my old house.”

A weird look passed over Natasha’s face. “So she knew about this?”

Thor gaped. “Oh my god.” It never occurred to him. She knew exactly where the bag was. She knew what Loki’s did, knew it was wrong, and did nothing about it.

“Why didn’t she tell you then?” Natasha looked outraged now. “So Loki thinks it’s alright what a house burn down as long as he gets something from it and Sif thinks it’s ok to condone her crazy husband’s antic as long as she gets something from it?”

“Oh my god.” Was all he could say. “My god. Who knows what else he’s done in her name.”

“Totally. So what is it that you’re unsure about?” She asked. “Are you think about leaving him? Because right now he sounds a little scary. But then, everyone told me to leave Bruce when he started punching holes in the wall and throwing chairs all over the place.”

“I don’t want to leave him Natasha, but I don’t know if his love for me is healthy or if it’s even love.” He remembered when Natasha first started seeing Bruce. He had all the signs of an abuser. He was highly jealous, volatile and Natasha was half his size. And he was one of the ones who told her to leave him.

She helped turn him around though. And it wasn’t a fast process, or an easy one.

“Well it just happened and you’re still raw.” She said breathing out her frustrations. “You can’t make any decisions right now and Loki is with friends. They will take care of him.”

Thor nodded though it he didn’t feel any better.

Days had passed though Thor couldn’t tell. Steve told him Loki had transferred from the precinct and was selling his house. He was taking his meds and going to therapy but he also told Thor that the man wasn’t actually doing well. He barely ate and slept a lot which they both knew was a sign of depression.

But he wasn’t cutting himself and he was never alone so all Thor could do was offer Steve advice on how to talk to the man. As much as Thor wanted to speak to Loki himself, he still wasn’t sure what he would say to him and he knew Loki would want answers.

By the end of the week Thor was exhausted. He’d felt like he hadn’t slept well in a month not just a few days. It was making it even harder to think.

He got into his car and pulled out his phone seeing that he had a missed call and a message from Loki. The man had been doing pretty well with not calling and he knew that had to be hard for him. But he had asked for space and Loki would give that to him even if it tore his heart out to give it.

He waited until he got back to Natasha’s house before he put the phone to his ear to listen.

“Hey Thor, its Loki. Um… I know you probably don’t want to talk to me but I wanted to explain. I… I never set out to hurt you. Sif wanted you and I had to keep her. I just wanted… I needed you to move in and I didn’t even think about how it affected you because I hated you and I loved her and all I wanted was to make things right again with her. And I know you don’t understand that.”

He paused then, and Thor could hear the hitch in his breath. He was starting to cry. “You’ll never understand that Thor. What it means when you only have one good thing in your life and know that one weak moment in your life caused her to hate you so much. I couldn’t be alone again and I wanted her happiness at any cost but the cost was you and I’m sorry Thor. I’m so sorry.”

Thor could feel his eyes watering. He hadn’t cried in years and yet it was bubbling up fast. To hear how desperate Loki was and how frantic. He couldn’t imagine how many nights Loki went to sleep wondering if Sif would be gone when he woke up. Loki was right, he couldn’t understand that level of desperation. Truth be told, he really didn’t want to.

“But I know where I went wrong with her.” Loki continued. “I know what I did wrong. I kept her long after she was done. I was always fighting a lose battle and I should have just admitted defeat. That’s what I’m doing with you Thor. And I don’t want to do that to you. I’m going to let you go. You’re a good man, and I know you feel some responsibility with me but don’t. You’ve done more for me than anyone ever did and I can’t repay that. I love you Thor. So much. But I’m broken and you deserve something better.”

The phone disconnected and a sort of panic set in. He just wanted time to think. He didn’t Loki to go away. He just wanted some time removed from the situation.

He quickly dialed Loki’s number but got a recording notifying callers that the number was disconnected. He quickly dialed Steve’s number questioning him as soon as he heard the other’s man voice. “Is Loki still with you? Is he alright?”

“Loki’s fine and no he’s not with me.” Steve answered. “He’s in a hotel until he finds an apartment he likes.”

“His number is off?” Thor told him. “Did you know his number was turned off?”

“Yes. It’s been changed.” Steve said. “I have it.”

Thor waited two beats before responding. “Then give it to me.”

“No.” Steve didn’t wait any beats. “No, I’m not doing that.

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean no. He doesn’t want you to have it and to be honest I can’t really fault his reasoning.”

“And that is?”

Steve paused and Thor got the feeling that he was choosing his words carefully. “He needs to learn to be alone.”

“Alone?” Loki couldn’t have used those words. “He’s always alone. He’s been alone since birth.” Loki could be in a room full of people and still feel alone.

“On one level yes. But on another he’s had Sif his entire adult life. Whatever he has to offer you right now is tainted.” Thor knew that wasn’t Loki’s words either. But he must have said something that made Steve draw that conclusion. “He has friends, we check his meds, make sure he goes to therapy. He had to check in with me every morning and Pepper every night.”

“He isn’t your sub, or Pepper’s.” That rubbed Thor the wrong way. Loki wasn’t a throw away sub. Thor loved him and the idea of other doms taking care of him made him feel like he somehow failed Loki.

“Your right,” Steve agreed. “He isn’t anyone’s sub right now and he belongs to club. And the same way I would help any sub I am helping him. Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same for Darcy.”

“Not the same.” Darcy was independent. Darcy didn’t feel the need to bleed for the person she loved.

He should have never left Loki.

“Completely the same. When he’s ready he’ll contact you and if he doesn’t, Thor it’s his decision. And right now, I’m telling you, he’s in no condition to make any decisions.”

Thor sighed. “Fine. I’m sure I’ll thank you tomorrow but right now I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Steve snorted. “Call me tomorrow then.”

Thor hung up just as Natasha pushed her way through the front door. “Hey Thor.”

“Don’t hey Thor me. Are you in on this too?”

Natasha smiled. “Of course. Next to Darcy, Bruce is Loki’s best friend.”

Thor watched her walk into the kitchen. “And you’re just going to keep him from me?”

“He’s keeping you from him.” She answered grabbing a beer from out the fridge. “He doesn’t want to see you and, to be honest, I think he needs this.”

“To go through a divorce alone?” Thor asked, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“He is far from alone.” Natasha was not fazed by Thor’s anger. “I don’t know if you noticed, but Loki is using the network of friends you set up for him. He isn’t running or hiding or doing anything self-destructive. He is trying to get better with the tools you gave him Thor.”

She was right. Of course she was. But it didn’t make it easier, to know that Loki was leaning on them. “He should have my help.”

“He had your help.” She reminded. “He still follows your eating schedule and medication schedule. Where do you think he even got the courage to try this on his own? You think that came from Sif? Or maybe from the near year you’ve been telling how great he is?”

Thor knew there was truth to this but the very idea of Loki going to sleep alone and waking up that way was heart wrenching. He must be so afraid. But then, it is a much better place now than he was even two months ago.

“Thor, do want the Loki that watched your house burn down? Or do you want a Loki that realizes that was insane and that if someone doesn’t want him it’s their lost?” She made it sound so much better than it felt.

Thor felt like his help wasn’t enough. He wished he go back in time. He wished he would have confronted Loki with his feelings a lot sooner. He sighed. “I want him better.”

“Then give him the space he’s asking for. Just like he gave you the space you asked for.”

Thor slumped in defeat. She was right. Everyone was right. But it was hard.

And as time went by, it only got harder.

Winter rolled around again and Loki still hadn’t called him. The holidays came and went with Darcy spending half her time with them and half with Loki in his new apartment. They would give him updates weekly about his new dog and Darcy even had a picture of when they rescued the pup from the ASPCA.

Loki had gained weight and the dog was an adorable husky with one brown eye and one blue. Though Loki was smiling there was still a loneliness in his eyes. He had spent Thanksgiving alone and Christmas. New Year came and went and he spent it sleeping.

Thor was going to get him. Christmas day he was going to demand that someone give up his address, or meet him at his therapists office and drag him back home. But Loki had send him a Christmas present. It was the belts he had kept in the closet along with the key he had given Loki to keep them locked up.

To Thor is was the equivalent of taking off his collar and returning it. Loki telling him to move on. He wasn’t coming back.

Thor had to figure out if he was going to let that happen.

000

Loki pulled his groceries out the back of his car and then headed towards the front door of his apartment building. He opened the door to his apartment to his ever happy husky Fenrir jumping up and down. “Hey boy! You ready to make dinner?”

The dog licked his lips though Loki knew it was more because of the smell of raw meat in his grocery back and not because he actually understood making dinner.

Having a dog made him feel less along in the apartment. He had never lived alone before and it was both a great and awful thing. Loki liked solitude but there were times that he wanted to talk to someone or just hear someone existing in the house.

Loki and his pup walked side by side to the small kitchen and Loki started to unpack his food. “Did you have a good day?” He asked Fenrir. “I had the commute from Hell. Did you know that there was a construction on the BQE? Well I wish you would have told me because I was sitting there for twenty minutes contemplating killing the construction workers.”

The dog sat there looking at Loki as he always did when his owner went on his rants.

“But, its Friday so I let them live. As a treat, I bought steak for dinner.” Loki started to preheat his oven before opening the pack of steak. “A nice steak bone will be a great way to start the weekend yes?”

A soft knock on the door brought both Loki and Fenrir out of kitchen. “Darcy.” Loki smiled as he opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

As always, Darcy had a smile on her face. Even when crying, Loki noticed, she was smiling. “I wanted to talk to you about something real quick. You have a minute?”

“Yeah sure. Come into the kitchen, I’m starting dinner.” L

“Cool.” Darcy followed behind him making kissy noises to Fenrir as she sat at the table.

“So what’s up?” Loki continued to unbag the stuff he brought for dinner.

“Um, well,” Loki glanced at her trying to figure out why she was choosing her words so carefully. “it’s a new year and… um… well I was just wondering… screw it! When are you getting back with Thor?”

Loki smiled at his friend amused by her attempts to casually bring it up. “I’m not.”

The smile on his made it seem like he was going to deliver good news. It took her a moment to realize he actually declined to get back with Thor. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not getting back with him.” He was slicing up some onions to mix in with steak. “Is that all you wanted? You could have called for that.”

“Loki, you love Thor.” Darcy reminded him. “He loves you.”

“Love isn’t everything.” He calmly stated. “I’m better on my own.”

“Says who?” Fenrir was now sitting on her lap enjoying a snuggle.

“Says me and I’m the one who has to live my life.” Loki told her, his voice rising slightly. “I obsess over Fenrir. I check him for fleas every day and while I’m at work, I leave my web cam on so I can see him. Imagine with a person! I’m better, I admit that but I’ll never be right.”

Darcy snorted. “Who is? You think Thor is right? He likes to keep you in chastity and chain you to beds? You think Steve is right? He likes to give me spankings and needs me to call him every two hours. None of us are right Loki but we’re right for each other.”

Loki put his knife down. “Did you jump out of a seven story building?”

He saw he resistance to answering in the way she rolled her eyes up in her head. “No.”

“Did you watch someone’s house burn down with glee and happiness?” He was exaggerating. There was no glee but he was happy the opportunity presented itself to get Thor in a place of need. It took a long time for Loki to realize what was wrong with that.

“No.” Her eyes were still in her head.

“Then don’t try to compare my not right with your not right.” Because Loki knew he was very not right. And Darcy’s not right made her adorable. His not right made him a stalker.

“Alright well then let me ask you this, have you ever laid in someone’s arms and felt like all is right with the world even while you’re watching channel eleven news?”

Not it was his turn to roll his eyes in his head. “Yes.”

“Have you ever sat on the couch with someone with butterflies in your stomach all because he reached over and held your hand?”

“What’s your point?” He started cutting peppers to add to the onions.

“My point is, you’ve done some pretty out of this world stuff. But that doesn’t make you unlovable or unable to love. What are you going to live alone forever?”

She was so dramatic. It was one of the reasons why he liked her. “I’m not thinking about forever Darcy, I’m thinking about getting through one day at a time.”

“You’ve been getting through days just fine Loki what you need is a life. If you don’t want Thor fine, but you can’t hide in here forever. Come to the club…”

“No.” Was his quick answer.

“Then come to Tony’s party.”

“No.” That answer was a little slower.

“Then come to Steve’s house for dinner Saturday.” She pressed on not taking no for an answer.

“Darcy, I appreciate what you’re saying. I do.” Loki smiled. “I know you just want what’s best for me.”

“And that’s Thor.” She interjected.

Loki rolled his eyes and faced her waving his knife through the air. “Yes Thor is good for me. But am I good for Thor?”

Darcy gave him a sad face. “I know you are. What concerns me is that you still don’t realize how great you are.”

Loki sighed. “Darcy, I’m...”

“Afraid.”

He sighed heavier. “I watched his house burn down.”

“Oh I see, you’re embarrassed.” She said it like she found the answer one of life’s great mysteries.

“Is that the emotion?” Loki asked returning to the peppers. “I can’t face that man again. He has seen me at my worse.”

“And loved you through all of it. Imagine what he’d think of you now.” She put Fenrir down, much to the puppy’s dismay. “You’re all thick and muscular.”

Loki snorted.

“And he hasn’t had a lover since you so he’s going to be prime to blow.”

Loki turned a bright red which he knew was her intent. She was so raunchy sometimes. “Don’t you have to go cook for Steve.”

“Yes,” She stood up and went to let herself out. “Now that I know what the holdup is.”

“Darcy.” He stopped her though there was a part of him that saying he should stick to his guns and let the conversation go. “Do you still think he wants me?”

“I know he does.” She smiled. “He asks about you almost every day.” She took a moment then, her lips puckered as if she started contemplating something. “Look, as much as I want you two to get back together, I want you to be ready. I just don’t want you sitting here thinking you don’t deserve some happiness in your life because you’ve made mistakes.”

“But I can’t act like it didn’t happen.” They were big mistakes. Bigger than he originally thought when everything first came to light months ago.

“There has to be some middle Loki.” Darcy seemed so sure of it. “I love you and if I can then why can’t Thor?”

It was a question Loki couldn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do they get back together? And will it be the same or different?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta and I reread it but I reread it tonight and I'm tired.

_“I hear you and Loki broke up. Trust me it’s for the best.”_

Sif had been in the club last night with Fandral. She looked well enough but any friendliness he felt toward her vanished as soon as she started talking. This woman was taking such pleasure in knowing Loki left with nothing. She was so set on Loki being the one who was demented that she failed to see how sick her pleasure at his pain was.

_“Loki has serious issues to work through.”_ Like she didn’t.

To make it worse, it was Valentine’s Day. Normally, Thor wasn’t into celebrating the Hallmark holiday but he couldn’t help but think about what he’d be doing if Loki was with him. To add salt in the wound, all of his friends were getting together for a couples day and for the first time, Thor had no one to take.

He suddenly had a lot of respect for Steve who had been alone a long time before he met Darcy.

He could have picked some other sub at the club for the night, but he felt like it would have been an insult to Loki. No one could replace Loki and he would use no one as a filler. If Loki was sleeping alone then so was he.

The day moved by so slowly and he couldn’t concentrate on anything long enough to do anything productive. He settled on sitting in the kitchen playing Candy Crush and eating peanuts at Natasha’s table. He hadn’t even bothered to get an apartment yet. He was holding on to the hope that Loki would come back and they would make a home together. But spring was approaching again and Thor realized he had to face the fact that Loki wouldn’t be coming home.

Bruce came downstairs dressed to impress in a grey suit. “Thor.” He said in salutations.

“Hey Bruce.” Thor responded not looking up from his game.

“I’m going to go pick up Nat from work.” Bruce continued. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“No, it’ll just make me depressed.”

“You’re not already?” Bruce said with amusement in his voice. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Thor said pausing his game and putting his phone down on the table.

Bruce seemed to be choosing his words carefully before asking. “How did you and Loki get together?”

“What do you mean?” Thor frowned tilting his head slightly.

“I mean, you were there for like a year and then all of a sudden, you were a couple.” Bruce explained. “What made things change?”

Thor took a moment to think back to the day things changed and remembered vividly what played a role in moving their relationship forward. He remembered having the man hemmed up in the bathroom and forcing him to take his attention and his love. He remembered every shutter and moan. He remembered how Loki looked up against the wall and how he both rebelled and submitted intermittently.

But things were different now. After hearing Loki’s stories about his father, and learning what Sif did to him, he couldn’t ever be that rough again with him. Even if he did enjoy it and in some ways craved it, he knew things couldn’t be like that day.

Could it?

Bruce continued when Thor remained silent for a moment too long. “He told me. He said you made the decision that he couldn’t. See a sub might approach a dom but no slave would. If you don’t get him, I don’t think he’s going to come to you.”

Thor frowned. That sounded like something he could have said to another dom at one point. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he was sure that he had told it to Natasha. “What if he doesn’t want me to?”

“Thor, he still follows your schedule! He cooks as if you’re coming through the door at any moment. He’s waiting for his master.” Bruce explained. “He wants you to claim him.”

“What makes you so sure?” Thor asked. “What makes you think he isn’t happy to be away from this lifestyle?”

“Because I’m a slave.” Bruce replied simply. “I never approached Natasha. We are where we are because she led me here. Loki’s going to stand still until someone takes the lead. And if it isn’t you, it will be someone else. And someone else isn’t going to love him as much as you do.”

Bruce left it at that and went to pick up his Mistress.

Thor was still undecided though. Bruce made sense. He’d always known Loki was more slave than sub but then he wasn’t sure if he even really knew Loki. The other man would put up a front to be what Thor and Sif wanted. Who was Loki really? Did he even like being dominated? Or did he do it because he knew Thor wanted it.

He’d never find out if he didn’t ask though. But he couldn’t ask if no one would tell him where Loki was.

He thought about meeting him at his therapist’s office, but being outside for their first meeting wasn’t a good idea.

It was a holiday though, a made up one, so Darcy would be bringing Loki some kind of cake to enjoy. He knew Darcy wouldn’t out right tell him where Loki was living, her loyalty was to Loki about him. But she didn’t have to tell him, she just had to show him.

Thor quickly drove to Steve’s house and waited across the street for almost an hour before he saw Darcy come out of her house and start walking down the street carrying what looked like a cupcake pan. She walked only about three blocks and turned the corner before she stopped in from of an apartment building and pressed a button. He couldn’t tell which button she pushed from his car but he saw that it was on the top row of buttons and third from the left.

She was buzzed in and only stayed for a few minutes before she came back out, hands free of the pan she was carrying and headed back towards her house. Thor put his car in park and took a breath to ready himself. He wasn’t certain what he’s say or what he’d do he then, he hadn’t had a plan when he took Loki in the bathroom either and that worked for them.

Thor walked to the apartment building’s front door and pressed the button Darcy pressed which was to house 1C.

Loki didn’t ask who was there, instead he just buzzed open the door.

Thor walked in to the building, found apartment 1C and knocked. He could hear a dog whimpering at the door before he heard Loki’s voice. “What did you…” The door opened and suddenly there he was, speechless and beautiful.

Before he could close the door in his face, Thor pushed his way in closing the door behind.

The two men just stood there looking at each other for a moment with an over active puppy yipping at Thor’s feet. “Thor?” Loki finally said. “What are you doing here?”

Thor smiled a little. “To get you.”

“Why?” Loki looked legitimately confused.

“Because I love you Loki. All I want is you.” Thor told him keeping it as simple as he could.

Loki’s face was blank for a moment before he said, “You want a coffee or something?”

Thor sighed in some relief. At least he was willing to talk and not sending him back out in the street. “Sure.”

Thor followed behind Loki to a relatively small kitchen. The apartment seemed nice but it was a downgrade from the house Loki left. He sat at the kitchen table and watched as Loki moved around the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

Thor had to admit Loki looked better. He was thicker but still lean and his skin wasn’t as pale. His jet black hair was a little longer but he still wore it in a ponytail. “You look good Loki.”

Loki nodded. “Thanks.” He looked at Thor then. “So do you.”

Thor smiled as Loki carried on making the coffee. “Why haven’t you come home?”

“I didn’t know there was one waiting for me.” The direct question caused a direct answer.

“I told you I just needed time.” Thor reminded him. “And not months of it.”

“And you would have come back and done what Sif did.” Loki sounded sure if his response. He’d obviously given it some thought.

There was no thought to Thor’s reply. “No.”

“Yes Thor. Yes. You would have stomached my psychosis for a little while before you would feel like you can’t leave me but you can’t love me either.”

“Loki you can’t think that about me.” Thor was insulted. He wasn’t Sif and if Loki really thought that he was, then their relationship might have been more foregone than he previously though.

“Why not?” Loki asked. “Because whispered words of love? I’ve had those. They’re empty.”

Thor frowned. “Fine, you don’t believe in words. What about actions? I’ve shown you how much I’ve wanted you.”

“You pitied me.” Loki corrected.

“What?”

“The first time you took me, we didn’t even have sex but you owned me. You claimed me. But no time after that did you do it.”

Thor opened and closed his mouth a couple of times realizing Bruce might have been right. “Loki, you were abused, Sif was abusing you and I didn’t know what your triggers were. I wasn’t going to make things worse.”

“So then we’re bother liars.”

“What are you…”

“I acted like everything was always fine and you acted like you’d be fine without my submission.”

Thor huffed realizing there was truth to that statement. . “Loki, I want you.”

“To submit.”

“As you are. Whatever you’re offering.”

“But will it satisfy you?” Loki asked. “Would you go to bed satisfied or would your eyes start to wonder?”

Thor grunted starting to become more and more annoyed. Loki was clear headed and sounded as if he had given this a thought more than once. How many times did Loki want to pick up the phone but convinced himself not to. “Loki…”

“Thor, please.” All the busy work Loki was doing to keep himself detached stopped and now he faced Thor fully, head held high. “Sif needed it. Do you need it?”

Thor wasn’t quick to answer because he wanted to be honest. He needed submission but he was certain that whatever level of submission Loki could give would cause satisfaction. “Yes.”

Loki nodded but said nothing.

“We don’t need to talk about it right now Loki. I just wanted to close the gap between Loki.”

Loki nodded but still said nothing.

Thor nodded as well and stood up. “I should go.”

“What if I don’t want you to go?” Loki said sternly.

Thor stopped surprised by the tone of voice more than the words. “Then I’ll stay.”

“And what if I want you to make love to me.”

This wasn’t the man that would asked for kisses in whispered tones. “Then I’ll do that.”

“But what if I want you to fuck me?”

Thor raised a brow as his mouth went dry.

“What if I want you to claim me?”

Thor hardened so fast he got a head rush. “Do you know what you’re asking?” Thor was certain Loki couldn’t have understood what the words he was saying meant.

“I’m asking you to be Thor. I won’t know if I can’t take it if you don’t give it to me. I am asking you to own me.”

Everything in Thor said take him right there on the table, but no, he had to find Loki’s frame of mind. He had to be sure that the person making this decision was a sane and rational and that it wasn’t the person that would do anything to please someone he loved. “You’re taking your meds?”

“Every day.”

“Let me see them.”

Loki looked unsure for a moment but then opened one of the kitchen draws and took and three bottles. Thor took them and read the date it was filled and then looked in to the bottles and counted the pills.

His Kitten was doing well.

“Owning someone is not just about sex. Are you sure you…”

“I’ve spoken to Natasha and I’ve spoken to Bruce.” Loki interrupted. “I know what I’m asking.”

That would explain why Bruce was certain about Loki’s desire to be a slave. “Alright.” Thor walked to Loki then and framed Loki’s face in his hands. “Finish the coffee. I’m going to take a look through your apartment.” He placed a chaste on Loki’s lip and pulled away which only caused Loki to grab a hold of him and place a kiss on him. Thor backed off causing Loki to frown. “You take what I give you, and I gave you an order.”

For a moment Thor was worried about the seemingly hurt look in his eyes. But then those green eyes slowly changed into one of defiance. He smiled and then nodded.

Thor left the room with a smile on his face. He looked around the apartment. It was obvious Loki loved his dog because there were toys, shampoo and conditioner for dogs and dog beds scattered all over the place.

It was just as obvious that Loki used the dog in lieu of human companionship.

He was only in the bedroom for a few minutes before Loki joined him with two cups of coffee. The smell reached him before Loki did. “Do you like my apartment?”

“It’s nice.” Thor took the offered cup of coffee. “Are you attached to it?”

Loki thought about it for a moment before answering. “Not particularly no. Why? Where are you staying?”

“Natasha’s.” Thor told him as he watched Loki sipping down his coffee quickly. “I’m still staying at Natasha’s.”

“Why?”

“There is no home without you.” Thor told him making Loki make an ‘aww’ face before he added, “Take off your clothes.”

The switch threw Loki off, Thor could see it. The sweet words followed by a harsh demand made him hesitate but only for a couple of moments.

Loki started pulling off his clothes, starting with his white t-shirt and then his shoes. Thor stood there sipping his coffee and enjoying the view. Though Loki’s body showed signs of being uncomfortable with stripping his lip tucked in his teeth and his eyes was cast down.

Thor sipped his coffee as he walked around Loki inspecting his body. He had no new scars on his body, the added weight must have been muscle because Loki still had a lot of definition in his stomach. He came up behind Loki and whispered in his ear. “Get on the bed and show yourself to me.”

There was no hesitation in Loki now. He got on the bed on all fours and opened himself to Thor. He was also visibly hard.

Thor went opening and closing the drawers until he found a tub of lube. He coated his finger and without any warning, sunk a finger down to the second knuckle.

Loki sucked in a startled breath.

Thor frowned. Loki was tight, but not as tight as he should have been after having been celibate for the last several months. Which meant, someone must have had the pleasure of being inside of him. “Who have you let inside you?”

Loki turned to face him. “What?”

“Don’t lie to me Loki. I know your body. Who have you let in you?”

“No one.” Loki answered looking concerned. “No one.”

Thor pulled his finger out. “Either you have had sex recently or you…” Thor stopped then when an idea occurred him. “Kitten, have you got a toy?”

Loki’s pink cheeks answered that question.

Thor smiled. That pleased him so. Did Loki fantasize about him? Was he whispering Thor’s name at night as he brought himself off? “Alright, under the covers.”

Loki frowned again. “I thought…”

“We have a lot to still talk about Loki, before I give you want you want. Tonight, I’m going to hold you like I’ve wanted to do since I left you.”

Loki seemed to think about that for a moment before nodding. “Alright.”

Though it wasn’t too late, both bed settled into bed with Thor’s arms wrapped around Loki.

They didn’t speak, at that point they really didn’t need to. They just enjoyed each other’s warmth and the feeling of their heartbeats which eventually lulled them to sleep despite the coffee they’d just consumed.

Loki still wasn’t a good sleeper. He tossed and turned all night and at some point, sat straight up with a scream.

This must have been a regular occurrence though because as he blindly reached out for comfort, his dog moved up from the foot of the bed and snuggled close to Loki’s stomach. Loki petted the dog for a few moments before drifting off to sleep again.

It saddened Thor a little. His Kitten was still plagued with so many demons, but he’d gone and found a good way to chase them off. His dog certainly was doing a good job of taking care of Loki.

Thor loved that dog.

The next morning came bringing with it a sense of unfinished business. When Thor got up, Loki was already in the kitchen making something to eat. Thor could smell the bacon frying on the stove. When he entered the kitchen, Loki was already dressed and the dog was looking cute begging for a piece of bacon.

“Good morning.” Thor made his presence known.

Loki smiled. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah.” Thor slid into a chair. “You?”

“I slept well.” Thor was about to call him on his lie before he responded, “Well, I think I had a nightmare, but I can’t really remember it.”

Thor fought to keep the smile off his face knowing it would look like he was happy Loki had a hard night. Really, he was happy Loki told him the truth.

Thor watched Loki silently as he finished breakfast and made two plates of bacon, eggs and waffles. He placed on in front of Thor and one on the opposite end of the table for himself.

Loki took a seat and bit a piece bacon. “What happens now?”

Thor swallowed the eggs in his mouth before answering. “What do you know about being a slave?”

“I only know what Bruce does with Natasha.” Loki answered. “Those are the only facts I have. Everything else is speculation.”

“Then let’s start with your facts.” Thor encouraged.

Loki took a deep breath. “I know that on a very real level, Bruce doesn’t have a choice in what he does. But then, on another level, there are boundaries that are set.”

“And what do you think about that?” Thor asked. “What do you think about having a list of things you’d never allow but everything else is out of your hands?”

Loki took a moment to think about it as he chewed on his waffles. “I don’t like the idea of being helpless.”

“You’d never be helpless Loki. No matter how extreme we go, I’d stop if you want me to.”

“Ok, but isn’t that more sub and less slave?” Loki pushed his empty plate to the side. Thor couldn’t remember a time when Loki ate such a big portion so fast. “Slaves don’t have safe words.”

It was a legitimate question and one that Thor wouldn’t ignore. Loki had to understand what those two words really meant. “You aren’t a sub just because you follow a certain rule and you aren’t a slave just because you don’t have a safe word. There are many subs who play without safe words. Yes, many slaves don’t have safe words, but there is no mandatory set of rules.”

Loki nodded, seemingly taking a moment to let that sink in. “What do you want?”

“I’m not answering that question Loki.” Thor told him firmly but lovingly.

Loki frowned in response. “Why?”

“Because I don’t trust you to be honest about your own feelings once I give you mine.” It was the truth. Thor knew Loki was doing better, but some things therapy wouldn’t fix and medication, though helpful was not a cure all. Loki’s personality was such that he’d try to conform by default. And that was okay, it’s what made him so attractive to Thor, but it also made him dangerous to play with.

Loki looked angry about it and his face was blank making it difficult to read what he was thinking. He suddenly stood up. “I have to feed Fenrir.”

“You’re deflecting.” Thor called him on it. He had to. He couldn’t let Loki walk away from this table without saying everything that needed to be said. “The dog is asleep. You are trying to get away from the conversation and that is not going to happen. Sit down so we can finish the conversation.”

That rebellious streak was showing itself in its full glory. An arched eyebrow was all Thor got in response.

“Loki sit down in that chair or I’m going to put you in it.” Thor waited five heartbeats as Loki’s jaw set and his feet remained firm on the floor. With a sharp jerk, Thor got himself to his feet and Loki quickly took his seat again.

No it wasn’t in Loki’s nature to do as he’s told but it was in his nature to please and sometimes those two sides of him clashed.

It was a spectacular sight.

Thor moved his chair closer to Loki and took his hands. “We were talking about safe words.”

“Can’t we just have one? Like a slowdown word, just for when things are getting to be too much?” Loki picked up the conversation as if he hadn’t just challenged Thor two seconds ago.

Loki was like that though, always pushing boundaries. But the compromise of the safe words was touching. “You trust me to do more than slow down if you need it?”

Loki nodded. “I think you’re better at seeing my limits.”

Thor smiled. “What else?”

“Bruce kneels down at Natasha’s feet. I won’t do that.” There it was, the first hard limit.

“That’s fine.”

“And I’m not calling you master.” Loki smirked. “Or Sir or any of those other honorifics that the people at the club uses.”

Thor nodded slowly. “That’s doable. But you call me Thor. Not douche bag or jerk face or monster, or any of those other names you call me when you don’t get what you want.”

Loki huffed as if it would be a terribly hard thing to do. “Fine.” Loki took a moment to think before his face became serious. “Thor, I… I wish I was better for you. I wish I was normal for you.”

This would be a recurring problem. There would be no convincing Loki that Thor loved him because of who he was not in spite of it. But he couldn’t brush it off either. “Loki, what your father did to you was cruel and horrific and none of it was your fault. What happened with Sif may not be one hundred percent her fault, but it isn’t even fifty percent your fault. You needed help and she failed you. What you did to me, you did in a moment of desperation and though I understand that, I don’t excuse it. You were wrong, and you have apologized and I have forgiven you. We are moving passed that now.” He placed a kiss on Loki’s lips. “Besides, if you weren’t you, I probably wouldn’t love you.”

Loki smiled but Thor knew his words were only a band aid. They still had a lot more work to do. “So do we draft a contract now?”

“No.” Thor answered. “We are going to try this, right now and see if we are ready for this step.”

“And if I’m not.”

“Then you’re not. And I’ll love you even more for trying. But let’s not anticipate failure. I’m going to go take a shower. You clean up and prep your bedroom for a scene. Lube and whatever toys you’ve gotten should be laid out. Do you understand?”

Loki nodded, looking both apprehensive and ready. Before Thor left the kitchen Loki was already cleaning up.

000

Loki was waiting in the room unsure what he should do. He had done what Thor told him to do and then found himself standing there unsure of what to do.

He was nervous, more so than he ever was with Thor. Even when he first had sex he wasn’t as nervous as he was standing there in the middle of his bedroom. He was realizing as more time passed that he was not in the same place he was before. He didn’t feel that desperation he felt when he last laid with Thor. But he did feel a need to please him and to be what Thor needed to be happy.

Because Loki already knew Thor would make him happy.

The shower turned off and Loki’s heart skipped a beat.

It seemed surreal. When he opened the door and Thor was standing there he felt like he wanted to pinch himself. He had thought about calling Thor so many times. He’d pick up the phone and will his fingers to move, but something in him always stopped him from doing it. He was afraid Thor had moved on and worried that he’d destroy Thor the way he destroyed Sif.

But he was there, in his little apartment. The sanctuary he had built for himself. And Thor had barged in here the same way he did that night when he first claimed him.

The door opened and Loki held his breath as Thor came out completely naked and gorgeous.

Thor’s hair was wet and seemed longer, now brushing his chin. Water droplets fell off the strands onto his chest and Loki suddenly felt like he was in a romance novel and he was the virginal bride who had never seen a naked man before.

Despite the fact that Thor was completely naked and he was completely clothed, when Thor came walking up on him, Loki felt vulnerable. It made Loki instinctively step back until his back hit a wall. Thor’s hands rested on the wall on both sides of Loki’s head and an uncontrollable tremble caused a moan to rip from Loki’s throat.

Thor smiled. “There’s my Kitten. Did you miss me?”

Loki hated that smug smile on the blonde’s face but after that little display he couldn’t deny it. But he could make an annoyed face. That wasn’t against the rules.

Thor pushed off the wall and looked at the toys and lube Loki had pulled out and put on the dresser.

Loki liked lube, that wouldn’t be a surprise but the vibrator was exactly the dimensions of Thor’s cock complete with the slight curve. It was his only toy and he treasured it. There were many nights that Loki though that toy would be the only comfort he’d ever have.

That smug smile widened though and Loki suddenly wanted to snatch the vibrator out of Thor’s hands and hit him with it. “Oh yes you’ve missed me.”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“Take off your clothes Kitten. Let’s see if the real thing can satisfy you more.”

Loki stripped faster than he probably should have considering Thor was being a jerk but he couldn’t help it. It had been a long time since he been with anyone and knowing that it was the one he wanted made him all the more impatient.

Loki laid on the bed on his back as Thor covered his body with his own. He took the lube in the squirt bottle. It was a thick lube that Loki had needed when he first bought the toy. The time away from Thor made him much tighter and getting it in had given him some problems.

Thor didn’t pour any in his hand, instead inserted the tube in his anus and squirted.

It was an odd feeling and made him gasp. It was cold and the lube went spewing out further inside of him than anything he’d ever felt before.

“You’re slow word hasn’t changed.” Thor was telling him as he was pulling Loki’s legs onto his shoulders. “It doesn’t mean I’ll stop a scene and in a lot of cases I won’t stop completely, but I will slow down and check in with you. I’ll help you through whatever you need.” When Thor had finished situating himself he looked down into Loki’s face. “What’s the word you say when he need me to slow down?”

“Yellow.” Loki answered on two seconds before Thor shoved his entire length into him.

The air was pushed out of his lungs in one whoosh and before he could draw another breath, Thor withdrew and slammed back into him with just as much force.

The position made Loki feel as if Thor was reaching places he’d never reached before. He was bent in half and the strain on his body with each thrust sparked an odd feeling in his stomach. He knew Thor was long but he’d never felt in like this. He started breathing harder while trying to brace for harsh thrusts but he couldn’t seem to be able to take it.

Thor had never taken him so brutally and never in his position. He was near immobile and the sudden feeling of helplessness was terrifying.

“Yellow! Yellow! You’re hurting me.” He heard himself saying through panicked breaths. Thor stopped thrusting immediately but left his cock deep in Loki who was trying to push Thor off him. “Pull out Thor, I can’t breathe.”

“Settle down Kitten. You can breathe fine, you’re just choosing not to.” Thor tried to explain.

“Of course I can’t breathe! You have my knees to my ears and you’re fucking me as if you are trying to shove your dick through my ass to my throat.” It was hard to sound pissed in the position he was in but he didn’t care.

“No, I’m fucking you like you are here for my enjoyment.” The words were sobering. His purpose was to please Thor and this pleased Thor. “Put your hands on my shoulders.”

Loki did as he was told though he really wasn’t comfortable with the position.

“Now just breathe.” After a few steadying breaths Thor said, “I’m going to start again. Are you ready?”

Loki nodded.

“All you have to do is breathe.” Thor reared back and thrust in again full force. This time, Loki’s breath didn’t come roaring out his lungs. “Now did that hurt?”

Loki shook his head. It didn’t hurt. It just touched a part of him that had never been touched and it felt weird.

“I’ll never hurt you Loki. I’ll push you. I’m putting strain on your body, but I’m not hurting you.” He thrust in harshly again. He started pistoning his hips in quick hard thrusts.

Loki tried to focus on his breathing and take pleasure in the fact that Thor was enjoying his body. Slowly, the tension started to leave his body and he laid there with the sole purpose of let Thor fuck him. His back muscles smoothed out and his thighs relaxed on Thor’s wide shoulders.

“That’s it.” Thor moaned. “That’s it Kitten, just relax. You feel so good Loki. Your body is so sexy. You turn me on so much. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed being inside of you.”

Thor’s words were forcing Loki to stay in the moment. He could feel every inch of Thor inside of him as he listened to those whispered words. It made him want to please this man even more. This man wanted him, as screwed up as he was. All of the problems Thor has had in his life for almost three years Loki was directly responsible for. The least he could do was let the man pound his cock into his stomach for a little while longer.

Thankfully, a little while was all Thor wanted to do it for.

Thor pulled out suddenly and turned Loki around pulling him up on his hands and knees.

Loki felt wobbly and unsteady but it didn’t matter. Thor was gripping his hip and pushing back in. The pace Thor set was more suited to Loki’s tastes. His prostate was being rubbed with a wonderful accuracy. He groaned a little louder than he meant to and Thor laughed. “Is that better Kitten?”

Another wrecked moan was Loki’s answer.

“I know how my Kitten likes to be petted.”

Loki could feel one of Thor’s hands move up his spine and tangle in his hair before yanking Loki up and grasping his cock.

Loki leaned his head on Thor’s shoulder, the new position kept Loki on his knees but his back against Thor’s chest and long, thick cock was deep in him. The thrusts were reduced to a grinding motion as Thor jerked on Loki’s dick. The pressure on his prostate was sending him hurdling towards orgasm. “Don’t stop.” He was telling Thor. “I’m going to come.”

Thor had a small smile on his face. “Are you?”

Loki felt the first contraction but before he could actually ejaculate, Thor’s hand dropped from his cock and he had pushed Loki forward so that the angle he was penetrated from avoided his prostate.

The end result was an orgasm that was unsatisfying. His dick hadn’t even shot the semen out. Instead it just oozed out a bit.

Loki groaned as his need spiked quickly. He needed to come again and soon.

Thor resumed thrusting, hitting his prostate just as he had before. Loki was barely keeping it together. The ache in his cock was deeper than he’d ever felt before. It felt like it was taking forever to get up to that peak again. It took everything he had not to reach a hand down to grasp himself.

When he felt Thor’s hand start its trail up his back and towards his hair he let out a sob. “Please Thor no. Please let me come.”

The laugh that bubbled out Thor was borderline scary. Loki’s back hit Thor’s chest again and the pleas were hard to stop. “Thor please, please let me come. I’ve never felt anything like this.”

Thor’s hand started the rhythmic pull on Loki’s cock. “You know what’s funny, physically you don’t actually need to orgasm again. Your brain is telling your balls they’re full even though they aren’t.”

Loki groaned.

“All your suffering is your own doing, not mine.” Thor had the nerve to actually sound amused. As if they were discussing a movie or something.

Loki gasped and Thor let his aching cock go right before Loki could enjoy his orgasm. This time his cock bounced with what should have been shots of ejaculate. His stomach contracted even though he only managed to leak out two or three drops.

Thor resumed his thrusts and Loki decided not to even try to fight the sob that escaped him. His cock ached was a fierceness that he didn’t think possible. He was gripping the sheet in his fists but let Thor pound his prostate.

This time, before Thor could reach for his head, he sat up, head lulled on Thor’s shoulder. Thor didn’t even need to touch his cock this time and the satisfied groan that Thor let out was a sign that he was ecstatic with Loki falling into the torture.

“Good boy! You’re so beautiful like this.”

Nothing came out of Loki’s cock this time. His arms could barely hold him up when Thor started the thrusts again. He was openly crying now. His face felt wet, his cock burned and his anus ached. He felt everything else but beautiful.

He wanted this to be over and wanted it to last forever. There was no feeling he could pin down long enough to actually feel it. It just made him cry harder. He felt like a life time full of pent up tears was released even as the rest of his body felt frustrated.

He felt Thor move, covering his body with his own as he continued to thrust into him. He felt Thor’s hand lace in his. “You’re doing good Loki.” He was saying. “Can you take it?”

Loki sobbed but nodded gripping Thor’s hand so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“I’m close Kitten. I’m so close.” He grunted as his hips started thrust wildly. “Yes baby. Oh yes.” With another grunt Thor came in violent twitches.

Loki was happy it was over, even as his cock felt as if he still hadn’t come. The idea of sex was actually repulsive.

His body was like lead when Thor rolled him over. With a shirt from off the floor, Thor wiped Loki’s face free of tears and snot before grabbing him up off the bed. “A cold shower will cure you of your erection.”

Loki moaned something that he wasn’t even sure he understood. He could barely walk the short distance to the bathroom but Thor was a rock. He could feel those strong arms around him helping him along and felt confident Thor could handle the weight.

The shower wasn’t actually cold, more of a lukewarm but it killed the erection quick. Loki was still crying slightly when Thor filled the bath with warm water. The tub was small and Loki had to lay directly on top of him but the closeness felt good.

Loki’s head lulled to the side, his body relaxing into the water. “Did I please you?”

“Very much so.” Thor was quick to respond.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

“Why did you punish me then?” Loki asked. “Why didn’t you let me enjoy our first time together?”

“That wasn’t punishment Loki. You wanted to know what I liked. You asked me to claim you. No one can get me off the way you do. Your suffering, your pleasure is all mine if you are my slave. And this wasn’t our first time. Last night I gave you love. I held you and told you everything I felt about you. Today I claimed your body.”

Loki sighed, his muscles relaxing further. “Why did you want me to suffer?”

Thor placed a kiss on Loki’s temple. “I enjoy it. Did you?”

Loki felt raw. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to tell Thor what he deserved to hear. But he couldn’t lie to him. Not anymore. “I don’t know.”

Thor’s arms tightened around Loki. “Good boy. You won’t know if you liked it for a little while longer.”

“Does it always have to be so rough? Does that mean you can’t just make love to me?”

“Loki I want you to listen to me now alright? I can take you rough, I can punish you, you can misbehave every moment of every day and safe word out of every scene and I will always love you. I want you to understand this. A master and slave relationship is based on trust and love makes your role more meaningful to me. As far as me making love to you, it’s your job to please me but it’s my job to give you everything you need and you need love more than most. A happy slave will yield a happy master.”

Loki looked up at his ceiling feeling like not only had Thor fucked his arse raw, he also just fucked his mind with that little speech. “Thor, I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”

Thor laughed. “Then say nothing. It’s the slave’s place to please a master in a scene and it’s a master’s place to care for you after.”

“I’ve never had that.” Loki said. “Someone to take care of me.” He couldn’t see Thor’s face and if he had, he would have seen how much those words affected him. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

He felt Thor sigh. “You just let it happen.”

Loki sighed. He wasn’t strong enough to fight it but even if he was, he wouldn’t have.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooo I started a job and had midterms all in the same week so I'm sorry for the long delay.
> 
> As always, I want to know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going well for Thor and Loki but there is still a lot of work to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta! There are mistakes I'm sure of it.

Nothing about this seemed like a good idea to Thor. Sure things had gotten better. Loki was still neurotic and that would never change but he was much more calm and accepting of his own faults. This idea, however, seemed as if it would set all his progress back and destroy the life Thor was enjoying living.

He felt like they both deserved the happiness they had. It was a struggle every step of the way to get to this point and he just wanted to enjoy what they had accomplished thus far.

They moved slow, taking everything one day at a time. They made no rash decisions and talked everything thoroughly before they took even one step in either direction. Months passed before they signed a contract and even then, the contract they signed wasn’t a standard slave contract. There was still a slowdown word and no honorifics would be used regardless of what other slaves were doing at the club. Loki wouldn’t kneel before him and when Thor would push Loki’s limits they would talk about it and Loki would have say in what happened to his body.

Because enough people had used him for their pleasure alone.

At first, Loki fought against Thor’s authority, which was expected by everyone. Loki’s first instinct was to break a rule once it was placed. Punishments were plentiful in the beginning but so were the compliments when Loki did follow a rule, even if it was with hesitation. A slave should never hesitate, but Thor couldn’t expect Loki to just trust him so fully. So even with the hesitation, Thor was proud of him.

They bought a house together and even in that there were issues that came up. Loki’s fear of losing Thor caused some of his old behaviors to resurface. The phone calls and constant text messages were tiring and Loki’s need for reassurance caused him to act out for attention. But once Thor was able to redirect that energy into something positive they were able to settle into a routine that both were comfortable with.

But when those anxieties arose, Loki was to do something with his dog, or call one of The Avenger’s group. This spaced out the calls and took some of the weight off Thor. It didn’t mean that Thor didn’t like the attention Loki was freely giving him. On the contrary. In trying to reassure himself in Thor he succeeding in reassuring Thor about Loki’s feelings. But it was unhealthy to be so transfixed on one thing.

The Avenger’s group were happy to bring Loki back into the fold. They helped reassure him when he called and Loki often reached out when he needed to get out of his own head. He attended their parties and went out to dinner with the other subs at least once a week.

Thor was happy, content and fulfilled.

He thought Loki was as well.

And then yesterday, Loki had come home from work, kissed Thor’s lips and said, “I want to do a scene at the club.”

Thor looked at Loki unsure if he heard right. A scene at the club implied that it would be public and there was no way that was what Loki wanted. “In a private room I assume.”

Loki pulled away from Thor and pulled a chair out to sit down. “You are assuming wrong.”

Thor regarded his lover with careful eyes. Loki was good at reading people and he didn’t want Loki to see the confusion in his face and mistake it for something else. “What scene did you have in mind?”

“The Master’s Touch.” Loki answered quickly and confidently.

Thor’s blue eyes bulged out his head. Everything in him rejected the idea. “Absolutely not.” Thor’s answer was just as confident. He would not subject Loki to that. No one passed that test as it was impossible to tell which hands were his master’s. It would destroy Loki.

Loki frowned. “Why is it not open to discussion? Everything has been open to discussion.”

“It’s my job to protect you Loki. This would not help you at all. “ Thor was sure it would do the exact opposite. “You are not going to like being tied down and having people touch you while you’re blind folded.”

“It could be people I know.” Came Loki’s answer. “I’m sure Steve and Clint would do it. We could ask Pepper and Nat if Tony and Bruce can do it.”

Thor’s eyes narrowed. It was obvious Loki had thought about this for a while. “You’re serious?”

“Very.” Loki responded peering up at Thor from his seat.

Thor sighed and pulled a chair up next to him. This wasn’t something Thor would brush off. If Loki wanted to do this there had to be a reason. “No one passes this test Loki.”

“That’s the point.” Loki answered. “That’s exactly the point.”

“To fail?” Thor asked wanting to understand exactly what Loki was after. “Why would you want to fail?”

“To prove to myself that I can fail and the world won’t end. And that… well… you’d still love me.”

Thor frowned. He thought Loki had already knew that. He told Loki often that he loved him and that he wouldn’t want anyone else but him. It bothered him to know that Loki still had his doubts that their union was permanent. “Kitten, I’ll love you no matter what.”

Loki smiled a little, turning one side if his lips up. “Yeah I know you keep saying that, but I need to see it. I need to live it.”

Thor tried to hide the frown but he wasn’t sure how successful he was at it. Did he not show his love to Loki daily? Did Loki wake up and go to sleep every night doubting what he had with Thor while Thor laid next to him sure of his position in Loki’s heart?

Thor had no doubts he would still love Loki if he failed, but he doubted that Loki would forgive himself for failing. He was worried that all this would do was solidify those doubts and destroy what they had built. “Loki…”

“Thor, I need this.” Loki said not allowing Thor to finish his thought. “I need to get over my fear that any wrong move I make will destroy this dream I think I’m in.”

Thor wouldn’t understand, not even if he asked a thousand questions. He realized that this wasn’t all about solidifying their relationship, it was also about making Loki believe that what Thor was saying was truth. Thor could say the words a thousand times but if Loki didn’t actually believe it, then the problem lied with Loki not with Thor.

 But in the end, he didn’t need to understand, he needed Loki to feel secure. It was his job to give Loki what he needed and if he said no to this, what would Loki do to gain the security he needed to feel? At least this way, he could monitor Loki and guide him to through this with this in a safe environment.

But he still had reservations and he couldn’t start preparing Loki for this if he wasn’t behind it one hundred percent. He gave Loki no definitive answer. “I’ll think this over Loki, and we will discuss this again.”

Loki sighed in a way that Thor was coming to be used to. It was a sigh that said Loki was both relieved and worried. Only Loki could feel opposite feelings at the same time but he did often, Thor realized. He couldn’t imagine such complicated feelings. Everything for him was almost always black or white.

Loki was perpetually a gray area

A day had passed since their discussion that Thor resolved in himself that he couldn’t come up with a decision on his own. He was too involved in the situation to look at it with unbiased eyes. So when Saturday rolled around, Thor had left Loki playing on the floor with Fenrir and took the short drive to his Natasha’s house.

Nat welcomed him to the kitchen and offered him a beer before sitting with him at the kitchen table. “Spill.”

Thor wasn’t sure where to end begin so he blurted out the heart of the problem. “Loki wants to do the Master’s Touch at the club.”

Nat grimaced. “How did he responded when you told him no?”

Thor sighed. A part of him did want to say no. The part of him that wanted to keep Loki safe. But then the other part of him said to agree with the request. After all whether he was Loki’s do or boyfriend, it was his duty to make Loki happy. “I didn’t say no.”

“Are you stupid?” The question came with a look that was a mix of outrage and confusion.

The answer came so fast he had to laugh in response. “No, I’m a dom.”

Natasha rearranged herself in her seat which was a sign that she was about to go in on Thor. “You have to know setting up Loki to fail is not a good idea.”

“I do know that.” It was true, he did. “But Loki’s argument is very valid.”

Now she leaned back in the chair, a sign that she was willing to listen. “And what argument is that?”

“That he wants to fail to be sure that he can.” It might not have been Loki’s exact words but that was certainly what he took from it.

“That doesn’t sound valid.” She shook her head and took a long swig of her beer.

“Because we aren’t Loki Natasha. I’ve made a bunch of mistakes in my life and no one has ever stopped loving me because of it. That isn’t the case with Loki. Well, at least it wasn’t. Now he wants to make sure that I won’t stop loving just because he isn’t perfect.”

“I get that but this is deeper than that Thor. Loki is an abuse survivor and we are talking about tying him down in front of a lot of people, blind folding him and letting strangers touch him all over. This says trigger all over it.”

“That’s why I said.” And thought. And fought with.

“And what did he say to that?”

Thor licked his lips, his throat feeling dry despite the finishing his bottle in four gulps. “It wouldn’t be strangers.”

“It wouldn’t?” A red brow arched. “Who would it be?”

“Steve, Bruce, Clint.”

“He’s thought about this.” She sounded as surprised as Thor felt about it.

“Yes. He has and he wants it.” No, not wanted, needed.

“Ok.” Natasha nodded and Thor knew she was processing the information and analyzing it.  “So his mind is made up, what are you struggling with?”

“The after part. There is a ninety percent chance that he’ll fail and Loki doesn’t take failure well. And he won’t tell me how he feels about things until it’s like a week later. And then…”

“Wait, wait, ninety percent chance? You think he has a ten percent chance? You think he has a ten percent chance of passing?”

Thor looked at her for a moment trying to figure out what was wrong with his statement. He couldn’t draw a conclusion. “You say that as is if it’s odd.”

“No one passes.” She reminded him.

“I’ll still prep him.” He answered.

“But he’s expecting to fail.”

“Yes.” Thor nodded.

“So why are you prepping him?”

“Because the failure isn’t set in stone.” Thor replied. “He could pass. Everyone who takes the test could pass. And it isn’t failing the test that he’s after but failing me. I have to have some expectation in order for him to fail me.”

Natasha sat back and thought on that for a while. He knew on one level it made sense but he also knew on another it was an extremely risky move. “I’m glad I’m not in your position.”

“But what would you do if you were?”

“If Bruce came to me and told me he needed this I would do it. But I would prep the hell out of him Thor. He’d know that at no part of this test, especially when it was over, that he’d be alone.” She replied. “Loki needs this yes, but you also have to be prepared for that failure. You have to be prepared to guide him through. It will be taxing on you to see him struggle.

Thor nodded understanding where she was coming from. Everyone always focused on the subs and what they needed that at times it was easy to forget about the doms. They had fears as well and as much as Loki needed to be prepped, Thor needed to prepare as well. Because if Loki broke down, it would his job to pick up the pieces.

So Thor set to work. They made a reservation at the club for two months out, far enough out that Thor felt Loki could be ready but close enough that Loki wouldn’t worry himself for long.

They started simply. Thor would tie Loki’s hands throughout the day causing Loki to be reliant on Thor to do simple tasks. It forced Loki to communicate his needs outside of the bedroom but when his hands were tied during their scenes, it was for a different reason. It was for Loki to trust that Thor would not take advantage of him and would heed Loki’s requests to stop if he needed it.

Trust was fundamental in a test like this.

Then Thor moved on to blind folds forcing Loki to be led around the house during the day. He had to rely on his other senses to tell where Thor was or where to sit. Thor led him around the house by touch, making him more sensitive to him.

The first time they made love that way, Loki couldn’t make it through a whole session and that in itself felt like a failure. But in this, Thor had to trust that Loki would tell him when things went too far and had to trust that Loki didn’t beat himself up about it when he didn’t succeed.

It was a learning experience for both of them.

But soon, they conquered that together and Loki was able to stay put while Thor kissed him, touched him and loved on him, even if was just for a little while.

But more than both of those tests, the one that gave Loki the most trouble was taking away his hearing.

The noise cancelling headphones cost Thor a pretty penny but it was worth it. He had wanted to simulate the test in every way and make sure that even if Loki didn’t pass, that he’d be comfortable enough and feel safe enough.

The moment they went over his ears, Loki’s anxiety would ramp up. Whether he was alone or with Thor his fear was instant.

“I think maybe you were right.” Loki told him after the fourth time they tried to use the headphones. “I think we should cancel the test.”

Thor had wanted that. He wanted to push this whole thing behind them. But that wasn’t want Loki wanted, even though he claimed so. No, this was his fear talking. This was him asking Thor to give him confidence and the push he needed to go through with it. “Why?”

“I can’t get passed this.” Loki had said fiddling with his own fingers as he sat on the couch next to Thor. “I can’t do this.

“You can.” Thor reassured. “We just have to figure out why this is so hard for you. You’ve come a long way to just stop now.”

“I thought you wanted to stop.” Loki regarding Thor curiously. “I thought you thought it was a bad idea.”

Thor had to be very careful here. His words could either make Loki or break him. Loki needed to please and pacify and this was the first time he ever fought that urge and pursue something that he wanted. Loki knew Thor was unsettled by this and yet he pushed pass that in an effort to obtain something that was solely for his benefit.

“Loki I want what you want and that’s for you to feel comfortable and secure in our relationship. A month and a half ago you were sure you needed it.”

“I still need it.” Loki answered. “I’m just not sure I can do it.”

Thor licked his lips and wrapped an arm around his waist pulling him closer. “This was never about succeeding but about conquering a fear. We have a few more weeks and if we don’t feel you’re ready, then we’ll postpone it until you are. It’s just that simple.”

“You always make things sound simple.”

“You always complicate them.” Thor smile softly. “Tell me Kitten, did your father ever deprive you of your hearing?”

Talking about his father was always rough, Thor knew, but most of his problems traced back to his childhood so it was something that had to be addressed even if they were both uncomfortable doing so. Loki was always brutal in his honesty about his past and some of the details kept Thor up at night wondering how someone could be co cruel to a child, but he listened to the stories and comforted Loki when allowed. Still, Thor knew Loki was still ashamed of his past.

“No. If anything it was the only thing I could rely on.” Loki looked distant for a moment as if remembering the times his ears were his way out. “I would hear him coming and when he… did what he did… I would close my eyes and focus on the leaky faucets drip or the hum of the refrigerator. It took me away from what was happening.”

Thor gave a sad smile. He was proud of Loki’s survival through what sounded like the most horrific times of his life. But he was devastated that he had to live through them. “Well that’s it then isn’t it? It’s the one defense you have left.”

Loki sighed, now looking away and breaking the intimate connection the confession had made. “I suppose.”

“But you don’t have to go anywhere with me Kitten.” There were times Thor wished things were easier for Loki to accept, but then he worried that taking those elements of Loki’s personality away would change the core of the man he loved. “I won’t ever hurt you.”

Loki looked back at him and tilted his head to the side as if studying Thor’s face and then a slow smile tugged the corners of his lips. “Unless you’re spanking me.”

Thor smiled. “That’s not the pain I’m referring to.”

Loki snorted but the amusement left his eyes as he grew serious again. “I know you won’t hurt me Thor, but it doesn’t stop me from…”

Thor waited for Loki to figure out what he wanted to say but when it became apparent that the sentence might not be finished, Thor offered a suggestion. “Being afraid?”

Loki didn’t answer for a moment and Thor wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to admit his fear or if Thor was off base with his suggestion. But then Loki sighed. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

One thing that has been becoming more and more apparent is that Loki didn’t really believe he could do anything other than breathe. It was a sign of man used to failure. “I know you can. “ Thor assured. “I know you Loki and you’re the strongest person I know. You can do this. You will do this.”

Loki licked his lips and nodded but Thor was sure his words were falling on deaf ears.

000

Loki laid there on the bed he and Thor shared trying to control his breathing as Thor started taking out the things he needed for the scene. Thor said he wouldn’t tie him up and he wouldn’t blind fold him but still his nerves were getting to him.

Thor told him he could do it, he told him he could do it but told him he had better use his slow word when needed. Loki said he would, he believed he would but even with this way out, he wasn’t sure he could do it.

Thor’s opinion of him was much higher than his own opinion.

He wanted to do this and get over this fear of failing and abandonment but it seemed as if he would be cursed with it for the remainder of his.

He hadn’t reached his decision to do the Master’s Touch lightly. When he first saw the test he was intrigued by the idea of subs needing to fail. It was something he couldn’t quite understand. But then everything with Sif happened and he realized Thor’s words weren’t enough to calm his fears failing. Thor showed every day that he loved him and wanted him. But Thor was found of Loki’s particular brand of mischief and found his wrong doings adorable. That is worlds away from being inadequate.

Loki had debated within in himself if he could do the test before he brought it up to Thor. A small part of him wondered if Thor would actually leave him after the test. He knew it was ridiculous but then at the same time he knew anything was possible.

The idea of being tied down wasn’t too bad. Thor restrained him all the time. The idea of all those hands on him in such a public arena gave Loki some pause, but he believed in Thor and his friends knowing they wouldn’t hurt him or met anyone else hurt him either.

His real feel though, was the after test period. He was going to fail, he expected that and yet he knew he would horrible about it. It had been a long time since he had expected pain or humiliation. Not since his childhood did he know unhappiness waited for him. Now, he was doing it again, only this time willingly.

Loki watched as Thor finished preparing the scene grateful that Thor was so willing to do this when he was so against it. He knew Thor didn’t want him to do it, he wanted Loki to just know and trust in his undying love. The problem was he didn’t.

 “Are you ready?” Thor turned to him fully, eyes warm and smile wide.

“Yes.” Loki answered while shaking his head no.

Thor smirked before leaning down to kiss him, a comforting hand on his chest. “You can do this.” Thor told him. “I know you can.”

Loki didn’t feel anywhere near as confident as Thor sounded. “Can I? You seem so sure.”

“You’ve done everything else.” Thor reminded him. “You’ve been tied up, you’ve been blindfolded, and you’ve been gagged. There is no reason why you can’t do this.”

Loki blinked. “The odds are stacking up against me.”

Thor narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like self-deprecation.” No, no he didn’t. The punishments for doing so were more severe than anything often including orgasm denial until he complimented along with writing lines and lectures that made his ears want to bleed.

“So you tell me.”

Thor sighed seeming to enjoy the sight of Loki laying naked on the bed. “You are so beautiful.”

Loki smirked again. “So you tell me.”

Thor smiled but Loki could see him getting into his head space. As sweet as Thor was, he was also demanding and that somehow calmed the chaos in his head.  “Now, hush. You are not to speak again.”

The tone caused a shiver to pass through his body.  He was only to think about what Thor wanted and at that moment, Thor had wanted him to lay there in silence, so that was what he was going to do. But as Thor picked up the noise cancelling head phones, Loki couldn’t help but start to feel some apprehension.

“Kitten, relax.”

The order annoyed Loki for some reason. It was so easy for Thor to just tell him to relax. Thor didn’t have irrational thoughts.

Loki went to open his mouth to say something sarcastic but closed it when Thor arched a blonde brow, Loki closed his mouth and gave a guilty smile. He wisely decided to keep his sarcastic remark to himself.

Thor gave his own smirk in response but he seemed pleased that Loki controlled his impulse to insult. “All you have to do is relax and let me lead you. It’s no different than any time before this.”

Loki nodded his understanding but as Thor picked up the headphones he could feel a cold sweat break over his forehead and his breathing sped up again.

There was no fanfare, or long speeches, the headphones were slipped on and just like that Loki was in silence.

Thor leaned down and pressed his lips to Loki’s. The kiss was soft but firm and Loki could feel him pressing against him. Loki could feel Thor’s weight settling over him bring both a feeling of comfort and excitement. Despite his apprehension, Loki started to get aroused underneath him.

Thor, it seemed, was aroused by it as well. Loki could feel Thor’s cock thicken in his jeans. He arched his naked body up into Thor’s clothed one as Thor deepened his kiss. For a brief moment, Loki thought he could handle it. It had seemed that he had built up his fears unnecessarily.

But then Thor moved away, off the bed and somewhere out of his sight. He was trained better than to turn to find him. He was given no order to move and so he willed his body to stay still, even though each second that passed by brought a new level of dread.

He counted the seconds, sixty in total, and was relieved when Thor returned to the bed.

All fears vanished when he realized Thor had removed his shirt. His muscles bulging in all the areas that made Loki’s mouth water and his brain stop working.

Thor took his place back on top of Loki kissing down his neck and on to his chest. The light pecks causing goose pimples to rise and small shivers to shake his body.

Loki closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Thor’s attention as he often did. Thor’s mouth quickly latched on to a nipple and Loki groaned though he couldn’t actually hear it.

Loki’s cock started twitching again Thor’s jean covered thigh and slowly rocking his hips against him.

All too soon Thor removed himself from Loki and sauntered out of view again.

Loki frowned trying to understand why Thor stopped again and tried to control his urge to turn around to find him. But the seconds moved by and Thor hadn’t returned. Again he counted to sixty, but this time Thor return. He tried to count longer but by seventy, panic was setting in.

Loki knew it was irrational. It was stupid to be afraid of laying in silence when he knew Thor was probably only by the door of the bedroom. Nevertheless, his couldn’t take it anymore and against his own better judgement, he turned his head to find him only to have a very disappointed looking Thor shaking his head in admonishment.

Loki frowned realizing he had disappointed Thor and soon the man had disappeared from his line of sight again. This time there was no kissing or touching before he went away. It was then that Loki realized what Thor was doing. Every time Thor went out of site, he was going to be away for a longer period of time and every time Loki managed to control his fears he was rewarded with Thor’s attention.

Loki fidgeted knowing there was no way he’d try to catch sight of Thor again. He tried to relax himself, tried to hold on to Thor’s last words and focus on following Thor’s rule but he could feel himself losing it. He counted again, this time by ninety, Thor returned.

 He took his spot on top of Loki, this time kissing down his torso taking little nips as he moved further down. Thor’s long absence and Loki’s fear had quenched some of his desire, his erection fading. But when Thor stop his kisses by Loki’s dark patch of pubic hair Loki could feel his cock swell up again.

Thor was looking up at him grasping Loki’s length in one had before swallowing Loki’s erection whole.

Loki arched feeling a moan bubble from his throat. Thor’s mouth was hot and the pressure was intense. Instinctually, Loki tried to open his legs to give Thor access to his anus but Thor made no move to touch him there.

Being on speech restriction meant he had to get his point across without words. He arched and twisted with frustrated moans until Thor let his erection fall from his lips. Thor smiled and shook his head no.

Though it was a denial, something in Loki’s mind clicked. Thor “heard him” despite the fact that Loki had said nothing. Thor knew what he wanted, knew what he felt just by the way Loki moved. That meant during his upcoming scene at the club, even though he wouldn’t have been able to communicate, Thor would know what he wanted.

It was comforting.

That didn’t matter right then though because Loki was still in need and Thor was getting off him again and disappearing from his sight.

This was torture and not because it was happening in silence. He suddenly wished he was tied down because his hand twitched to grab hold of himself and stroke until completion. It took a while to get a grip of himself and once he did, he remembered that he was supposed to be battling his fear of silence and not his need to orgasm.

Before he could dwell on it though, or even start counting again, Thor returned completely naked and Loki forgot all about the headphones.

Thor spread Loki thighs and dipped his head down to place a kiss on Loki’s opening. Loki sighed, his cock throbbed and then Thor pushed his tongue in. It felt oddly erotic now having his hearing gone. It was as if all of the nerves in his body was more sensitive. He could feel precum forming at his tip as Thor continued to lick and slurp at Loki’s hole.

This was good. This was what he wanted. He could feel Thor’s tongue wiggling into his body and all he could think about was how good it would feel to cum right then. He could feel his muscles clench around Thor trying to keep him in place but all too soon, Thor was moving away looking amused at Loki’s attempts to keep him there with his thighs.

This time though, Loki knew exactly what to do to get him to return quicker. He stayed perfectly still and waited. There was no doubt in him that Thor would return. He didn’t need his hearing to know that because he knew Thor was returning and when he did, it would be better than when he left.

Loki closed his eyes, kept his body completely still and just waited. He could still feel his heart beating hard against his chest and his cock pulsed in need but he was content. He was where he was supposed to be. He was where Thor wanted him.

The sudden feeling of the bed dipping startled him. His shot open but he stayed otherwise still. Thor was smiling, spreading his thighs and settling between them. Loki could feel Thor’s erection between his legs was already slick with lube. There was no preparation. Thor slipped inside him with little resistance and Loki arched back to let him in.

The feeling of Thor inside him consumed him. Nothing else mattered. Everything else fell away and pleasure took its place.

He could feel the vibration of Thor’s moans through his chest. He could almost hear his praise, “You feel so good Kitten.” He would say. “You’re so tight. So perfect. Cum for me Kitten.”

Loki groaned at the voice in his head as Thor slid his cock over his prostate.

“Come on Kitten.” The voice in Loki’s head said. “Can you come for me? Tell me how good you feel.”

He willed himself to listen to the words Thor’s body was saying. This was his master, this was who he was to obey in everything. He was Thor’s slave and he alone was the center of his world.

He groaned as the first shot of cum came out. His body seized and shook with the force of it. It felt like it would never end, his pleasure prolonged by Thor’s rapid thrusts over his prostate.

He could feel Thor unloading inside of him, vibrations of Thor’s moans could be felt on Loki’s used body. Thor collapsed on top of his, his breathing just as erratic as Loki’s.

Loki dozed for a moment, his body feeling content. It wasn’t until he felt the headphones being removed that his opened his eyes again.

Thor was smiling down at him looking just as content and Loki felt.  “You did it.”

Loki huffed. “I didn’t really do anything. You did all the hard work.” He didn’t feel like he actually did anything. He just responded and reacted. It was Thor who came up with the plan, it was Thor that put it into action.

“No Loki, you did all the work. I only made you come.” Thor assured him. “You were the one who gained control of yourself. You were the one that laid there and took what I gave you without safewording even though you were afraid. You did all that Loki.”

Loki thought about that for a moment, thinking back to the scene that just played out. He hadn’t ever thought about safewording despite the fact that there were times that the panic was intense. Suddenly he realized he had done a great deal work and had put forth all his effort into succeeding.

 “Yeah,” Loki started. “I’m the best.”

Thor laughed but snuggled him closer. “Yeah you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost done folks. Only one or two more chapters left!
> 
> Tell me what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the test is here and nothing goes as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. I reread it but there are mistakes.

It wasn’t that Sif was jealous, of course she wasn’t. She had the life she wanted with Fandral and she was happy, but the idea of Loki doing not only a scene but one of the hardest ones the club had to offer intrigued her.

She had heard he and Thor broke up. That didn’t surprise her. She knew once Thor knew what Loki was capable of, he’d leave. She had waited to see what new sub Thor would take but as time passed, it seemed he lost all interest in topping. She felt a little bad but it made her oddly satisfied as well.

But then all of a sudden, Loki started coming to the club again. At first it was just for lunches with Darcy and some of the other friends of Thor. And then he was coming at night wearing a collar. It was generic, something a dom would give a sub temporarily. Sif had asked around and to see if anyone has laid claim, but no one seemed to know anything.

Not that she particularly cared. She was surprised to see him there and collard. Then, she was there one day watching Thor making constant kissy faces at Loki and it was then that she noticed how good Loki looked. He was thicker, his pale skin not as pale though he was still shades lighter than Thor.

And he was wearing a collar. A real collar. Not the stupid bracelet with the key on it. This was a thick, red leather collar. And the more discrete one that Loki wore when he just stopped by for a bite to eat was a fourteen a karat gold necklace.

And the gossip around the club was that Loki was no sub but a slave.

A slave? That seemed so unlike something Loki would want and yet she was sitting at the bar, watching as other subs worked to ready the stage for the show. There were three scenes being performed and Loki’s scene was the first to go up.

It was surreal really. If anything, they should both thank her because if it wasn’t for her, they’d not have gotten together.

It didn’t matter though. She expected that Loki would back out again. She expected that he’d safe word and the scene that should have been would be looked over as the other two real subs/slaves would perform their scenes. But right on schedule, the curtains closed.

She surveyed the room. Natasha, Pepper, Jane and Darcy were all sitting at a table, their significant other’s suspiciously missing. No one, but the table of Thor’s friends, seemed very interested in the scene. After all, everyone lost this test and it was almost always the opening scene because it gave patrons the time to grab a drink and chair for the other more interesting scenes to come on.

When the curtain rose, she was surprised to see Loki chained to a bench, shirtless and sockless but with a beautiful pair of black leather pants hugging his hips. He was blindfolded and rendered deaf by noise canceling headphones.

The partners of the ladies sitting at the table were on stage and they started to touch Loki in only the places not covered by clothes. She could see Loki struggling to breath and though she couldn’t see his eyes, she knew underneath the blind fold was a look of intense fear.

He’d safeword. She knew he would.

The minutes clicked by and the miserable whimpers leaving Loki’s mouth was starting to draw attention of other doms in the club. His fear and dislike of this test was evident in the way he squirmed and shuddered and jumped every time a new area of his body was touched. She was sure that the tortured look was appealing to doms.

Much quicker than he probably should have come out, Thor came out a look of concern threaded through his thick blonde eyebrows. He took the short walk to the center of the stage intently watching as Loki’s breathing quickened and his pitiful whimpers were getting more frequent.

Neither one of them was enjoying this so the point was lost on her really. Why would either of them want to do this was beyond her.

Then all of a sudden, Loki seemed to calm down completely. His muscles visibly relaxed, his breathing slowed and the whimpers stopped. It seemed the closer Thor got to him, the more relaxed he came.

But that was ridiculous, because Loki couldn’t have known Thor had walked on stage.

It started in his toes. As Thor stood at the end of the bench, Loki’s feet pointed towards him and when he took a few more steps towards Loki’s head and his knees tried to raise in their chains as if trying to reach for Thor’s as he walked.

It was attracting more attention from the patrons as it appeared like Loki knew exactly where Thor was standing and his body arched to meet him. When Thor raised a hand over Loki’s stomach and Loki’s back arched off the table there wasn’t a pair of eyes that wasn’t glued to the scene.

It seemed to surprise Thor’s friends as well because all their hands left Loki’s body and stared at Thor who only had eyes for the man tied to the bench. Thor moved his hand closer to Loki’s chest, still only hovering over his pale skin and Loki’s body arched followed Thor’s movements.

Thor paused for a moment and Loki’s body remained arched in the awkward position. His hand wandered back down the air right above Loki’s stomach and again, Loki arched to the movements.

Gasps could be heard in the audience as Sif’s thighs became suddenly moist. This was about the hottest thing she’d seen in a long time. If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn’t have believed it. And the swell in Thor’s jeans told her he was enjoying as well.

Suddenly, Loki raised his head and turned it to Thor. “Please.” She could hear him say. “Touch me.”

Now it was Thor would started to breath heavier his face a mixture of arousal and disbelief. Loki’s face was turned right to him as if the blind fold was not there. He was trembling as if he was cold and it looked like his entire body was straining.

Slowly, Thor lowered his index finger and with the slighter touch, Loki arched with a deep groan and the audience was treated to the sight of Loki orgasming as Loki moaned Thor’s name. And Thor groaned at the sight of his slave, that was so uncomfortable being touched by people he knew, cumming in front an audience so wantonly.

A stunned silence blanketed the room as the curtains closed.

000

Loki was nervous when the entered the club but he didn’t think to safeword his way out. He was determined to do this and he had been through a lot to get to that point.

Thor had put a lot of effort in to preparing Loki for this night as well. It was endearing because Loki knew Thor didn’t want to do this. And he understood Thor’s position on the matter.

Loki was still a mess. He still had therapy weekly, was on three medications, psychiatry appointments were monthly and retail therapy with Darcy was necessary biweekly. Despite all that, Loki still wasn’t what anyone would consider normal.

He worried constantly about Fenrir being alone during the day. He worried about pleasing Thor and sometimes, on really bad days, he worried about losing Thor.

There was now, however, a rational voice in Loki’s head that told him that Fenrir really wasn’t suffering just because they left the house and Thor was happy every evening when he came home. He knew Thor loved him and he loved Thor but his anxieties were constantly getting in the way of his happiness and he saw how Thor suffered with watching him go through it.

But Loki really believed this would help ease those anxieties.

When the day of the scene came, Loki was so nervous he could barely eat. Thor had dressed him in black leather pants, a white button down shirt and his black hair was loose and framing his face. Thor had put a thick red collar around his neck, his blue eyes fierce as he looked at him.

“Red is my color and the whole club knows that.” Thor had said when he locked the collar in place. “No matter what happens, I will be proud that you are wearing my color.”

Once the collar was on, Thor had worked on getting Loki into the right head space. Just the idea that Thor knew he wouldn’t complete the test but was giving him every tool to succeed was enough to make Loki want to serve him. He wanted to make Thor proud.

Even in his failures.

Once in the club, Loki silently followed Thor down to the private rooms. He had only one objective and that was doing right by his master. He wasn’t there to socialize, he wasn’t there to hang out or eat French fries. His only goal was this getting through this test.

Thor looked just as nervous as he felt.

“Take off your shirt kitten.”

Loki nodded, his hands starting to shake as he fought with the buttons. The simple act of removing the cloth from his shoulders made him feel as if he was standing completely naked in front of Thor. When his eyes finally met Thor’s again, he could see the immense pride shining through Thor’s own apprehension.

“Listen to me Loki.” Thor had said. “I want you to understand something. You are my slave. You are my reason. You are mine. There is no failure tonight. It simply doesn’t exist.”

Loki quivered slightly.

Thor nodded seeming to be satisfied with Loki’s response. “What are my rules?”

Loki swallowed and took a breath. “Talk to no one, not a master or a slave. No one but you are allowed to touch me except for those in the scene with us.”

Again Thor nodded. “What are my rules?”

“My focus is only to be on you. Your will is mine.”

Thor smiled. “Only tonight that isn’t true is it?”

Loki frowned in response.

“It is not my will that has brought us here but yours.”

Loki hadn’t seen it that way but of course Thor was right. It wasn’t his master’s desire that they do this test. It was his own.

Thor stepped into Loki’s space, so close he could feel his warm breath. “So tonight, your will is my will. Tonight, you remember why you wanted to come here and it wasn’t for my benefit but for the benefit of our relationship. I know I’ll love you the same tomorrow as I do right now. This is for you, and I am submitting to your will. As you lay there, think about how I am here to give you what you need. There is no reason to worry about failing because there is no real test tonight.”

Loki could feel his eyes water as his heart beat sped up. He didn’t bother to wipe the tear away though.

Thor did wipe the tear away and stoked his hair behind his ear. “Tonight is all about you Loki. My beautiful Kitten. Are you ready?”

Loki nodded not trusting his voice.

Thor kissed him deep them and long and Loki fell into it. His cock hardened and when Thor pulled away, Loki whimpered.

Thor smiled at the sound. “Good boy.”

And then he was on stage and every fiber in his being shook in fear.

He was safe, he knew this on a very real level. Thor was there and so were his friends and none of them would let anything happen to him. But lost in the silence and darkness all Loki could think about was his helplessness of his situation.

Still, as his friends stroked his hair, chest, stomach and feet he tried to take it as a comfort, not as an attack. These weren’t the hands of his father or his father’s friends. He willed himself to stay strong and not to safeword. He told himself that soon all of this would be over and soon he’d be safe in Thor’s arms and Thor would make everything alright again.

And Loki would know he could fail and be imperfect but still be loved.

But then something came over him. It was a calm, as if suddenly he realized he had nothing to fear not even in himself failing. He could feel himself calming, his heart beat slowing and then came that overwhelming comfort, a comfort he only felt with Thor and he knew Thor was on stage with him.

His body became flushed as if he a fever. For a moment he thought he actually smelled his lover but he could be sure. He couldn’t be sure of anything, but at the touch of a finger, he felt himself come a part.

Relief washed over him in waves. He knew the odds were he failed but he was happy it was over. He was exhausted in every way a person could be exhausted. He wanted a hot shower and to get out of his sticky jeans. He wanted to see Thor’s face and reassure himself that he had pleased his Master.

He could feel the bench being moved, probably out of the way of the next scene being prepared. The noise canceling head phones were removed from his ears and he quickly called out, “Thor!”

“Get out!” Loki heard his master scream out to the subs that were working around them.

Loki’s heart skipped a beat at the rough sound of Thor’s voce. He must have done something wrong to make Thor sound like that. He could hear the scattering of footsteps of submissive and Loki’s eyes watered as his feet was unchained and his pants were quickly removed.

He had disappointed him.

Loki’s throat went dry. “Thor, I’m s…” Before he could get out the word sorry, Thor was shoving his well lubricated cock inside him in one swift thrust.

All the air in Loki’s lungs was forced out of his lungs. The pace was fast and rough but Loki stayed relaxed even with the strain Thor was putting on his body.

He felt Thor’s cock pulse and release inside of him the warm wetness filling him. Despite the orgasm though, Thor stayed hard and continued to fuck Loki at the same brutal pace.

“Oh Loki.” Thor was moaning. “Loki, Loki, Loki.”

Thor ripped the blindfold off as he pumped another load into Loki’s anus. Still, though, he didn’t let up. Loki could barely do more than groan. His prostate was super sensitive and Thor was pounding into him with enough force to send squirts of precum out the tip of penis. Sparkles were dancing before his eyes before he slowly lost consciousness.

When he woke up, he was uncuffed and shaking. His body felt well used and slightly sore but he was still vibrating in pleasure. He had on the spare sweat pants and loose t-shirt Thor packed for him to go home in.

He surveyed the room looking for Thor but didn’t see him. He slid off the bed Thor must have laid him on and walked into the adjacent room. He spotted Thor sitting on the couch, one arm propping his head up as his fingers covered his eyes. He looked just as shaky as Loki did.

Loki’s brain was still foggy, the effects of subspace still hindering his normal thought process, but he could tell something was off.

“Thor?” Loki’s voice was still raspy all he got in return was a groan of acknowledgment. Loki moved Thor’s hand from his face. “Thor? Are you alright?”

Another groan and then Thor opened his eyes. The normally bright blue was almost completely covered by his pupils. They looked cloudy and unfocused.

Loki frowned trying to figure out what was going on with Thor. Thor’s eyes closed again and Loki moved away from the couch. He found the bottles of water Thor had send to the room and drank on down in four gulps. He’d have thought Thor was in sub space. But that didn’t make sense di it? Did masters have a top drop as subs did? He hadn’t ever seen that online but then, Thor had always told me that the internet wasn’t the best source of information about this lifestyle.

He went back to Thor. “Master?” He shock Thor gently. “Master we have to go home.”

Thor groaned, a tremor still evident in his hands. “Just give me a minute Kitten.”

It looked like Thor wouldn’t need more than a minute.

Loki sat next to him trying to think about what to do. He knew he had to get Thor home but he was in no condition to make any kind of coherent decision. He remembered Thor had told him subs often made poor decision while under the effects of subspace. But if Thor was going through something similar, then his decisions would be questionable as well.

The rule was, Loki wasn’t to speak to slaves or doms while in the club. It took Loki a moment to figure out how to get around that without disappointing his Master. It dawned on him that Darcy was there and she wasn’t a slave or dom, so Thor wouldn’t possibly be mad at him for talking to her.

Loki walked to where Thor kept their personal items and withdrew his phone. He called Darcy and waited for her to pick up.

“Lokes! I didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight.”

Loki opened his mouth but found it hard to find a word to speak. Despite the water he drunk he felt dry inside and his mind suddenly drew a blank.

“Hey Lokes? You alright?”

Loki licked at his lips. “There’s something wrong with Thor. I need… he needs to get home.”

“What’s wrong with Thor?” She sounded concerned but not overly so. It sounded like maybe Steve had allowed her a few drinks.

“I don’t… I’m not sure. I… can you call a cab? I… I have to get Master home.”

It took her a moment to answer and when she did, she sounded more sober. “Where are you?”

“Downstairs. One of the rooms. I think 213.”

He could hear some rustling before she answers. “Alright stay there.”

Loki went back to the couch and took a seat with his Master. As much as he wanted to just fall asleep, he knew he had to get Thor home. His sole focus was Thor. The test may have been about him, but it seemed the aftercare would have to be about Thor.

As he waited for help to arrive, Loki went over to the subspace bar again and pulled out some water and a chocolate bar. He ate it slowly, feeling his body get a bit stronger even though his mind was still very fuzzy. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but he had to be able to think as best he could.

He sat next Thor trying to just trying to stay awake. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion even as Natasha and Bruce entered the room. Thor made no move to get up and didn’t really look conscious. Natasha stopped in front of Loki. “Are you alright?”

000

When Steve came up to her saying that Darcy told him Loki called she wasn’t overly surprised. Though the scene was mild to most heavy players, it was taxing on both of them more than it would have been for anyone else.

She knew Loki was in subspace, and she was ninety percent sure Thor was suffering from the under explored top drop.

It’s a common enough occurrence, Natasha knew, but still most don’t recognize the signs.

She was happy Loki realized that Thor wasn’t in his right mind.

“Something is wrong with Thor.” Was the answer she received from Loki despite the fact that she asked how he was.

“He’ll be alright. We just need to get you guys home.” She took a step forward to reach for him to help him up but was surprised when he had flinched out of her reach.

“No one is supposed to touch me.” Was his explanation.

Natasha had to smile. It was the proper reaction for a slave to have when his master had given the order of not toughing or being touched. Unfortunately, Thor was not of a mind to tell Loki it was alright to break the rule this time. Instead, she had Bruce tend to Loki while she handled Thor.

Once on his feet, Thor looked drunk. He sways slightly and when he spoke his throat sounded dry with his words slurred slightly. “Where’s Loki?”

Natasha smiled. “With Bruce. We’re going to take you guys home.”

Thor nodded and followed them down. There wasn’t an eye that wasn’t on them as they left but they only had eyes for each other. Neither of them responded when Sif called out to them. They didn’t respond to the doms slapping Thor on the back or even to chilly night air once they went outside.

Bruce went to get the car and Natasha watched as Thor leaned against the building and Loki leaned against Thor. Loki was much more lucid than Thor but Thor continued to pet Loki’s head. “You were so perfect.” He kept saying. “My beautiful Kitten.”

Top space was a nice place to be in with the right sub/slave. It was that moment when you realized the slave you owned was the most perfect slave you could have. It’s when you realized they gave you everything and broke apart under your fingertips.

The drop was similar to sub drop though not as sever. But after you watch your sub crumble, you start to worry that you didn’t put them back together again properly. You wonder if you are enough for them. You start to feel unworthy of such as beautiful gift.

It’s how she felt the first time Bruce had explored sense deprivation of all his senses.

When Bruce pulled up in the car, Loki had to help Thor get into the car. And once in they slept on each other the whole ride home. And once home, Loki helped Thor upstairs before stepping out his own shoes and helping Thor take off his.

Thor was asleep once his head hit the pillow, but Loki remained standing in the middle of the room, one arm across his chest holding the other. There was a slight tremble going through his thin body now and Natasha realized immediately that he was dropping.

Bruce noticed too but he didn’t make a step to him. What Loki needed wasn’t the comfort of another slave. He needed the comfort of a master, preferably his own.

He had held out so long. Taking care of his Master and getting them home safely. But now he was alone, unsure if anything he’d done was right.

This was why it was so important to have a network in this world.

Natasha took on her best stern voice, knowing Loki was used to responding to a more baritone tone. “Loki!”

He looked sharply to her.

“You’re falling from subspace and Thor will be coming down soon as well.” The direct approach would work well she knew. Though she knew that Loki was a similar slave to Bruce, they were not at all the same. She couldn’t take the chance that Loki would mistake something she said.  “What do you need?”

Loki swallowed as she watched his face lit up in the moon light shining through their bedroom. “Blankets.”

She nodded. “Very good.” Praise was important. It was almost the most important thing for a slave to have. “Where are they?”

He pointed the closet and Bruce went to grab a quilt.

“What else Loki? What do you need when you drop?”

He shuffled in place. “Water. And something to eat.” He took the quilt from Bruce and Nat nodded at her slave as he went to get the supplies from the kitchen.

Loki sat on the bed and opened the bags of chips and chocolate wrappers when Bruce returned. He opened the waters and put everything into reach of the bed and a part of Natasha was proud of her friend for training Loki how to care for himself in times like this.

Much too often, slaves were left to care from themselves during this time and often they are ill equipped. But Loki was on point even during what had to have been one of the most emotional nights he’d had since he and Thor got back together.

And she was proud of Loki for trusting in such a state.

“Natasha.” He said sitting on the bed looking down at Thor. “Do you think I pleased him?”

That was an understatement. Thor was more than pleased. Thor felt so comfortable that he slept as if he’d been put to the test. Thor was going to kiss the ground Loki walked on for six months at least. But it was a typical question for a slave to ask. They never felt good enough. That’s why they needed a master to tell them they were.

“Yes.” She answered quickly but she knew her reassurance wasn’t what Loki needed.

She weighed her options. Thor was most likely in a deep stage of sleep and rousing him to see Loki so broken could cause his own drop to worsen. But then, Loki was the slave. Loki was the one who needed the reassurance. It was Loki’s night.

She’d decided she could help Thor drop much better than Loki. Loki wouldn’t even let her touch him. And Thor at least has had a longer time to collect himself. Loki had to take care of everything from the start of his aftercare. It was time for his break.

But when Loki laid his head on Thor’s belly, Thor stirred. “No, come up here, I want you closer.”

Loki was quick to respond and it was then that she realized he was crying. “I’m sorry Thor.”

Who knew what Loki was apologizing for? Most likely he felt he let his master down for lying on his stomach instead of side by side. She knew that during this time most slaves were super sensitive even though the logic was deeply flawed. No matter the discipline of a slave, no one could read minds.

She watched as her friend embraced him. “My Kitten, you have no reason to apologize to me.”

“I’ve made you happy?”

Thor groaned his approval but that didn’t seem to comfort Loki. He became restless, sniffling and sighing. This was a behavior that she was not familiar with. Any approval was enough for Bruce.

Loki seemed more agitated now than he had the whole night and she was able to break her own rules and step over her bounds. She’d have to break Thor’s rule of no one touching Loki and get Loki some place to calm down.

But then Thor sat up sharply looking dazed and placed a hand on Loki’s face. He kissed him, softly, almost chastely until Loki stilled. “I love you.”

That seemed to do the trick because they settled next to each other and went to sleep.

As Natasha went to lock everything up, she thought about how she’d feel if it was Bruce who had performed so spectacularly that night. She’d be so proud to call him her slave. She’d be so turned on, so in love. It was ridiculous how well Loki had done.

It wasn’t just the test. It was the way he fought through his own subspace to care for his Master. It was the definition of a slave. She couldn’t wait to get the phone call from Thor in the morning. She knew he’d be…

She stopped mid stride to the door.

“Mistress?” Bruce asked.

“Thor’s going to be a wreck.” Was her response. “Loki has exceeded every expectation and Thor is going to feel as if he fell apart at a time Loki needed him.”

Bruce nodded. “It’s true.”

It didn’t matter that it was Thor who taught Loki. It didn’t matter that he had instinctually woke up and eased Loki with three words and a kiss. None of that matters to a master who felt like he failed in giving his slave exactly what he needed.

“Perhaps we should stay the night just in case.”

Bruce nodded. “It will be good for them both.”

Bruce set up the couch for them and Natasha settled on top of Bruce feeling lucky for small size and she sighed. Being a master was hard. Having to play in the confines of their slaves while providing for their needs was tricky.

To compound things, there were times where you don’t do as well as you think you should have. Tonight was a time where Thor would have to accept that he was human. After catering to Loki’s every needed for so long, she knew Thor would struggle with being the weak one for a change.

What Natasha was happy for was that Loki was strong enough to hold Thor up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets the closure they need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a beta! Thanks Sancta!

Thor watched as Loki moved at the speed of lightening around the kitchen muttering to himself. “I’m going to be late.” He grumbled himself. “I’m going to be late.”

Thor sat at the counter watching him make his breakfast wanting to ask, _don’t you see me here perfectly capable of cooking the eggs._

But Loki wasn’t going to ask, because Loki felt guilty for ignoring the alarm clock this morning and falling behind in his routine.

“Do you want me to plate it for you?” He eventually asked when Loki turned the fire off the eggs.

Loki whirled around to him. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Thor inquired tilting his head to the side.

Loki shuffled for a moment. “For not going to bed when you told me to which caused me to get up late which is the reason why I can’t finish your breakfast.”

Thor smiled softly. “Give me a kiss.”

Loki walked over and placed a relatively chaste kiss on Thor’s lips, guilt dripping off it. With a quick motion Thor grabbed the spray bottle on the counter and gave Loki two quick shots in the face.

Loki backed away with a hissing noise. “You know that’s getting really old!”

Thor smiled. “I could retire it if you learned to go to sleep on time Kitten.”

Loki snorted as he continued to gather his things, shoving files in his messenger bag. His hair was out, black waves framing his face. He hadn’t had the time to gel it back into its usual style and it took all of his considerable restraint not to run his fingers through those long delicate waves.

Loki was beautiful. There was nothing about that man’s body that Thor disliked. And after the test, Loki had become even more desirable, not just to him but to everyone else in the club as well.

It was such a bumpy road at first. Loki was upset that he failed to fail, which amused Thor in a special kind of way. Only Loki could pass a test that no one else could pass and be upset because he was supposed to fail it.

And Thor was upset at not being there for Loki during his drop. He hated the moments where he wasn’t in control, especially in a scene, and a small part of him still felt like he somehow let Loki down at a time when Loki needed him the most.

But they had talked it out... It took two weeks, maybe three, for them to get to the place where they could both look back on that night with nothing but fond memories.

And Thor was so grateful they had helped... Bruce and Natasha were their most supportive backbone during this time. Natasha was swift to remind him that though he was the mentally stronger one of the pair, Loki had his strengths as well and all he did was prove it to everyone else that faithful night.

“Instead of feeling like you failed, you should feel like he won.” Was what she said.

And Bruce, well they simply disappeared one afternoon for tea and Thor still doesn’t know that the slave told Loki, but upon his return home he gleefully sang said, “You’re lucky to have me” before walking away to start dinner with a quiet little smirk on his face.

Thor had smiled at that because subs often forgot they were the jewels in the pair. Male or female.

With fond thoughts he devoured the eggs his Kitten so loving prepared for him and left for work. He was anticipating a quiet day in his office doing his paperwork and listening to the easy listening station, but he was surprised to see Sif sitting at his desk when he arrived.

She looked up at him, eyes looking sad or maybe lonely. “Thor.”

“Sif.” Thor echoed. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you. I wanted to see how you’re doing.” She answered quietly.

After she had moved Thor sat in his chair. “I’m fine. How are you?”

Sif only smiled but didn’t answer the question. “You haven’t been in the club for a while.”

Thor sighed, frustrated by the woman’s presence. He wasn’t actually mad at Sif any more. He had no real feelings for the woman to be honest, but he didn’t want to actually know her anymore. And he wanted her as far away from Loki as possible. “What can I do for you Sif?”

“I want to understand.” She answered as if that meant something to him.

“Understand what?”

“What makes you so special? I mean I was with him for a decade and he was a wreck. You come and all of a sudden he’s this model man?” She sounded hurt. As if they had set out for any of this to happen. It was Sif who started this all and now it seemed she was trying to find someone else to shouldered blame.

Thor laughed darkly at her blatant jealously. “At the beginning of my relationship with him, he was the one questioning me about you. There’s nothing special about me.”

“There must be.” She insisted.

“Sif -”

“You know if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have ever had a chance with him.”

Now Thor could feel the frustration turning into anger. “You want a thank you?”

She shuffled around where she stood, nostrils flaring and eyes watering. “No.”

“Then what do you want!” He was trying hard to control his tone, not wanting everyone in the station to know their business. It was bad enough they knew he and Loki were even together. They didn’t need to know the details of what had happened over the last year. “Are you mad at me for having a man you left?”

“That’s’ just it!” Sif snarled. “He isn’t the man I left Thor. He is something completely different. Something better.”

“I agree. But you seem mad about it. Mad that I got the best part of him and you got the worst?”

She huffed in annoyance. “You’ve got it wrong.”

“No, no I don’t. And the funny thing is? You could have gotten it had you just given him what he needed after his suicide attempt. That man worshipped you.” Thor growled trying to control the sheer fury boiling in his stomach. She had horribly neglected Loki, blamed him for things beyond his control and cheated on him so openly and yet here she was before him spitting venom at their relationship when everyone knew hers wouldn’t last.

“But you’ve got Fandral now right?” Thor continued when he was sure he was able to speak without roaring at the woman. “You’re addictive Fandral who you barely knew before you slept with him at the club. The same one who can’t keep his eyes off of other women or men for that matter and yet all the while you were with Loki you knew you were all he ever saw. You were his every thought and he twisted himself inside out to please you. He did things he knew was wrong, he went against his conscious to see you smile. Forgive me Sif you are right, I did have it all wrong. You’re not mad that I got the best part of him, you’re mad that you weren’t enough for me. You’re mad that him, a broken, guilt ridden man won me over while you couldn’t.”

That seemed to touch a nerve because the tears started to fall from her eyes and she stomped off.

And try as hard as he could that set the tone for the rest of his day. Thor was in a bad mood, no matter how hard he tried to shake it. The nerve of that woman. She never even made her point.

He wasn’t’ sure if she was mad that Loki had him or that he had Loki, but it didn’t matter. Neither of them asked to be in the situation that they were in. In fact, Loki actively asked to be removed from it several times in the beginning just by pushing as many buttons as he could.

 For his part, Thor felt no guilt, he couldn’t. He owned Sif nothing. And even if he and Loki didn’t last forever, at least he knew Loki would be stronger now. That he wouldn’t fall into that kind of trap again.

Grumbling into his paperwork he resolved to get it done as quickly as possible. His short ill-temper thankfully kept everyone away from asking him any questions. Powering through without lunch and without the distractions from the others he was even able to leave 30 minutes early, quickly ducking out through the side just so that he wouldn’t run into Sif.

By the time he returned home, Thor was starving and exhausted. All he wanted was a hot bath, some good dinner and time with his slave.

Much to Thor’s delight, when he pushed open their bedroom door, Loki was home, sprawled out on the bed already in his PJs drowsily petting Fenrir. Both he and the dog looked up. The dog jumped off the bed and sprinted over to him for proper rubs. Loki didn’t jump or sprint but instead sauntered over to him give him a kiss.

“You look tired.” He said. “Hard day?”

Thor nodded. “Sif came by to see me.”

Loki frowned. “Why?”

“To rant. I think maybe things with her and Fandral aren’t working out.” Thor said wrapping his arms around Loki and pulling him in for another kiss.

“Well I ordered Chinese. Do you want me to run you a bath?”

Thor moaned in relief. “Only if you join me.”

Loki laughed and pushed himself away from him. “You’re such a freak Thor.”

“Mmhmm and bring the water proof lube.”

Loki snorted as he grabbed the lube and went towards the bathroom to start the bath. “Now there’s romance” he drawled.

Thor stopped him though, one strong hand around Loki’s forearm. “You want romance?” Thor framed Loki’s face in his hands as placed gentle kisses around his forehead and checks. Each eye got a kiss, as well as his nose. He could feel Loki’s heartbeat speeding up as his breath came out in short bursts. “I love you Loki.”

Loki’s grip on his shoulders was tight. He looked lost for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure what to say or do. It was such a strange, lovely feeling to him. Thor could punish him, rough him up, and chain him down, but these simple acts of love always stump Loki.

“Remind me Thor.” He whispered.

Thor held his lover’s face tighter as he brought their lips together. This kiss was not as soft as the first one was. No, this kiss was as if they were consumed by it. There was no greater achievement in Thor’s life than his slave. These moments were for just the two of them and Loki was true to his feelings.

He was clinging to Thor, hands fisted in his shirt. When he pulled away for breath he smiled. “My poor heart can’t handle such romance.”

Thor laughed and moved away. “Don’t get too used to it, Kitten. I read that scene in a book and that’s about all I got.”

Loki laughed and rolled his eyes. “I’m going to go set your bath.”

Thor watched him disappear into the bathroom and sighed. He looked around the room, finally feeling content. There were somethings that were clearly only Loki’s, like the candle set and the puzzle table. Other things were uniquely Thor’s like his Patten Manning shirt hanging on the wall. Loki’s dark green curtains clashed merrily with his bright red bed spread. Fenrir’s storm gray bed was tucked into the corner under the window, while their family pictures were hanging on the walls. But mostly everything was united.

This was home. It was everything he could have wanted.

“Master?” He turned to Loki, naked and by the bathroom door. Steam was starting to filter out around him. “Are you ready?”

Thor smiled. “More than.”

000

Sif was furious. No she was beyond furious. She could barely see straight, blood was roaring in her ears and she wanted to punch someone’s lights out.

Her meeting with Thor gave her no satisfaction. She felt no closure. It still felt like an open wound in her and speaking to him only made it worse. She should have never even tried to speak to him in the first place but she still had so many questions. There were still so many things she didn’t understand.

She couldn’t understand why Thor didn’t see it her way. Life with Loki had always been complicated and his attempted suicide only made things worse. It wasn’t her fault that Loki decided to dive out a window and yet somehow, she felt as if she was being punished for it.

She watched them for a while after they got back together. Though things seemed to have changed, she didn’t really believe that Loki could love so healthily. Not after what he’d been through.

And despite all the claims that Loki was a better man, she noticed a lot of flaws. His desire to pacify seemed to have diminished. He was much mouthier. She’d actually heard him say no to Thor a few times while they sat at the club and yet it seemed to amuse the doms that were around him. It made no sense. No slave should have the right to say no and yet it seemed like Loki was praised for doing it.

She hated him! With a passion that she never even loved him with. 

And when she saw him sitting in his favorite café eating his favorite muffin with a cup of coffee, her anger propelled her forward. If she couldn’t get closure with Thor then she would with Loki. It was Loki after all that owed her. He was the one that took years from her life. Thor was just a pleasant distraction, but Loki was always supposed to be forever.

She entered the café and took a steading breath as she walked over to his table. He seemed consumed by some paperwork, probably the case he caught the previous day. He didn’t even bother to look up when she stopped in front of his table.

“Loki.” She said already exasperated.

He looked up one eyebrow arched at her but said nothing.

She dumped herself in to chair in front of him with a louder bang than she intended drawing the attention of a few other patrons. Loki seemed unfazed though.

Sitting across from him, looking into his green eyes so cold and loveless was deflating her anger. She shook her head trying to find words. Trying to find something to say.

He was no help.

Loki said nothing. His stare was making her more and more uncomfortable each passing moment.

There was a time when she loved him. There was a time that the man she was looking at now was only a shadow. Now he had confidence in his eyes. Now he was fine with sitting in awkward silence across from her as she looked angry.

Her anger used to paralyze him.

She had no power over him now.

She opened her mouth still unsure of what to say when he seemed to deflate. He shook his head and chuckled for a moment an amused smile pulling his lips. He gathered his things and stood up. With a smile still on his lips he simply said, “Good bye Sif.”

She watched him walk away realizing that she didn’t get the closure she wanted. She didn’t get to tell him how angry she was. She didn’t get to tell him how unfair it all was that she ended up without either of them.

But as she looked at his half eaten muffin she realized there was some closure. All his feelings for her were gone. All that seemed to be left was indifference.

It might not have been her closure, but it definitely was his.

000

There was a sense of finality when Loki returned home from the bakery. It was a sense that a part of his life was over and it felt like a weight had been lifted off. It wasn’t like he had completely erased the first part of his adult life but it felt like the book had closed and he could start another one, hopefully with a better ending.

But while showering he realized he still had a weight on him... one that he had been carrying far longer than he carried Sif as a burden.

He turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist that was getting far wider than it should. Thor’s eating schedule and Darcy’s cupcakes were doing things to him.

Thor was working even though it was supposed to be his day off. It happened when there was some big case that needed the attention of a lot of detectives and Thor was good at his job so they called often.

It didn’t really bother Loki any more to be alone. In fact he was started to revel in it because Thor was always there. He was there in the morning, there in the night, there on the phone and sometimes on FaceTime. It was nice sometimes to have him not there. It gave him a chance to think and after his encounter with Sif, Loki had done a lot of thinking.

Yes things were better. In fact, this time of his life was the best in his life. That’s not to say that his time with Sif was horrible. He could remember many times when things were just good. It was just when things were bad they were horrible. With Thor, even when things were bad, they were good.

But there was still a dark cloud lingering above their heads threatening to pour down on them.

The belts Thor originally locked away had been moved around a lot but they found their home again in their bedroom locked away. The key was given to Loki again as a symbol of their on going and ever building trust..“Nothing has changed but the walls we sleep in.” Thor had said when he was presented with they key again. “The symbolism is still there and this will always be a symbol of our trust.”

It was a little too sentimental for Loki’s tastes. Sure, it was a romantic gesture and one Thor hadn’t copied from a book or movie. But he didn’t need the belts to remember he trusted Thor.

And he yet he didn’t trust Thor enough to use the belts.

It seemed wrong. It seemed like the last thing holding him back from having a fresh start.

He opened the draw and looked through the belts carefully. They ranged in sizes and thicknesses. They were brand new, brought solely for the purposes of being locked away for all eternity. Seemed like a waste of money to Loki and yet there was something so touching about it.

There was one belt though that looked an awful lot like the belts his father owned. It was brown, of medium thickness and had rather large belt buckle. This one was round, but the one his father had was in the shape of Texas. He had a permanent scar that he used to tell people was a birth mark.

Loki touched it tentatively as if it would bite him as remembered how much he felt a beating with the belt. He’d be raw and stiff and sore for days sometimes weeks after. The sting he’d remember long after he got away from the man. He couldn’t imagine how someone could enjoy something like that. Equally he couldn’t understand how someone could give it.

But he knew Thor did though. He’d heard stories about it and though he never really thought Thor was bad for using them, he couldn’t imagine a belt being a source of pleasure. Not when he knew the pain it could cause.

He removed the brown belt, the one that looked so much like his father’s, and laid it down on the bed. He sat next to it looking at it steadily.

He trusted Thor. He trusted the man with his life. It seemed stupid that a man that could easily rip out his heart and feed it to him waited until Loki would take out the belts to hurt him. He knew it was stupid on a very rational level, and it there was still something in him that thought it could be a possibility. Because the possibility of someone you love hurting you was often a probability in his life.

“Loki?”

Loki startled at the sound of Thor’s voice. He hadn’t even heard the man come in. “Thor?” He asked stupidly, as if he didn’t know the man would be home eventually.

“Are you alright? What are you doing?” Thor looked mildly concerned but more curious.

Loki sighed trying to figure out how to explain it to him. “I think I want you to use it on me.”

For a moment Thro only looked at him before sighing and dropping his stuff on the floor. “You’re talking about taking on a hard limit.”

”I’m talking about overcoming something that’s holding us back.” Loki answered back quickly.

Thor looked stressed or maybe more tired as he leaned up against the wall

Loki suddenly felt wrong for having a discussion like this before Thor had a chance to unwind from the day. Or maybe Thor just didn’t like the idea of doing it and his look of weariness was more at the situation than the day... “We don’t have to talk about this right now Thor.” Loki went to stand from the bed. “Let me draw you a bath.”

“Sit down!” He said sharply enough that Loki dropped back on the bed with a bounce.

“What’s your problem?” Loki asked surprised at the tone. It was one reserved for when he did something irritating.

“Right now my problem is you bringing something up that we clearly need to talk about and then trying to retract it because you think I’m against it.”

Loki reddened. What was it about him that Thor seemed to be able to read? “You look tired.”

“I am but no more tired than any other day and I’m never too tired for you and that is something you should know.”

Loki felt chastised. “I’m sorry Master.”

Thor’s face softened and Loki almost smiled. No matter how hard doms were, they melted like butter for their subs. “Explain this to me in simple terms.”

“I feel like this is holding me back. I feel like I need to give this weight away and I don’t know how else to do it. We talk about it in therapy and yet it doesn’t seem to help.”

Loki watched as Thor sat in a seat across from the bed. “It could help. Or it could hurt. The damage could be severe.”

On the flip side, if no damage was done, it was something Loki could finally move on from. But it was more than that. “Thor, you had belts because you liked them.”

Thor shook his head and interrupted him before Loki could further explain. “Don’t make this about me.”

“Don’t act like you don’t influence every move I make.” Loki countered. “It’s simple really. There is something that you like that you have had to lock away because of something that can never be erased or changed. It’s an experience that he’s taken away from me Thor. Unless I just let you do it.”

Thor stood up and walked over to him after regarding him for a few moments. He seemed taller somehow and it wasn’t just because Loki was sitting. No, Thor had that ability to suddenly overwhelm him just by being in his space. Thor gripped his chin and lifted it, his blue eyes sparkling with something that Loki couldn’t place. Sometimes he wanted to ask what Thor saw when he looked at him like that. What was in his head? What did he see?

“What are your safe words?” He asked softly.

Loki gulped. Were they going to do it right then? “Red to stop, yellow to slow down, green for good.”

“Take off your clothes.”

Loki suddenly felt paralyzed. He thought they’d be some build up. Thor always wanted to talk about things, to the point of nauseam.

“Loki, in addition to your safe words, if I feel at any time that you can’t handle this, I’m stopping and right now, your deer in headlights look tells me we aren’t doing this.”

Panic suddenly gripped Loki. “No.” He said, his fingers suddenly shaking as he tried to get the buttons undone on his shirt.

Thor’s large hands suddenly wrapped around Loki’s and Loki looked up wildly meeting Thor’s calm eyes.

And just like that Loki had found his center. He took a few deep breaths and got himself under control. No matter what chaos he was in, Thor had the ability to calm him. He was an anchor even at times when Loki didn’t necessarily want to be anchored.

“Making you wait to do this would be cruel.” Thor answered the question Loki never asked. “We do this now or not at all.”

Loki nodded feeling a bit more steady even in his nervousness. Thor was right. He’d never sleep thinking about it. He’d go back and forth wanted to do it and then wanting to call it off. He didn’t want to put Thor through nights of added anxiety.

Thor released his hands and Loki was able to unbutton his shirt and remove his clothes. Thor remained dressed as he picked up the belt. “Lay on your stomach.”

Loki did as instructed, his head turned towards the pale green wall instead of Thor.

“No, look at me. I want to see your face and I want you to see mine. I want you to see who is doing this.”

Loki turned his head and looked up at his lover. “How many?” He asked hoping for a number more than one but not much more.

“Three.” Came Thor’s quick answer. “One for you, one for me and one for us.”

Sentiment. Why did it move him so?

Loki nodded.

“I want you to count it out and I want you to say my name after. Not Master.”

Loki nodded. “I love you.

Thor smiled. “That’s what makes this different than what he did Loki.” Loki closed his eyes for a moment. “Remember that. And remember that I love you too. Are you ready?”

Loki nodded.

The first hit caused a hiss to escape from Loki’s clenched teeth. It hurt just as much as he remembered. No, not as much but somewhere close to it. “One Thor.”

“Who was that for?” Thor asked, his voice suddenly deeper to Loki’s ears.

“Me.” He answered when he was able to unclench his jaw.

The second hit tore a cry from him. He almost safe worded until he felt a soft touch in his hair. This was Thor. If his skin had broken, if they’d gone too far, Thor would stop. Thor wouldn’t hurt him.

Well, only if Loki asked for it anyway.

“Two Thor.” This one came out in heavy breaths as if he’d run up hill.

“Who was that for?” Thor wanted to know.

“You.” He replied wetly. Because he suddenly realized Thor was upset that Loki had to live through his abuse as well. He needed to let go too, which was why this decision wasn’t only about him.

The last hit came so fast Loki hadn’t time to brace from it. It was a hit the most like the ones his father would give. His mouth opened but no sound came out but it wasn’t because of the pain, no, because the hit didn’t actually hurt. It didn’t feel good either, but somehow it wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought it’d be now that it was over.

“Three Thor.” He said almost as a sigh, his eyes closed.

He’d done it. He’d lived through. He’d given Thor the last of his pain and Thor took it as if it were a gift.

“And who was that for?” The sudden closeness of Thor startled him. His eyes opened as he felt Thor climb on the bed, his clothes gone and his erection full and needy looking.

He felt the pressure on his back as Thor’s hands examined what he guessed where red spots. “Us.”

Because they needed this. They needed to let this go.

Thor groaned.

“Not like this Thor.” Loki said as he felt Thor’s fingers trailing down his back towards his cheeks. “He’d… after, he’d…”

It was still so hard to say it but it didn’t matter because Thor quickly changed their positions and Loki found himself straddling Thor with Thor on his back looking up at him.

“My beautiful Kitten.” He said as he passed Loki a tube of lube from out the nightstand.

Loki took the lube and spread it over Thor’s cock. He didn’t know when he got hard himself but he suddenly felt like he was going to burst.

It wasn’t the hits that turned him on, it was Thor’s reaction to them. He liked that Thor liked doing it.

Apparently Thor felt the same way because the lube was taken away from him roughly and his hips were held steady as Thor thrust up and into him.

Loki’s head fell back at the intrusion, his mouth gaped and eyes closed. He leaned forward and braced his hands on Thor’s chest as he started moving his hips.

Thor groaned as if Loki was stabbing him. “That’s it my Kitten. You’re so beautiful. My brave Loki.” He said. “You’ve given me everything.”

So then it wasn’t the act of hitting someone that Thor liked, it was the idea of someone taking the hit.

Loki panted as he rode on top of him. Thor’s hips started snapping up to meet him changing the depth of penetration and making his insides clench at the intrusion. The constant pressure on his prostrate caused his own cock to drool uncontrollably. He could feel those delicious contraction forming, his first dry orgasm starting.

These were not controllable. He couldn’t make them happen and he couldn’t stop it. No, Thor was in complete control and the smile on his face as the first contraction hit him, he loved it.

Loki quivered, his thrusts now erratic and poorly executed but Thor didn’t flip them over. No, instead he slapped Loki’s butt cheek. “Focus Kitten. I won’t put you on your back and I won’t put you on all fours so it’s up to you.”

“Thor please I can’t.”

Thor’s grip hardened. “I hate that word. You’ll do what I tell you Kitten. Now focus.”

Oh that tone of voice, the feeling of Thor’s cock head rubbing inside him worked together to throw him into another fit of pleasure which only made Thor laugh sadistically.

“It’ll end when you make it end.” Thor said. “I’ll last as long as you let me.”

The comment enraged him enough to make him slam his hips down and clench around Thor’s girth. Though it served to at least shut him up it also served to make another contraction to start. Loki gritted his teeth together so hard his jaw clicked. He forced his body to continue to assault itself as he started to feel Thor twitch inside of him.

“Come!” Loki almost yelled. “Please Thor.”

Thor arched, his mouth opened and a groan ripped from him as he filled Loki with cum. Loki continued to pound himself up and down forcing out more pleasure from his lover.

“Can I come Thor? Please, please can I come?” He’d only beg for orgasms and so Thor had him do it regularly.

He got a weak “Mmmhmm.” In response but it was enough.

His back bowed as his stomach quivered. Thor had gripped his wrists keeping him from rubbing on his aching cock to find relief. Instead, Loki had to grind down on his sensitive prostate to get the stimulation he needed to release. And when he released he couldn’t even breathe enough to make a sound. It was as if his whole body was one big bundle of nerves. His whole body felt each shot. His toes curled against the bed spread, his eyes rolled up into his head until finally it subsided and he collapsed on Thor’s stomach despite their mess.

“You make orgasms look like so much fun.” Thor said when he caught his breath.

Loki laughed. “I deserve good orgasms, I’ve had a hard life.”

Thor’s laugh rumbled through his chest. “Come on, up.”

“Wait, I just want to sleep.” Loki complained trying to snuggle deeper into Thor’s chest despite the discomfort of their cooling semen.

“Our scene isn’t finished.” Thor pushed Loki off him, using one of their discarded shirts to wipe them off, and then lifted Loki onto his feet as he got up. “Grab the belt.”

Loki frowned but did as he was told

“Put it back in the drawer.”

Loki dropped in and then looked at Thor for his next instruction.

“Close it and lock it.”

Again Loki did as he was told.

Thor watched him do it, a proud smile on his handsome face. “The first time I gave you a key, it was so that you’d trust me to never pass the lines you drew. Now, I want you to give me the key so that you’d trust me to be able to use but not to.”

Loki blinked. If Thor had the key he could use them at any time. He’d have no control over it any more.

But did he need control of it?

Thor would never hurt him. Thor wasn’t Sif and his wasn’t his father. Thor was something he’d never had.

He extended his arm and held the key at Thor.

Thor smiled brighter and slid it from Loki’s fingers.

He wasn’t really sure why, but the relief he felt after that was greater than the relief he felt when he orgasmed. He felt like laughing and crying at the same time and what came out was a strange growl-ish hiccup.

Thor laughed and brought him to his chest enveloping him in a hug.

“It’s over Kitten. It’s finally over.”

Loki sighed.

“You know there is still one more thing I’ve never punished you for though.”

Loki pushed away to look at Thor’s face. All worry vanished when he saw that Thor was still smiling though “What?”

“For letting my house burn down.”

Loki’s eyes widened. “Oh.” Was all he could say for the moment? “But I didn’t start the fire.”

“I think two weeks without Darcy’s cupcakes will make me feel as if retribution was properly given.”

Loki huffed. That would be worse than the belting.

But at least they had gotten it all out.

They’d move on.

And for the first time ever in Loki’s life, everything would be ok. Even when it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it! It's over! I hoped everyone liked reading it. Please comment and let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always great!


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